𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 • 𝘠𝘈𝘕!𝘒.𝘒𝘰𝘻𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

10 ➛ invading thoughts

Even in the comfort of his own room Kenma couldn't escape the perturbed feeling that invaded his internal and external being. Kenma looked at his shaking hands as he took deep breaths to calm himself down, when it proved to be futile he started to hyperventilate. Kenma hated this, he didn't wanted to be worked up every waking hour, he didn't want to feel uncomfortable in his own body. Kenma's gaze went all over his room in desperate search for any sign of you. He knew you weren't in his room, but his mind was too much in a frenzy to completely understand anything.

Pathetically, he hugged his figure to comfort himself which also proved to be futile. Then suddenly, Kenma's mind then wandered to something he should never do or even think, but he was shamelessly considering it. He didn't know where the idea came from, but he was a desperate, anxious teenager who's only chill pill is you. At the moment, he really thought that was his only choice.

After taking the time to comfort his conscious mind, he decided that he'll give you a 'visit'. More accurately to stalk you, but Kenma didn't want to think of it like that.

He let his gaze wander to the bedside alarm clock Illuminating the current time. 11:47. He stood up from his bed to get ready. He picked out a black hoodie with black pants, he was going to do something illegal, might aswell look the part, right?

Fortunately for Kenma, his parents are fast asleep, so it saved Kenma the trouble to explain where he was going at such a late hour.

When Kenma was about to leave through the front door, he stood frozen in his tracks. That was the moment he started to question his morality and sanity.

'What am I doing? I can't go spy on her.. what if I get caught?' Kenma's mind starts to fog up in fear at the thought of the authorities getting involve, and worse, how would you look at him if he was a criminal? Let alone the crime he was commiting concerned you.

Kenma removed his hand from the doorknob of his front door, he decided it wasn't worth it, disappointed in himself for almost commiting a crime.

He shook the initial plan away, he walked back up to his room to settle for something else in replace of your presence.

He entered his room and approached his desk, rummaging to the slightly untidy mess on his table to search for a certain item.

'where is.. oh!' He took out the calico cat Keychain that you had given him. He instantly felt calmed down, the item being just enough of a replacement for your absenteeism.

The goosebumps, the anxiety, the jitters, all had vanished just because of the keychain being within his grasp.

"[Name].." he spoke to no one aloud, as if sadden that he had to cope with only the keychain as it was the second best option.

Because you couldn't be there with him.

Kenma didn't sleep that night, in fact, he didn't even try to. He spent every waking moment playing with the game that you had given him on the first day you both met.

•••

"Kenma?" The soft voice that called out to him made Kenma instantly jolt awake. He glanced towards the girl beside him that held a concerned look. "H-huh? What was that?" He stammered embarrassed.

"Are you okay? Why are you so tired today?" [Name]'s voice held worry as her eyebrows creased slightly to emphasize her concern.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" She asked as her glowing [E/C] orbs gazed at his yellow ones.

"I- uh- yeah.. but I guess I didn't get enough of it." He averted his gaze away from [Name]'s as her relentless gaze at him made him flustered.

[Name] shot him a look of pity before speaking again, "you need to take care of yourself, Kenma!" Her voice resounded through their surroundings as [Name] went to take ahold of Kenma's hand to persuade him even more.

Kenma jumped at the contact as he pressed his lips shut together to prevent him from letting out a surprised gasp. His panic soon faded out, however when he spots the calming orbs of [Name]'s that gaped at him, shining genuine worry for him as his other hand that was out of [Name]'s sight, went to clutch the Calico cat Keychain that hung from the zipper of his bag.

Kenma, who felt immense joy for her worrying about him, gave her a reassuring smile, pink tinted cheeks adorning his features. "Okay, I will after this" he squeezed [Name]'s hand, looking at [Name] just as intensely, but his eyes shone affection.

It was [Name]'s turn to be flustered. She coughed out awkwardly. She abruptly took his hand from his as he could only look at her confused.

[Name] let out a sudden cough, as she reverted her gaze to the front of the classroom.

"Well.. I'm glad. Please.. get enough sleep next time.." her voice trailed off as she tried to decipher the way Kenma looked at her with such affection. It left the girl confused.

Kenma laughed lightly, amused that he was able to pull out such a reaction from you. He thought you were simply adorably charming.

'Just like a.. bunny? Yes, yes a bunny' At the thought of you resembling the cute animal made Kenma's heart warm with adoration.

'how cute..' he continued his thoughts. As a stray hand went to tuck a hair strand from her face.

This made her even more embarrassed as she hid her face in the palm of her hands to hide the increasing heat added to her cheeks.

"K-Kenma.. please stop, I'm embarrassed!" She plead silently, loud enough for only him the hear.

"Stop what? Why are you embarrassed?" [Name] definitely brings out something within Kenma, because the normal Kenma would not be this flirty and confident.

Maybe the thought that he was able to make her feel the way she made him feel gives him a sense of comfort, reassuring him that there was a chance she liked him too.

When [Name] heard his mockingly playful words, she shot him a glare making him laugh.

"I'm kidding. I'll stop." he surrendered, heartbeat quickening when the subtle pout made its way on to her lips.

You didn't even need to try to make him fall even more for you.

Just when his mind was finally at ease for the moment he was with you, he suddenly remembered the way he almost attempted a crime, which was considering to interfere with your privacy.

Kenma suddenly felt a pang of guilt as the confidence he once held was now replaced with shame, as he slightly hung his head.

The change of demeanor didn't go unnoticed by name. She immediately became concerned once more and was about to ask Kenma what was wrong before Kenma spoke up.

"I think I'm going to catch some sleep as much as I could." Kenma's voice that was once lively (for him) returned back to the dull tone he always spoke with, making the girl disheartened as she liked the way Kenma allowed himself to loosen up.

[Name] simply nodded understanding and let him be.

"Wake me up when the teacher comes okay?" He spoke to [Name], when he received a nod of compliance, he rested his head on top of his hands on the table.

He wanted to escape the dark thoughts that clouded his mind as it only made him feel guilty.

He didn't want to think like that, as he wanted to be someone who could protect [Name], but how could he when the possible danger was him?

As Kenma's eyes fluttered shut, his hand never once left the Calico cat dangling from his bag.