𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚, ᵐᵃᵗᵗʰᵉʷ ˢᵗᵘʳⁿⁱᵒˡᵒ

𝟎𝟏.

𝐤𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭
ʰᵒʷ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ˢʰᵉ?
(𝟎𝟏.)

if i had been doing the math right, i am supposed to be about 14 weeks along. well i wouldn't really know because i was never great at math, but i've been trying to hide it for a month now. which has been relatively easy because it doesn't show at all. i only look a little bloated. i decided that i wasn't going to tell parker which is my evil ex that broke up with me and got me pregnant. great!

parker had been my boyfriend for a whole year before he broke up with me. his 'reason's' for breaking up with me made almost no sense. i suspect that he just wanted to get in my pants, which makes me even more mad because i ended up pregnant. fucking awesome! i was going to do this on my own. although i didn't know if i wanted to give my baby up just yet. i would have to think about that later on, because that was way to much to think about right now.

i mean i'm only eighteen, i don't even feel like a full adult yet. which freaks me out because if i do choose to keep this baby that means i have to throw all of my plans for the future out the window. which really sucks, i was looking forward to getting out of boston and doing something great with my life. like i don't know, doing something meaningful.

i was sitting in my last class of the day, english, watching the clock tik clockwise. i was very eager to get home, i was feeling especially shitty today. i really liked english because it made the most sense to me. which didn't happen most of the time. class was about 20 minutes until the bell rang when i suddenly felt the all too recognizable feeling of morning sickness.

i don't know why they call it 'morning sickness' when that shit hits you whenever the fuck it wants to. like it'll hit at the most random times of the day. which has been the hardest part of hiding all of this from everyone. i stood up quick grabbed my bag which all of my stuff was still in.

and i ran to the nearest bathroom. which wasn't too far from my english class thank god. i slid onto the floor infront of the nearest toilet, feeling the acid build uncomfortably in the back of my throat. it carried all the contents that had previously been in my stomach. i involuntarily spewed vomit from my mouth, it felt as though it wouldn't end. when i finally stopped my body leant against the stall.

i felt like all the life had been thrown up with the rest of my puke. i weakly wiped my arm across my mouth to clean any possible remnants of vomit from my lips. i sat on the floor for a while, reflecting on my life choices. how could i have been so stupid? this was a question i often asked myself, i felt great sorrow when i thought of my actions just weeks before now.

although my urge to puke up everything had subsided, the whirling in my head hadn't gone away. it made me feel like i was spinning and the anxiety rose in my chest as i thought of how it could do it all over again any second. i begrudgingly opened my eyes and decided to text nick, he would be a good distraction.