Never Felt Loved... Until Now <3: A Loved Series

Chapter 1- The Interview

I wake up feeling like today is going to be like every other day; full of boredom, disappointing, and like the day is never going to end. I know I should be excited because I have an interview this afternoon for my dream job as a fifth grade teacher at a local elementary school. It is just somehow I cannot shake this feeling as though as soon as I set foot out my childhood room that I am just going to be judged again. I sometimes wish that I was thinner, because it seems as though no matter what I accomplish it is never good enough for my family. I graduated college with a decent 3.5 GPA, good recommendations, and with an interview for an actual real life job. Yet it still is not good enough for my family to accept and love me as I am.

Rolling my eyes I get up from my bed and look at myself in my full length mirror, and of course I start judging everything about myself. I see my stomach and avert my eyes down to my thighs. Then I look at my big ass, and small chest and think I still am not pretty no matter how hard I wish I am. I then look at my hair and think how it could use a cut and color soon, as that is one of very few things I have control of over my body nowadays. I frown at my reflection and heave a big sigh, as I continue to pick out my outfit for my interview today. As I am looking through my closet I decide to cover up as much as possible. I pick out my favorite top, a flowy tank top in an array of colors of pink, purple, and orange. It reminds me of a sunset every time I look at it, and that makes me feel a little better. I pair it with my grey professional slacks. Then grab my black professional round toed, boring heels.

After laying out my clothes I open my door and run into my bathroom as quiet as possible and take a quick five minute shower. I dry off and put on my night gown and start curling my hair. After using my favorite curling wand i run my fingers through my hair to loosen up the waves in my hair, and spray it with my hair spray. After brushing my teeth, I finish doing my make up going for natural look of only foundation, powder, mascara, and blush. I look at myself and mutter "that's the best it's going to get today", sighing I leave my bathroom and race back into my room to get dressed. I throw on my clothes, put on my favorite pumpkin and cinnamon perfume, then grab my purse and cell phone and head down stairs. I see that I am home alone and proceed to feel as though this day might just end up being a good one in the end. As I am powering up my cell phone I make myself a cup of coffee and turn on some country music. I hear my cell ding with a text and see my sister from another mister Samantha has texted me good luck for today, 'hey girl, you got this you are going to rock your interview today'. Smiling to myself and thinking I have the greatest friend in the world. I reply, ' Thanks for your vote of confidence, but you know me I always screw up everything'.

I continue to grab my coffee as I am dancing to one of my favorite songs, take your time by Sam Hunt. God I love this song I think to myself as I hear another text come in on my phone Samantha goes all best friend mode on me, 'Emry Hope Ash, you need to stop being so pessimistic about your life. I know you struggle with accepting how amazing you are, but you know you are going to rock this interview. Then you will finally have your dream job of teaching! Now shut up and meet me for lunch at the cafe for lunch. Love you!' Shaking my head and smiling i reply ' alright see you late, and love you too boo boo!'. Looking at the time I notice I only have a half hour before my interview, so I pick up my phone and bag, grab my keys and walk out the door to get in my car. I open my door to my 1999 yellow bug and get settled for the ten minute drive to the school down the street.

I make it to Spirit Edge Elementary fifteen minutes early, and decide it is better to be early rather than late. I grab my resume, bag, and keys, lock my car, and walk into the main office of the school. I see the open spacious front office and stand at the counter waiting for one of the office ladies to stop talking and notice me standing there. Finally one spots me, smiles, and roll over in her chair towards me. "Hi sweetie, how can I help you today?" All I can smell is her over powering flowery perfume that makes me want to gag a little. Other than that she seems like a nice lady, "Hello my name is Emry, I am here for an interview with Mrs. Blake at noon". She smiles at me "Oh yes, hi my name is Jen Cook I am the front office attendant, please have a seat over there and I will let Mrs. Blake know that you are here." She point's over to the row of old plastic chairs in the corner of the opposite wall and walks around the corner. I sit down and begin to get really nervous, and start moving my leg up and down like I always do when I am agitated. No more than thirty seconds go by when I see a tall, thin, beautiful women in her early thirties walks up to me. I stand and look her in the eye, and shake her hand that she has extended out to me. She smiles and says "Good afternoon you must be Emry Ash, it is so nice to finally meet you. Please follow me back into my office and we will get started right away." Smiling back I follow her around the corner and into her office which is fairly spacious and is well decorated.

Sitting down I pull out my resume and hand it to Mrs. Blake. She proceeds to look at my resume and then sets it aside and leans forward with a smile on her face. "Please Emry, tell me why you want to be an elementary teacher." I think for a moment then go on auto pilot. "Well as long as I can remember I have always been good with kids, and loved working with kids. And it was when I was in high school that I really noticed how good teachers can have a big impact on a child's life, as my Business and Marketing teacher, and English teacher were big influences in my own life. And I thought that if I could at least make a difference in one child's life and help them along the way in their education, than I was making a difference in someone else's life." She doesn't speak for a moment just smiles, "Well I am glad to hear that. I already looked over you resume that you first sent in to my e-mail, and I called your references, and let me just tell you, you will be a wonderful asset to this school." I look up at her in shock, "you mean I got the job? Just like that?" "Yes, I want you working here, I think you are going to make an excellent teacher. If you could just fill out this paperwork then we will be done for today." "Yes, of course not a problem." I fill out the paperwork, and hand them back to Mrs. Blake. I stand up to leave, shake her hand smiling. "Thank you so much for believing in me Mrs. Blake you will not regret this at all." "Oh I know you are going to be wonderful working with your new fifth grade class starting in a couple months. Go and enjoy the rest of your summer break. Just be back here in two weeks for orientation, and your room assignment. Oh and you will meet the rest of the faculty then too." "Thank you again, and I will see you in two weeks." As I am walking back into the office I am congratulated by Jen the front office attendant on getting the job. I thank her and head out to my car smiling from ear to ear, thinking there is no way this that today can get any worse from here on out.

I head over to mine and Samantha's favorite little cafe in downtown Seattle, Espresso Espresso. I walk in smell my favorite scent, freshly made coffee. I inhale that rich aroma and I automatically perk up a little bit; looking around I spot Sam at a table in the corner and walk over. "Hey Sam, how are you?" "Oh you don't care, shut the hell up and tell me about how your interview went!" I look down at the floor, then look up smiling. "It went amazingly well, I actually got offered the job. And I start orientation in two week!" "Oh my god I told you, you would rock that interview. See once you were not being so pessimistic you were able to shine in the interview." "Well in my head I was pessimistic, but I guess I just didn't show it well." Shrugging I look around at all the people drinking coffee, some alone, some with friends, and others with their husbands or boyfriends. Thinking how I wish I could find someone that would love me for me, and not see the overweight girl that is always judged by her family. I sigh and look at my best friend who has that look on her face, you know the one saying ' I feel so bad for my friend, who thinks she isn't good enough when she really is great.' "Would you stop looking at me like that Sam?" "Like what? I don't know what your talking about Emry." "Yes you do, the look of how you feel sorry for me, but still love me. It is so annoying, I know you love me and I love you too. You are the sister I never had, but if you keep looking at me like that I might just shank you with my butter knife here." I gesture with my butter knife, trying to keep a straight face, and end up busting up laughing, and Sam laughs right along with me.

"Okay fair enough Em, hey why don't we go out and celebrate tonight. You know go to that newer bar that I have been dying to go to?" "What Ford? The old school, trendy bar? I will so not fit in there, you know that!" "Oh shut up, come over to my place, and we will get ready together and make you totally hot! Who knows maybe you will meet someone there." I roll my eyes, "Yeah because that is so going to happen, you know I go out and all the guys either just stare at me judging, or actually make jokes straight to my face. You know I can only take so much!" sighing Sam takes my hand " I know, but you never know if the one is going to show up tonight, see you, and fall in love with those big, bright, blue eyes of yours." "You are not going to give up are you?" "Hell no, you know me better than that." Shaking my head I smile. "Okay, fine I give in I will go tonight and we will celebrate, but the second I feel like all that is happening is people judging me, I am so out of there. Deal?" "Deal, come on lets order our lunch so I can get back to work." Smiling I think to myself maybe, Sam is right. Maybe tonight might just be my lucky night, who knows today is already going great so far. Why not push luck some more?

Author's Note:

Thank you in advance to whoever is wanting to read my book. I am new to this, but excited to write something that I have always wanted to write. Please if you have any comments, on something you want to see. Or you have suggestions about something that might make the story interesting, let me know so I can take it into consideration. I plan to upload a new chapter or two tomorrow evening, so please stay tuned!! Things are about to get interesting in Emry's life!