Unwanted (bxb)

Chapter 12

Cole's POV

I thought I was going to explode just then. Each of my nerves had awakened with a burning, unsettling intensity. My anger grew as I walked over to my friends.

Why the hell had I kissed him? Why did I kiss a guy? Was I gay? Bi? Pan? Why did I like it? Why had I entered his game? Since when did I let a guy get me so hot without me taking the reins? The answer to all these questions had six letters: Justin.

Since I'd seen him tonight, I hadn't been able to get him out of my head. I didn't know if it was the attraction of the forbidden, since he was my stepbrother, or if I needed to somehow feel like I could control him, put out that fire that kept shooting out of his mouth and make him act like all the other people I'd known and managed to control.

But Justin was completely different from all of them. He didn't throw hisself at my feet, he didn't get weak in the knees when he looked at me, he didn't back down when I challenged him, no — he'd answer back, and his reactions were fiercer than mine. It was exasperating... and exciting at the same time. Mentally, I couldn't stop telling myself that he was an unbearable, whiny little bitch, and that I should ignore him, but my body was betraying me, and I didn't know what the hell to do. I'd kissed him! I'd offered to do it not because I gave a damn about him getting revenge on his ex-girlfriend or wanted him out of the party; it was just pure desire. I wanted to taste him, to feel him. As soon as I saw him that night, I wanted to get between his legs and make him mine. It was uncomfortable, hellishly uncomfortable, and frustrating, especially since I couldn't stand him. Why did he have to be so goddamn attractive?

He was shirtless which left much to excite me. He was daring anyone to reach out and touch them, to kiss him. His abs drove me wild, especially when he was drinking and the contents were coming out of his mouth, which was flushed from the alcohol. But more exciting still were his lips: soft as velvet and sharp as steel when he wanted to say something wounding. He'd driven me crazy when he'd opened his mouth, when his tongue had interwoven with mine without shame, without hesitation. It was nothing like any other girl I'd kissed before. He'd followed my rhythm, let me take control, and I'd bitten his lip from pure carnal desire because I'd wanted to consume him but also let him know who was in charge.

"That's it?" he'd asked me, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with longing. What the fuck did he want me to do, though? If he wasn't who he was, I'd have taken him straight to the back seat of my car. If he wasn't so damn hard to put up with, I'd have given him the best night of his life. If he wasn't... if he wasn't turning my whole world upside down...

"Dude, where were you? The first race is about to begin!" Logan shouted from the place where he'd parked my black Ferrari next to my enemy's souped-up Audi.

That was exactly what I needed. Discharging all that built-up tension at 170 miles per hour down a sand track in the middle of the night and leaving one of the losers from Aggie's gang in the dust. I needed to blow off steam, feel the adrenaline — adrenaline was better than desire, better than knowing that I wouldn't have the one thing I really wanted that night...

"Tell Kyle I've got this one," I said, walking over to the car. My friends were waiting for me, having fun before the flag came down, drinking, dancing, in a good mood because they assumed we'd take the night's prize money. That was the deal. Fifteen thousand dollars was on the line, plus the loser's car in the final. I'd been putting off a race against Aggie for too long. Not because I feared losing — anything but. The problem was that he was a thug and a bad sport. Every year, the pot got bigger, and every year, there was more tension between our two gangs. He'd made it evident what would happen if things got out of hand. Everyone here knew the rules.