Unwanted (bxb)

Chapter 18

Cole's POV

I was light-headed as I left him there. I didn't think any guy had ever affected me as much as Justin has. That was nice, but it also irked me. I'd always liked having control over everything, especially with the people around me. I always knew how they'd react. I always knew they'd want me. But Justin was different. All you had to do was look at him to see he was the opposite of the people I'd grown up with and those I surrounded myself with now. I still couldn't understand how, with the chance to blow my father's money, he kept insisting on wearing simple clothes or driving that dangerous piece of shit. He was even looking for a job. I couldn't stop trying to figure him out. Beyond that, there was the physical attraction I felt for him. Every time he was in front of me, I wanted to kiss and caress him.
I had done it when I was drunk, not knowing what I was doing, and now all I could think about was repeating the experience. That was why he was here with me that night. I had been about to kiss him when Jenna and Logan had shown up. I'd planned on spending the whole night with him.

What the hell did a fight matter when I could be kissing those lips?

It was funny to see how he reacted when I touched him. I almost lost control that first night, hearing those soft moans come from him as we kissed. And there we were again, and I was asking myself why the hell I'd invited him to watch me going to town on one of the biggest idiots I'd ever met. His face had been horrified when he found out what we were up to. Still, it was nice to see him there. And funny because he didn't fit in one bit.

I walked off into the abandoned building we used for those events. Fights had been a part of my life ever since I met Logan. He was talented, and I'd learned almost everything he knew. My fury might have been more intense than his, though, and that was why almost no one ever beat me. I had an easy time finishing most of my opponents. When I was fighting, all my senses were focused on winning, nothing else mattered — and that helped me center myself, get rid of all the shit I was carrying around inside. Today, I needed it especially: I was torn up after my last visit with my brother, even more so when I found out he'd be on his own a whole week while his parents took off for Barbados. I couldn't understand how a parent could just abandon their first child without any sort of remorse and then do the same thing all over again with a young son... It drove me crazy.

It could get dangerous if you didn't watch out, so I usually just showed up, won my fight, got the money, and left. Most people hung around for the afterparty, which was full of drugs and alcohol.

I wasn't into that, and I kept a cool head as I took off my shirt and entered the ring.

Greg was a big guy, a gym rat, and we'd never gotten along. Before I showed up, everyone had him up on a pedestal, and when he fought me, he gave it his all. His weak point was his technique; he was all brute strength, and I'd never had much trouble slipping his punches. A.J. was a whole different story. He and Logan had history. Once A.J. tried to rape Jenna at a club. Thank God I had been there with her and gotten rid of him before things could go south. Logan hadn't known Jenna then, but when they'd started going out and she had told him, he had nearly beaten A.J. to death.

Everybody was gathered around the ring. Bets were live, and that would only make the crowd shout and whistle louder. I started jumping in place, trying to warm up, while Greg entered from the opposite end. He gave me a hateful, bloodthirsty look, and I had to try not to smile, knowing in ten minutes I'd be done with him.

The guy in charge of the money shouted my name and Greg's, and a minute later, the fun started. Greg had a bad habit: he threw haymakers right from the bell, and he always got tired early. You just needed to know how to wait to attack. The first time I lurched forward, I landed a body blow. Everyone shouted wildly afterward when he bent over and I kneed him in the nose. The adrenaline had kicked in, and I felt capable of doing anything. Greg recovered and tried to hit me again, this time in the face. I smiled as I dodged it and got him in the right eye.

It was a stiff one, and he fell to the floor, which gave me the opportunity to kick him again, but what was the fun in kicking a man when he was down? Greg got back up, danced around, shoved me, grazed my right cheek. But I fired back with a punch that left him flat on his back, and this time, he couldn't get up.

The victory of it all did me good. I was glad to know I had the strength to get the finish.

Everyone was shouting my name, and people pressed in around the ring trying to reach me. But I jumped out and went straight to get my prize money. The purse was five grand, and once I'd stuffed it into my jeans, I went to look for Logan. He was in the last row with Jenna and a group of friends, getting ready for his grand entrance. It was more relaxed there than in the front. Nobody there was pushing or shoving.

My heart sped up involuntarily when I reached them and saw Justin was gone. I looked around and couldn't see him anywhere.

"Where is he?" I asked Logan, my body tensing up again.

"It was too much for him. When he saw you get hit, he went outside," Jenna said.

"I'm going to go find him. Jenna, you stay with the guys."

When I found him, Justin was sitting against the wall by the door staring into space.. I didn't like the expression on his face. I threw on my T-shirt as I got closer. His eyes focused first on my torso and then on the small cut on my face.

"What are you doing here?" I said, a little disappointed that he hadn't seen me finish my opponent.

He stood up, looking annoyed... and sad.

"What you are doing in there... It's not for me."

I guessed he was scared. I hadn't thought about if it would affect him so much. Any other person would have seen what I'd done and throw themselves into my arms, but Justin...

"Fights aren't your thing, I get it," I said, and tried to be gentle as I put my arm around his neck. Justin was like someone from another planet: there were times he was hard as a rock, not hesitating to punch me square in the face, but then he could be so small and fragile that I couldn't resist the urge to take him into my arms.

I rubbed circles on his back, and he looked up, about to say something, I thought, but before he could, I bent over to kiss him and pull him into me.

He melted in my arms, just as I wished. I liked feeling how his body reacted when I touched him. His fingers sank into my damp hair, and I had to struggle to not touch him all over.

When I pulled away a moment later, he looked at my cut and ran his fingers over the swelling.
That soft but significant caress made me feel something strange inside.

"I hated every second you were up there," he said. I knew he was telling the truth. Justin cared about me, and that was something so strange and so new that it took me aback.

"This is who I am, Justin," I said, letting him go.

"Why do you do it, though? I don't understand.
You've got more than enough money, you don't need it —"

"Logan does though," I cut him off, on the defensive now.

He seemed to grasp that, but still, I felt I needed to add something.

"I don't do it just for the money. I like to fight. I like to know I can stop the person in front of me. That I have control of the situation. I can tell what you're getting at, but if you think I'm going to stop doing these things just because you and I —"

"Because you and I what?" he interrupted me.
"What's the end of that sentence?"

I couldn't answer that question. I didn't even know what was happening. I just knew it was a mistake. Justin was a simple guy, the kind you'd want to bring home to your parents and that just wasn't me. The mere thought of it was ridiculous. But the problem was all my misgivings vanished when I had him close. I knew I shouldn't kiss him, touch him... but I couldn't help it. He was right: I was the one who was looking for him.

"It's fine, preppy, you don't have say anything. I know who you are. I'm not going to expect anything more from you than what we have right now."

I turned around and went back inside to watch
Logan's fight.

What did he mean, he knew who I was? I didn't like the sound of it. I felt gripped by anger, but I couldn't say exactly why.