Mafia Leader (Part 2)

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I haven't seen Nikolai since I kissed him.

Last week.

That's not entirely my fault, though. He had an emergency that needed him all the way in Alaska. He came into my room the day after. I was doing practice problems for my physics 2 class and he was in a rush. He left with the promise that we're talking when he gets back and a quick kiss to the top of my head. I don't know when he's coming back but I haven't heard from him and I won't be reaching out.

I'm currently sitting on the floor in the living room. I'm leaning against the wall that juts out by the window, accidentally creating a little nook. It's not the most comfortable but I love the view this window gives me. I called Hayden because I can't sleep and neither can she.

"My stuff got here the day after he left. I unpacked it all but I don't think they grabbed everything. I have a handful of things missing," I tell her.

"Well does Nikolai have a heating pad?"

I'm on my period and I already took three Ibuprofen pills. I can still feel my cramps. I'm not in excruciating pain but they're definitely still painful.

I tense up as they start up again. "Um, I don't know. He's not here, remember?"

She goes silent on the other end. She doesn't like that I kissed him. I don't like it either, it complicates things.

"Where did he say he was going, again?"

I hold my breath and close my eyes as I wait for the pain to pass. Hayden waits, understanding why I'm not answering. I've been dealing with periods like this since I got my first one.

I let out a breath when it fades.

"Alaska," I get out, "He's in Alaska."

"Ask him if he has one."

"Hayden, I'd rather die of this pain than text him."

"I still can't believe you kissed him." She chuckles. She was shocked and pissed when I told her but now she's calmed down.

I smile as I stare down at New York at night. "Yeah I'm never smoking with him again."

She laughs, making me chuckle. "You get so reckless when you're high."

"I know. It's why I usually only do it with you."

"You're so funny." She chuckles. "What were you even thinking?"

I sigh, "I was thinking that he looked so good high and his lips look soft and, next thing I know, I'm fusing our lips together."

She laughs again, "Was it any good?"

I adjust the blanket I put over my legs, not wanting to answer this question. "Does it matter?"

"Uh, yeah. You've always said he's attractive but you'd never act on it. Now you've acted on it and I want to know if it was worth it."

I lean my head back against the wall. "Honestly, it was so worth it. He's a really good kisser."

She's quiet.

"Hayden, I can feel you judging me."

"I'm not judging!" She defends, "I'm just... taking it in."

"Yeah, that's Hayden for 'I'm judging you.'"

"Can I be surprised, Julie? Is that alright with you?"

I laugh, "Be whatever you want, just tell me what to do."

"Talk to him," She says, "Tell him everything you've been telling me and see what happens."

I tense up as a new wave of cramps begins to move in. "I thought you were against this?"

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