Chapter 36

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I sat in the hallway and waited for either Mandy or Max to come out of the office and let me know what was discussed. My heart pounded hard in my chest, and I couldn't help but be worried, wondering if for some reason that Caden had changed his mind and was going to send Mandy back to the pack with her father.

Please don't let him influence her decision, I silently prayed while I played with the hem of my shirt. Please. She needs to be comfortable wherever she goes.

"Carley?" someone asked from my left, and I looked that way, startled while my other hand reached for my staff to defend myself. "Are you ok?"

The person chuckled, and I relaxed when I noticed that it was John. "I am sorry," he said and dipped his head. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I shrugged and let go of my staff while he walked towards me. "It's ok," I replied. "I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, so it's my fault."

"Hmph," he said and leaned on the opposite side of the wall. He cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow. "How are you?" he asked while he dipped his head.

I shrugged and grimaced while I relaxed slightly because I knew that I was safe. "I'm nervous," I replied, honestly.

"About what is going to happen with Mandy?" John asked, and I hesitated before I nodded. "Why?"

I bit back a small sigh and moved a hand through my hair before I shook my head and cleared my throat. "Because I am worried that he will try to convince her to do something that she doesn't want to do."

"They won't push her to do anything that she doesn't want to do," John said. "Caden will not do that to her nor to you. He knows that you are protective of her and want this part of her life to be transitioned smoothly."

I stayed silent and nodded because that was what I wanted to happen.

John cleared his throat while he moved a little closer to me. "Are you worried that something bad will happen to her if she leaves with him?" he asked.

I bit back a small sigh before I shook my head no because I was not worried that something bad would happen to her if she went with him.

Even I knew that she would be safe with him...

(04/23/2023)

"Well?" he asked, and I had a feeling that he wanted me to verbally verify what I said.

"No," I said, finally, before I cleared my throat again while I shifted again. "I know that he will protect her and make sure that she stays safe. I am not worried about that at all."

John nodded and stayed silent.

"Hey, John?" I asked and cocked my head while I studied him, a plan forming in my brain.

"Yes?" John asked and raised an eyebrow. "What is it?" Concern filled his voice while he studied me, but I made sure to keep my face neutral while I looked at him.

"Why did Caden ask me to step out while he and Henry talked with Mandy? They knew that she was nervous to be alone with them."

John stayed silent while he studied me. His heart didn't skip a beat like I thought it would, and he didn't seem to be nervous.

He expected me to ask...

"Will you accept my response if I say that it doesn't concern you?" he asked.

"No," I replied and shook my head. "I already know that it doesn't "concern" me, but her health and safety does. She is under my care and protection."

John shifted a little before he cleared his throat and bit back a sigh. "Because of what you two have been through?" he asked softly and raised an eyebrow.

"Because of what all of us had to go through," I replied. I cleared my throat and shifted until I was able to get comfortable. "I know that her life has been hard at the orphanage, even though to me it was "perfect,"" I said. "She had food and was able to eat, but there were times when I could hear her mother yelling at her about her weight and all, creating her to have low self-esteem.

When her mother was done and left, Mandy would cry or try to hold herself together. Most of the time, she didn't know that I was able to hear what was said, so when I would walk in, she would stop crying and be rude to me instead."

"Why?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"Because she didn't want me to see her upset," I replied. "I don't know why because I never asked, but after a few rounds of insults that I could really care less about, she would cry with me sitting beside her before she got up and walked away after she felt "better.""

"Did she hug you or put her head on your shoulder?"

I shook my head no. "When we had that time in the bathroom, that was the second time we ever hugged. The first time I hugged her to comfort her, she shoved me away and punched me in the nose. It bled but didn't break."

"Then why did you still go over there to comfort her if she treated you like shit?"

"Because if not me then who?" I asked. "She didn't like the other girls to know that she was weak. There were times when I knew that she yelled at them to get away from her if she was about to have a mental breakdown, and they left. However, I didn't and didn't care about the insults she threw at me. It hurt, but I knew that she didn't mean it."

"You're a strong female," John said, and I shrugged and gripped my staff tighter.

"Not that strong," I admitted while I looked down at my legs and cleared my throat. "I have a lot of baggage that I keep hidden and have my feelings under tight wraps. It's not a healthy coping mechanism, but it's all I have."

John slowly nodded. "You said that you were going to talk about your feelings to someone so that your group would have the courage to do it too, yes?" he asked and raised an eyebrow, and I pressed my lips into a thin line. "Well?" he asked after a moment's pause.

I sighed before I nodded and cleared my throat. "Yes," I replied. "I was going to talk about my feelings to someone that can "help" me process what's happened to me."

"You can also talk to me," John said, "about anything that is going through your mind and how you are feeling. If you need advice, I will give you advice. However, if you want to vent and just need someone there, then I will be there for you. I promise."

My heart grew slightly warmer when he said that, and I slowly nodded. "Thank you," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I do appreciate it."

"Can I give you a hug?"

I hesitated before I slowly nodded. "Please," I said and stood, my heart pounding hard in my chest, and he stood too.

He walked over to me and gave me a hug, and my whole body grew tense before I relaxed and hugged him back.

My bottom lip quivered, but I held back the tears that wanted to fall because I felt the comfort and the peace he gave me, something that I craved as a child and more so as a teen that had never gotten it nor thought about getting it.

"I am proud of you, Carley," he said, his voice barely above a whisper before he placed a soft kiss onto the side of my head. "I don't know if you have ever heard that before or not, but I want you to know that I am proud of you."

I squeezed my eyes tighter together to keep myself from crying and cleared my throat when it clogged. "Thank you," I said, my voice barely above a whisper while it shook. "Thank you."

"Always, Carley. Always."

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