meant to be • adam banks

chapter twenty three

ella

"So he cheated on you?"

The question that Adam's asked me three or four times now. The question that I don't even want to begin to try and answer. The question that makes it real.

"Ella, are you listening?"

"What?" Suddenly I snap out of whatever trance I was in and focus on Adam's concerned face. "Yeah, I am. Sorry, I spaced out for a second."

He lets out a quiet scoff, but there's a small smile in his expression. "No kidding."

I hold the urge to roll my eyes, even though I know he means well. I'm not going to ruin the first real conversation we've had in months over something so stupid, especially when he's trying to help me. As awkward as this is, I know I won't get anywhere if I'm rude.

After there's a few seconds of silence, I look up at Adam and try to ignore the tears that have begun to well in my eyes. "I should've seen this coming, to be honest. It's almost like this is my karma."

"What the hell do you mean?" Adam asks, his voice wary. "Ella, you haven't done anything wrong at all. This isn't your fault."

"Is it though?" I counter, the tears spilling over. "Half the reason we didn't speak in ninth grade was my fault, because I overreacted about you and Maya. Then I used Alex to get back at you and somehow neither of you ended up hating me. And after we broke up last summer, I used Alex to get back at you again, even though this time I genuinely fell for him, knowing it would never last anyway because of how I've always felt about you. So yes Adam, this is my karma for creating some sort of fucked up love triangle where I've spent the last three years hurting both you and Alex in one way or another.

As I realize the absolute word vomit I just spit out, I cover my hands in embarrassment and turn away from the boy who's standing a few feet away from me. Honestly, I shouldn't be as shocked as I am that this happened, considering every time I'm alone with Adam I end up rambling about something that's gone wrong.

There's a shift in the weight of the mattress as Adam comes and sits next to me, although I don't see it because I'm still facing away from him. I feel my hands being removed from my face, and I'm suddenly looking back at Adam as he takes my hands in his.

"Listen to me." he says sternly. "This is not your karma. You didn't deserve to have this happen to you, okay? We've all made tons of mistakes in our lives Ella! Hell, I've basically dragged you through the mud with me these past few years and somehow you're still acknowledging that I exist. This isn't a reflection of you or anything to do with your past, which honestly isn't even that bad. Don't blame yourself for someone else's fuck-up."

I just nod silently, then stand up and walk out of his room. Yes, I know it looks rude. But right now, he's not in the right state of mind and frankly, neither am I. I just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me and he's been smoking, so it's probably better that I left without saying anything.

I make my way downstairs and out the back door, where I come face to face with the Ducks, who are staring at me curiously. I'm sure they've got tons of scenarios going through their minds, considering I came into the backyard out of nowhere and ran directly to Adam, who then took me inside for a while. Whatever they were thinking though, I can almost guarantee they're not thinking it anymore.

Thank goodness for Connie, because she finally speaks up and breaks the silence. "Ella, are you okay?"

"Not really." I say through a sigh, as tears start to well up in my eyes again. "Alex cheated on me, and he's at my house right now so I can't exactly go back. I don't even know why I'm here to be honest. It's not like I couldn't have gone to Sadie or Morgan's house, even though I'm probably not in the best state to be driving right now."

"Oh Ella..." Connie responds, rushing over to me and wrapping me in a hug. "I'm so sorry honey. I'm so, so sorry."

As I sink into her arms, I look up and notice that Guy is giving what looks like a disciplinary shove to Averman. When Guy realizes I'm watching, he blurts out, "Averman and Goldberg were joking when you first got here that you only came over here for... you know, but now they've just realized that's not actually the case so on behalf of them I'm sorry."

"Why would you say that?" Goldberg demands, leaning over Averman and shoving Guy. "You couldn't just let it go after she said why she was here? You're a real snitch, man."

"Fuck you Goldberg, I'm not a snitch." Guy fires back, along with a shove back to him. "She trusted us enough to become really vulnerable and you were sitting there making jokes with Averman. Sorry that I wasn't going to put up with it and told her exactly what the fuck you were doing."

"So you're basically a snitch." Goldberg mutters under his breath, to which Guy rolls his eyes at and turns away. It's obvious that both of them think they're in the right, especially even more so that they've both been smoking for who knows how long.

I look at Connie, who has an apologetic look on her face, and give her a weak smile. "So, should I brave it and go back to my house? Or do I cave and go anywhere but there... or here, for that matter?"

"I'm more than happy to drive you anywhere you need." Adam's voice comes suddenly from behind me, as he steps forward from behind me and joins Connie and I. "It's the least I could do."

"Thank you, but no." I answer politely, trying to ignore the slight disappointment that flashed across his face. "You've been smoking Adam. And you should know by now that I won't ever take that risk after what happened to Declan. I just can't. I do appreciate the offer, but no thank you."

Instead of answering me, he silently nods and goes back to the group. I watch closely as he sits down next to Dean and grabs the joint from his hand, bringing it to his lips and taking a long drag from it. I swallow the frustration I feel and turn away, knowing once again that his words are always just too good to be true.

Connie, the angel that she is, sits with me until Morgan pulls up in front of Adam's house. Sadie is in the passenger seat as well, which makes me feel a little bit better. I give Connie one last hug before I walk to the car and get in, staring out into the distance as Morgan drives away from all that's been leaving me broken.

By this point, I know Alex has left my house. My mom texted me to let me know, on the off chance I wanted to come home for the night, but she knows I need to be away for now. That, and as Morgan passed his house, the light in his room was on. A telltale sign if I've ever seen one. As Morgan turns onto her street from mine, the light from Alex's house gets farther and farther until it eventually fades into nothingness.

Just like the endings to my favorite books, the relationship ultimately fails. It may tug at your heartstrings to know it didn't work, but in the end it's a lesson learned. And that's exactly what my relationship with Alex was.

A lesson, and a very valuable lesson at that.

**a/n**
hi everyone!! i'm so glad to be back you have no idea. things in life have just been so crazy but i couldn't not end this story, especially now that i've gotten over my writers block and i know where the story is ultimately going. i appreciate you if you're still here and i promise ill update more frequently. things are changing for the better... or worse... depending on how you view it😁