HeartLESS (Fransykes)

4. You can't wait to up and leave

CW: Angst, feelings and worries about how others react to sexuality, rehashing emotions around the previous animal death stuff.

Oli's POV:

Jordan leaves me with Roxy for a good thirty minutes before he comes back in to get her. He and Lee are silent as they scoop her from my arms and though I'm reluctant to let her go, I know I can't hold her forever.

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off, Oli?" Jordan tells me once Lee's taken her outside.

"No, I'm fine," I sniff loudly. "We need to figure out what to do about Max anyway."

Jordan sighs and swipes his hand through his hair before turning to the sleeping pup and shaking his head.

"He'll be fine tonight," Jordan replies. "Go and rest, please Oli?"

I lift my sore eyes to meet his and sigh deeply. He's not going to let me stay and I nod at him with a weak smile.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow morning. I'm in the shop after lunch though."

"Yeah no problem," Jordan gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze of affection. "You know I appreciate all you do for us."

I give him another nod and turn to Luna, patting my thigh. She opens her eyes and gives her tail a single thump, waiting for my second signal.

"C'mon girl!" I call cheerily and she bounds over to me excitedly.

Though the weight of Roxy's passing still lies heavy in my chest, I know I have to be strong for Luna. I attach her harness and leash and head towards the main door. Ali already has the treat jar open as we pass the reception desk and I return her smile and wave politely as I take a couple of treats for Luna and say goodbye.

Before I head home, I decide to take Luna to the field for a run. As before, it's still almost empty so I let her off her leash and perch on the same bench. She runs off and brings me a stick which I toss for her a couple of times, trying to tear my thoughts away from the events of today. It's about two in the afternoon now and my head aches, still tight from the tears and the anxiety. Jordan was right to send me home, especially since he didn't know about the panic attacks and I know I'm going to need to take it easy for the rest of the day.

I glance up at Luna who is entertaining herself and I take the opportunity to check my phone. Despite my internal sadness, a smile creeps across my face at the messages I've received from Josh and I giggle again. My god, he's fucking adorable! Seems like he's as insecure about this whole 'thing' - whatever it is - as I am too, but it's sweet and endearing.

Josh, 26:

I completely get all of that. I tend to get into my own head about stuff too but your strength shows so much and I'm glad you're willing to take risks. That's such a big step to make! So, I was thinking... my band are playing another gig this weekend at The Lion's Head on Greenwood Street if you want to come and see us play? Absolutely no pressure for anything else, but I'd like to buy you a coke or whatever you want to drink afterwards if you'll let me? Either way, the guys and I would love the support. We're starting around 7pm for about an hour, so yeah, let me know? X

Another message followed, the time stamp around ten minutes later.

Josh, 26:

Absolutely okay if you're not ready for that either. I know it's really fast and I will back off if you want me to. Just let me know either way. Sorry for double texting, I know you're probably busy. I'm gonna be heading off to work myself around five this evening x

I muse to myself briefly. The Lion's Head is a nice little place. Quiet with a small performance space. I've seen a few local stand-up comedy acts there and they do nice bar food too. I twist my bottom lip between my fingers as I ponder the logistics. He said this weekend, which is likely to be Saturday, right? But we started talking yesterday and he said he'd just come back from a gig and that was a Sunday. I'll clarify.