HeartLESS (Fransykes)

8. If you think you'll ever take it back

CW: Intrusive thoughts, anxiety, alcohol abuse, nausea and vomiting, hangover symptoms

Oli's POV

My heart is still racing as I close the door behind me as quietly as I can. I take a moment to catch my breath, clutching my keys tightly between my fingers and lean back against the closed door, letting my eyes drift closed and replaying the scene that happened just moments ago, on the other side of this same door, over and over again. My stomach somersaults as if I can feel Josh's soft lips against mine, his large hands tangling in my hair, the wetness on the tips of my fingers...

Wait... what?!

My brows furrow as my eyes flicker open again, falling to my hands and spotting Luna licking at them for my attention.

"Fuck's sake, Luna!" I chuckle as I scratch at her head before flicking my gaze up to the doorway where Mat is leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, a questioning smirk plastered across his face.

"And you can fuck off too!" I roll my eyes playfully at him, but the grin and accompanying blush on my face gives me away.

"No fucking chance, mate!" Mat chortles. "I haven't seen you smile like that in ages, come and tell me everything!"

I let out a loud sigh, but I'm so giddy and I actually find myself wanting to share everything with Mat, so I follow him to the living room and once we're settled on the sofa and Luna is calmer, I spill everything. How everything felt so natural with Josh almost from the moment we started talking, the way he made me laugh until I was almost crying, the outrageous flirting and compliments, all the way to him insisting on driving me home and walking me to the door.

"So, he walked you to the door and that was it?!" Mat asks incredulously.

I bite my lip but my cheeks are already lighting up like a beacon as I shake my head shyly.

"Well, no..." I begin, searching Mat's face for any sign that I'm going too far, but finding only eagerness to hear more. "He sort of kissed me..."

"Sort of?" Mat squeals. "What the fuck does that mean?!"

"Well, he kind of just kissed me here," I pause pointing to the corner of my mouth. "And then he headed back to his car, so I went to open the door. But then I heard a noise, so I turned to look and he was back again. And then he really kissed me!"

Mat is still watching me like a hawk, his jaw hanging open with an eager grin.

"And?!" Mat bounces, desperate for the juiciest details.

I close my eyes and sigh dreamily, leaning back against the sofa.

"Fuck, it was everything I needed! Everything that's happened this week just slipped away in that moment. I've never felt so much from a first kiss with anyone before. Christ, I must sound like a fucking idiot, but I swear, everything was just... perfect!"

I let out another deep sigh and my eyes flicker open again, falling to Mat once more. He's grinning wildly at me still, but it's genuine and not teasing at all.

"Wow, you've found yourself a keeper, mate!"

"We'll see," I shrug. "I don't want to get ahead of myself just yet."

"I think you're too late already," Mat jokes, nudging me with his elbow. "But honestly, I'm really fucking happy for you."

I smile gratefully back at Mat. He's right though. Josh has made me happier in just a few short hours than I have been in months. Maybe it's just because it's new and it's been a while, but it feels good and I want to hold on to it as long as I can.