HeartLESS (Fransykes)

16. My heart is just a mess

CW: Heartache and longing, plus a bit of arguing between people later on (NOT Oli and Josh - They're good - for now >:-) haha).

Oli's POV

He loves me.

He fucking loves me!

I can't stop smiling as I hold Josh on my lap, stealing little kisses whenever I get the urge - which - to be fair, is a lot.

Not that anyone could blame me. I mean, just look at him! And he's in love with me! Of course it's reciprocated too. I just can't believe how lucky I am right now!

I mull over the last couple of weeks in my head and everything makes sense. I know how it must have looked to Mat. I was barely eating, constantly crying, the night terrors were back. Of course it looked like I was falling. I suppose I was, just not off the wagon like he thought I was. And I'm pretty sure I had already fallen; hard.

I don't blame him for calling Patrick and getting me back into the program though. I needed the support from somewhere and he didn't know what was really going on. I didn't either until I thought about it just now, but obviously it led Josh and I back to one another, so I guess it must have been what was needed.

Josh's head is nestled into the crook of my neck and he plays with the curls at the back of my head lazily, occasionally letting out little happy sighs. My eyes start stinging again, but it's all happy tears. I'm just completely in awe of everything that's happened today and I don't know how I got so lucky.

"Hey, what's up?" Josh shifts, cupping my cheek with one hand and swiping the tear tracks away.

"Nothing," I smile back at him, shaking my head. "Everything is just perfect."

Josh blushes a little at my implication and goes back to burying his face in my neck, but the tips of his cheeks are dusted pink and puffed up in a huge smile. I laugh at how cute he is and pull him close again before pressing my lips into his hair. I inhale deeply, taking in the scent of him and committing it to memory.

"I think we'd better make a move." I say, shifting under my boyfriend.

Wait, is that even what we are? I don't know if we need to re-establish our relationship? I mean, we've said "I love you" now, so that's probably a good sign, right? God, I wish I didn't overthink everything!

"I don't wanna move though!" Josh grumbles and winds his hands around my neck. "You're too comfy!"

"That may be so," I giggle, reaching up and untangling his fingers gently. "But we can't stay here all day. Hattie will kick us out!"

Josh huffs dramatically and slides off my lap. He stands up, puffing out his chest as he stretches his shoulders before giving his arms a shake and picking up his beanie from the table.

I find myself just watching his every move until he settles back into his beanie and turns to me with a ridiculous smile.

"What?!" He beams at me shyly, having caught me staring, but I just shake my head in awe and stand up to get ready to leave.

I glance around the coffee shop and notice it's been empty for a while apart from the two of us. My questions are answered when we head back down to the counter and I notice the sign on the front door is flipped to closed.

"Oh god, Hattie!" I gasp guiltily. "If you wanted to close early you should have kicked us out!"

Hattie looks confused for a second, but then laughs and now it's my turn to look confused.

"Ah, I'm not closing early," she chuckles and toddles over to flip the sign back over. "Just thought you two needed some privacy."

"Oh Hattie!" I exclaim and she's surprised when I envelop her in a tight hug. "That's so sweet of you, thank you."