HeartLESS (Fransykes)

9. You tell me I'm not the one

CW: Hangover recovery, talk of alcoholism and recovery, boundaries and respect with a recovering addict, anxiety.

A/N: Pretty dialogue heavy, a bit filler-y but just to get things moving along.

Oli's POV

Vegan's right, of course. I feel better at having vocalised my thoughts to him and having done so means I've avoided a full-blown panic attack. The anxiety is still there, but the other half of my wrap goes down a lot easier now and the water helps to clear my head.

I exit the staff room and see that Vegan is deeply immersed in conversation with the customer he let in before I went out there. I'd even go so far as to say he was flirting with her and she seems to be lapping it up too. She's a youngish-looking woman, maybe mid twenties at the most; American I think and sort of reminds me a little of Hayley Williams from Paramore with her brightly dyed hair and sense of style.

I shake my head at their interaction and stifle a giggle, busying myself with tidying and trying to keep my mind focussed. It helps a little bit, but hearing Vegan giggling with the customer kinda stings a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for him and I hope he asks her out soon, it just feels like my own happiness is destined to be short-lived. I'm not a hugely jealous person usually, but I had just started to believe that maybe it was finally my turn.

Well, I guess trying to focus on something else isn't working as well as I'd hoped, but I allow myself to watch as Vegan and the woman hand one another their phones, presumably swapping phone numbers. Thank fuck for that - they've been skirting around this for weeks! They hand their respective phones back to each other, giggling as their fingers brush against one another before she leaves, waving shyly at Vegan. He lets out a long sigh as she disappears from view and the grin on his face is almost comical.

"Don't you start!" Vegan jokes as I let out a snort from trying not to giggle at him.

"What?!" I protest, raising my hands defensively. "I didn't say a thing!"

"Yeah, you didn't have to," he replies with an eye roll. "I know you're thinking it."

I shrug and grin back at him as he immediately gets his nose back into his phone, presumably texting the woman.

"So..." I tease as he puts his phone back down. "You gonna spill?"

"There's nothing to spill," Vegan shrugs, but a blush creeps across his cheeks and I raise a brow at him. "Fine, her name's Tillie and she's a musician. I'm going to take her to see one of the local bands at the weekend and we'll see how it goes from there, I guess."

"Copycat!" I joke and stick my tongue out at him. "Nah, I'm happy for you, man, really. Took you long enough though!"

Vegan chuckles at me and rolls his eyes, jolting to attention as his phone goes off again and he peers at the screen, looking puzzled.

"Errrr, I think that must have been your phone, Oli."

"What?!" I squeal, spinning around and practically diving behind the desk to grab my phone.

Focussing on Vegan's lovelife apparently distracted me more than anything else and I all but forgot I was waiting for a text. My hands shake as I unlock my phone and I breathe out a sigh of relief as I see Josh's name in my notifications.

From: Josh 🥰

Hey, I think I should be the one apologising. I'm sorry that I'm only just replying. I had an amazing time last night too, but I suffer with intrusive thoughts and I tend to deal with it in pretty unhealthy ways. Last night the thoughts were pretty bad and I drowned them out with way too much tequila and only just got up half an hour ago. I completely understand if this is a dealbreaker for you and I can only apologise for my behaviour. But I do really like you and really would like to see you again. I promise I'm not grovelling for forgiveness by saying that. It's the absolute truth, but I know how hard you've worked on your sobriety and I would hate to be the one who ruined that. Either way, I hope we could still be friends, I enjoyed your company too. J x