City of Angels Book 2

Chapter 14: Little Resistance

I never thought it was possible to ache so much. It felt like a red-hot poker had been jammed through my heart and I couldn't breathe. I know Irin said it would be different, but not this much. I'm engaged and Freen is already married. What the hell was going on?

Maybe in this lifetime we're not supposed to be lovers. Maybe in this lifetime we're only destined to be friends. But if that was the case, why then the bubbling emotions between us? It was insanely intense that we've only know each other, in this lifetime, a couple of days and already we have kissed and spent the night.

It would have been perfect, until that fateful moment. Heidi. Heidi? Why did that sound familiar? I mean, the woman is a goddess - her beauty so far removed from anything I could ever achieve. Such beauty...

It hit me then. We've met before. Nam's dinner party! Was Freen there as well? Had we met before? Through my vessel's memories I can only remember Heidi, but no beautiful Thai woman on her arm. I had even been taken by her quite a lot and found myself hovering around her just to be in her company. Why I thought I'd stand a chance, I'm not sure.

Maybe if I contact Nam she'll be able to fill me in. She has to know Heidi if she was at the party. No wait... Why do I even care? Why should I bother? How will such a thing even change the situation - the situation being the fact that Freen was married. She was married! How in all hell could she not mention that?

I felt hurt. I felt betrayed. I felt like second best. I felt like I wanted to go home, though I knew I couldn't. Not without dying first.

My tired and pained feet carried me all the way home, covering no short distance. It gave me time to think, however. I just didn't know how to handle the situation with Freen, not to mention I have a date with Non today. Now I don't even know whether I should call off the wedding or not. What's the point if I can't have Freen? She's the only reason that I'm here in the first place.

By the time I got home, Freen was sitting on the front steps leading up to my condo. She must have overtaken me by car or bus, but either way, I'm not sure I can face her so soon. When she finally looked up to see me approaching, her features changed notably from terrified to pleading. I want to soothe my thumb over that wrinkled brow and kiss it in assurance. This time however, I was the one who needed assurance...

"Beck, I..." She started but I pushed past her to unlock the door for fear of starting to sob. I could feel it burning up my throat. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. Instead I just walked through the door, deeply considering whether I should let Freen enter or not.

"Beck please, let me in and we can talk about this." Freen begged me as her sad eyes scanned my face, looking for some sort of respite. My cold expression cracked for just a second, but it was long enough for Freen to notice. She stepped into my space and pulled me into a tight hug that felt like it could last forever.

That was when I lost it. Tears streamed down my face as I sobbed into Freen's shoulder. She held me close and rubbed my back until the sobs turned to little hiccups and a lot of sniffling. Freen pulled back and ushered me inside, closing the door behind her. Standing in my foyer, Freen once again approached me and lifted my chin in order to capture my downturned eyes. They were no doubt red and puffy and they burned as if filled with sand.

"I'm so sorry you had to experience that..." Freen whispered and it suddenly jolted me back to reality. I scowled deeply at her and pulled back out of her reach. "How dare you?" I grew bold. "I was completely honest with you, confided in you, took your advice... And here you sit like a fucking hypocrite, secretly dating around while you're married! For god's sake Freen, how is that okay?"

She flinched at every word as if it was a lashing to her skin. Every bit was painful. I could see it in her face and her eyes, brimming with tears. "You have a lot of explaining to do. And that's only when I feel like listening to it." I walked away from her towards my bedroom." Freen followed my first few steps before pausing. "What... Where are you going?" She asked in confusion when she realised I was going to change my clothing.