City of Angels Book 2

Chapter 15: Ominous

Okay, I am sorry I've been MIA, but exams killed me. I'm back to semi normal and hitting the writing again. I'm still planning on finishing City of Angels 2 before I get back to No Strings Attached. One at a time.
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"Oh Freen, don't be so dramatic. We've been through this before..." Heidi's voice was always so smooth - something that charmed others but now just annoyed me. She was busy getting her things together in her purse, preparing herself for yet another business meeting.

I was supposed to attend with her, but she changed her mind when I came home later that morning from Becca's and looked a clear mess. Heidi didn't have the time or the patience to wait for me to fix myself. She would rather be caught dead than have a partner on her arm that looked any less than thrilling.

"Heidi, I'm serious. Can you just listen to me and stop ignoring me like some sort of child?" I implored her frustratedly. I had spat the word 'divorce' in her face almost as soon as I walked through the door. Yet once again, Heidi was being Heidi and kept just sweeping it under the rug, then smoothing over it with her charm and her confidence.

"I'll stop when you stop acting like a child, my darling." She stepped closer to me once she had finished filling her purse. Her hands came up to sweep my hair behind my ears, then moved down to cup my cheeks. Her touch made me uncomfortable.

She wasn't Becca. No one ever would be.

"And how's that exactly?" I asked through my teeth. I truly couldn't see how her perspective of me had changed so much from being partners to me being her lapdog. A child? I brought my hands up to remove hers from my face and fixed her with a hard stare, even though she was smiling at me, all honey and syrup.

"You throw your typical tantrum every time I come home. Divorce this, trapped that. Don't I take good care of you, baby girl?" My resistance to her touch didn't deter her one bit. She slowly entered my space as she spoke, her voice growing lower and softer as she slipped her arms around my waist.

I could feel every bit of her body against mine. I could feel her breath on my cheek. I could smell the scent of her perfume - sweet, yet sophisticated. "Now if you stop whining I promise I'll give you some extra special attention this evening..."

She whispered. I gulped.

XXXXX

"...Beck. Beck? Are you okay?" Non suddenly ripped me from my thoughts and I realised I had completely zoned out during our conversation. Well, it was mostly him talking and me listening.

I couldn't get my mind off of Freen.

"Non, I think there's something we need to talk about..." I took a deep breath as if preparing to take a dive, not even knowing where to start.

"Is it the doves? Yeah I thought it might be a bit much. I'll call the guy and cancel." He started pulling out his phone and I instinctively reached for his arm to halt his movement.

"It's not the doves." I interjected quickly, shaking my head. "Non... You know I love you... but..." I swallowed hard as I saw the look on his face shift. He knew what was coming.

"Beck, don't. Don't do this. Look, it's probably just cold feet. Why don't I book a nice spa session for you and mom and then you can have a relaxing time to think about things." He spoke quickly, almost desperately. He was scared of losing me and it shone in his eyes. He didn't deserve this. He was too much of a good guy.

"Babe...Non. It won't make a difference. I don't want to hurt you but I really can't go through with this." I spoke softly and soothingly to him. I reached for his hand with both mine and held it gingerly. He tipped his head down and slightly shook it from side to side.

"Is it me?" He looked back up, a pained expression on his face.

I firmly shook my head and squeezed his hand. "It could never be you. You are amazing and I know you'll make some lucky woman very happy one day. But that woman is not me, and I can't allow you to make the biggest mistake of your life." I spoke carefully, choosing each word with intention. I honestly did still love him, but there was no romance in that love.

"No, Becks. I'd be making the mistake of my life if I just let you walk away." He gave a little laugh, but there was no humour behind it. "It would be utter madness to let you go."

I sighed and looked out over the water from where we were seated at a coffee shop. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. I should have waited to do this at home, but I couldn't wait any longer.

I couldn't wait to have Freen in my arms.

"Non, if you don't let me go, we'll just end up in a marriage filled with resentment and regret. Is that what you want?" I tilted my head to the side and kept contact with him with gentle eyes.

"No, I don't want that. And I won't give you that. I would give you the world, Beck. And I still will." He steeled his gaze with mine, yet his eyes still seemed to sparkle with emotion. I couldn't continue this conversation out in the open...

The conversation at my parents' house went even worse. My mom was hysterical in a way that my dad had to actually pull her aside and let her calm down. I honestly don't know what she's more upset about - a wasted wedding, or a guy that became like a son to her.

She cursed and cried and backed me into the most terrifying corner, but I knew I had to stand my ground. My dad and my brother were at least home already for the wedding and served as a buffer between us. Yet my mother still went off, demanding to know 'who is the son of a bitch that steered me away' from my future husband.

If she only knew...

I have cried twice in my existence. Once when Freen died, and once when I found out I might lose her again after finding out about Heidi. I couldn't wait any longer. I just couldn't risk it.

I knew I could die by accident at any time, and so if I did, I can't do it without having had my life with Freen, even if it was just one year.

I eventually ducked out of the house when things became overwhelming, and nothing has been settled yet. I don't even know anymore whether or not I was getting married. I soon found myself on a park bench with my head in my hands, gripping at my hair from frustration and anger.

And then time froze. I lifted my head and saw the birds stuck in flight against the blue sky. People stopped walking with feet still in the air. Cars didn't move an inch.

I knew what it meant.

I turned around and there stood Irin with a smile on her face, slowly tucking her silver wings into her back. She came around the bench to take a seat next to me. "I've missed you." She told me in a tone of voice that sounded amused.

"I'd say the same, but whenever one of you appear I know immediately that there's a problem. And no offense Irin, but you are the angel of warning. So what is it?" I took a deep breath and then let out a long, slow breath. I was scared. Irin didn't show herself to people unless it was really necessary.

"Well, I have a warning for you." She smiled softly at me but it brought no amount of comfort. My heart leaped into my throat and it immediately made me feel sick. I was starting to rue these human emotions and uncontrollable reactions.

"Irin...don't..." I shook my head with dread and tears immediately started forming in my eyes.

"I told you there'd be consequences to your decision... I'm sorry Becca..."