STATE OF GRACE. beta squad

025. peaches or cherries?

THE PROMISES YOU MAKE on one of your chosen brothers' deathbed are solid.

they are titanium, like cement, nothing could ever break it.

the promises i made louis howard when he was dying in the hospital room was something i will never let down.

i'll never forget the look he gave me, barely even functioning and the tears filling those already lifeless eyes.

my hand sweating at the way he was clamping it, but i didn't care, he felt gone already.

as well as his, my eyes were also made of glass, the tears there and springing down my face as I looked at him.

six words he told me after i cried my heart out to him and knew i was never gonna see him again.

"take care of mikey for me."

louis howard's beautiful voice spoke to me, for the last time in his life.

take care of mikey for me.

and that's what i did, that's what i'll do forever.

mikey howard is probably the only person on this planet who knows me like the back of her hand.

she can tell when i'm upset by just the way i breath.

i don't think i'll ever be able to love anyone as much as her, she's my best friend.

best friend.

best friend..

best friend?

i don't even think so anymore.

i mean we're still closer than ever, but if it was strictly up to me.

i would be more than that.

the moment i met mikey i think my whole world stopped.

mostly because i thought i ran her completely over and killed the girl.

but also because i couldn't quite understand that i 'killed' such a beautiful person.

i thought i ran over an angel and this was my entry to hell.

admitting it now i will say i had a crush on her at the beginning.

actually not a crush.

more than that.

she was the first girl i ever loved, i do believe i was in love with her.

was.

cause through the years it faded away, kind of blurred out. burying them in hidden worlds.

i never thought about those feelings again.

i don't know where they went, or what other pair of best friends they latched onto as well.

but it's fair and correct to say that after that i had never thought of mikey howard other than as a best friend.