STATE OF GRACE. beta squad

033. drunk?

DEAR MIKEY,

i am so glad you were born so i could know you as i do.

is that weird?

i thank god every day because your in my life, even if you can't talk to me, even if i can't look at you without hurt rising in my chest.

i feel like i'm in high school again, i still keep the letters i wrote to you under my bed.

you have those brown eyes that i would run away with.

i know how cringe this sounds and i get it, but i can't help it, i can't help myself.

it was you from the moment we met.

meeting you helped me to meet me.

just because we aren't how we used to be, just because i'm slowly going mad at each day i really can't help but smile every time your name is mentioned.

i need you back to me.

how you stopped drinking just for me even if you did it just when your sad and confused, how you always laugh at my bad jokes, and how you always make me smile even when upset.

i can't look into your eyes but they're all i think about. i memorized your face as if it's my mirror or a prayer that needs to be said every night. i will forget my name before i forget yours.

i glance off into other directions but i always glance back at you.

sometimes i get upset, really upset. knowing we could never end up together but i lie

i tell myself that one day i'll collapse into my bed and you'll be lying next to me, and it will be our bed and everything will be okay.

because i'd choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, i'd always find you and choose you.

don't forget me and our kiss.

honestly the best three minutes of my life, i still taste your cherry chapstick.

okay nikos calling me and it's pissing aj off, i have to go.

bye.

but just in case you ever foolishly forget, i'm never not thinking of you.

michelle howard stumbled through the front door of the empty beta house.

flashing the lights back on and a hiccup letting loose from her plump mouth.

sharkys brows furrow seeing her walk into the living room, if you can even call it walking the girl was tripping at every step.

"cherry?"

that name was muttered and for a second her ears were punctured.

"snarks?" she says through a whiny voice yet her lips then grew into a smile.

the boy speed walks over to her grabs her waist and suddenly feels her soft hands on his neck.

then he smelt it.

beer.

"mikey.. are you drunk?" his question made her giggle.

"me? oh as if." she slurred.

his body led her to the couch making them face each other as they sat.

"i stopped. but i did have a beer or something that looked like pee." she hiccuped with her red eyes.

"mikey why were you drinking?"

the boy was shocked she hadn't even smelled alcohol in years.

it always used to be a horrible coping mechanism and she stopped when he didn't like it.