Too Many Tears

Free

6 days later...

We worked out all the details for the trip. We'll leave in a week and the only money I'll need is for extra stuff. He insisted on paying for everything else. The only reason I accepted is because he told me it would make him happier if he paid. Plus,  a free trip to New York sounds amazing. 

I'm going to bring 500 dollars for souvenirs and a gift for my dad. I know it's a lot of money but I have no idea how expensive things are going to be. 

Now, how I got my dad to let me go I have no idea. Maxim assured him that I'd be safe and told him what we planned to do. Somehow he was comfortable with me going. I mean not like he could stop me, I'm 19. 

With everything worked out the excitement builds in me. 

Then I remember what today is, the trial. All of a sudden I'm nervous. What's going to happen when he looks at me with those cruel grey eyes? Maybe my dad and Maxim are right, I'm not ready.  

I look at my phone, it's only 2 hours away. 

In a panic I call Maxim, hoping he can reassure me.

"I can't do this Maxim, I can't!"

"Hey, he can't hurt you, I know your scared but both me and your dad will be there" he says, calmly.

I nod to myself and try to calm down, he's right, I'm safe.

"I thought....I thought I could do it, but, those eyes, those cold grey eyes, I can't" I stutter, tears falling.

"I should've just killed that fucker" He says, muttering to himself.

I hear him and I smile softly. Maybe it's the panic rising in my chest, the adrenaline. I've never heard him cuss. Then I think of his expression and burst out laughing. This calm, collected man, just said something so unlike him.

"Charlie, are you laughing?"

"You've never cussed in front of me. Your always so professional. It's hilarious" I say in between gasps for air. 

He laughs softly and my panic slowly goes down. I've always loved his laugh. The laughter dies down and I realize how grateful I am to him.

"Thanks, for everything" I tell him.

"No, thank you for being so strong and brave."

"Just say your welcome Professor."

"Your welcome."

"Thank you. Time to get ready" I say with a sigh.

"I'll come by in about 30 minutes and talk with your father."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye Charlie."

I hang up and am left feeling giddy. How can one man make me feel so happy and light?

30 minutes later...

I hear voices chatting downstairs, he must be here. I find myself smiling like a little girl. My History professor that I'm in love with is in my living room. What's wrong with me?

I finish getting ready and head downstairs. 

Maxim, he seems concerned, worried. What possibly could have happened between now and 30 minutes ago? 

I look at the both of them in confusion. My dad has close to the same expression.

"What's wrong?" I finally ask.

The look everywhere but at me. Why aren't they answering me?

"Trevor got out" Maxim mutters.

The words pierce through my skin into my heart. What? How? 

I shake my head and panic builds in my chest. The world around me disappearing. 

I look back and forth between Maxim and my dad and then bolt up the stairs. I hate people seeing me like this. I know it's dumb after everything they already know but it's still embarrassing.

Slamming my door shut behind me I lean against it and sob, breathless. Everything pours out, the fear, the shock, the shame. He can't be free! He fucking can't!

I hear a knock on my door. A familiar voice speaking from the other side.

"Charlie...your safe. They have cops all around the house" Maxim says, his voice muffled.

"He'll find a way around it" I whisper.

I thought I spoke quietly enough but his response tells me he heard.

"He won't. Can I come in please?"

I move away from the door and open it. Maxim's standing there with a worried expression. I step away and motion for him to come in. Stepping inside he keeps his distance, but I don't want him to. This man, this man makes me feel things I shouldn't. The effect he has on me is exciting but frustrating at the same time. My emotions running high I feel the need to kiss him. Something I long to do.

"I know you don't want to hear this but..." He says before I interrupt him.

"No, don't you dare say what I think your going to."

"We can find another time to go..."

"NO! This man can not control my life, it's my life!"

He closes his eyes and takes a breath. I must be frustrating him. I don't want to upset him. I force myself to calm down. As the anger leaves my body I feel terror creeping it's way into my heart. 

"I'm sorry...I just....I'm scared" I reply, tears pooling in my eyes.

He steps hesitantly steps closer, looking towards me for confirmation. I nod and he pulls me into a hug, my head on his chest. 

"Me too."

His words surprise me but I don't move. This man is strong, brave, smart, gorgeous, but he's also like me, broken. I realize that he feels things for me I never though he did. The only way to know is to ask him, but I'm afraid he'll tell me I'm wrong.  

His hand smooths my hair down as he pulls away. On instinct my hand goes to his face. This perfect man, who might actually love me. He's nothing like his brother, nothing. I have to tell him how I feel.

I hear someone clear the voice and Maxim quickly backs up. 

"I don't know what the hell that was but for now I have good news" My dad says, aiming a stern look towards Maxim.

I can't help it, a laugh bursts out from me and I can't stop. He's looking at Maxim like he's a teenage boy who just got caught kissing his daughter. 

"What's so funny?" Maxim asks.

The fit calms down and for now decide to keep this to myself. 

"Nothing" is all I say.

"Mr. Kindle, what's the good news?"

"They caught him at Charlie's apartment trying to break in."

Then dead silence, nobody speaks for what feels like forever. I can hear my heart beating, trying to take in this information.

"Is the trial still going to take place?" I ask, I have to know.

"They said today wouldn't be a great idea."

"Let me see him, now."

My dad starts to say something but Maxim interrupts. 

"Sir, I think It would be better for her to see him before the trial."

My dad shakes his head, a solid no. I try to reason with him but he walks away.

"What now?" I say, turning toward Maxim.

"Let's go, your not a kid anymore your dad doesn't control your life" He tells me, grabbing my hand.

I smile and follow him to his car. Inside I look at him, I mean really look at him. That handsome face is going to be my downfall. He's so much more then just a history professor, he's the love of my life. There's no other explanation as for why my heart aches for his touch, his love, his attention. I love him, I don't know why but I do, I really do.