Too Many Tears

Talent

I finally figure out what song I'm going to do. I wanna sing "I Love You" by Billie Eilish. I know it's kinda a break up song but it's the only one that I know well enough besides lovely. 

My heart beats rapidly as I pull up the karaoke track.  I lick my lips in an attempt to bring back some moisture. Please don't mess up. 

Maxim looks at me with a smile on his face. 

As the song starts I feel my body tense. The anxiety crawling through my body, dying to be released. This is why my dreams of becoming a singer dyed a few years ago. I can't get pass the nerves.

I watch the words show up and the red move slowly over them. I start on cue and try my best not to keep the shaking away. I close my eyes my hands moving slightly, trying to feel the music. My emotions running raw. I miss this, singing to feel something instead of singing to get passed the pain.

Once the song ends I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Maxim, looking at me with pain in his eyes.

 "Damn, you made me feel something."

I smile and a giggle slips past my lips. That's the first time someone gave me a compliment like that. He smiles back and motions for me to sit next to him. I sit down and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Why haven't you done something with this amazing talent of yours?"

The smile fades and I lift my head. 

"It probably started around 9th grade" I start.

"It was around the time my mom left...I developed a social anxiety that's stuck with me for years" I continue.

I stop talking and look ahead, refusing to meet his eyes. 

"My voice shakes every time and I worry too much about it, the anxiety" I finish, clasping my hands tightly together.

"You sounded great just then, Charlie" He says, taking my hand in his.

Finally I look up and his smile makes me smile. I lean in and hug him. He embraces me back and then the tears fall. Nobody has ever encouraged me like this, not even my dad. I start to cry harder, a tear on the corner of my mouth, salty and warm. 

"Your so brave and strong, you got this, love."

"Love?"

I lean up and smile, his face is flustered. Can't look worse then my, teary, red face.

"Your my love" He answers.

"I love that."

Then I lean in a kiss him softly. He kisses back before pulling away. 

"You should probably get home before your dad gets worried."

I nod and he drives me home. Once I'm in my room I scream into my pillow. This man is going to be the death of me. 

_____________________________________________________________________

1 week later

We postponed our trip by a few days but today is finally the day. I packed everything last night. I'm happy my dad's still letting me go especially after he almost caught us. Maxim told him he was just trying to comfort me, which was technically true. 

The trial is going to be sometime next month. I'm more then happy to wait. The relief when I heard that news left me feeling light and airy. I don't have to look into those ice cold eyes for a whole month. Plus, I get to spend time with Maxim, a lot of time. That is enough to make me jump up and down. My heart races at the possibilities. That third date better be soon.

I pick up my suitcase and my carry on. The next few days are going to be filled with excitement. We'll be staying for 5 days at a hotel in Times Square. 

I hear the doorbell ring, he's here! 

I walk down the stairs and give him a hug, dropping my stuff on the ground. He hugs me back and once we pull away he grabs my suitcase handle and carry on. 

"Where's my hug at?" My dad, chimes in.

I turn around a give him a hug. I tell him I'll be alright and then were off.

Once we arrive at the airport I look around in wonder. This place is huge! There's even a little gift shop and a Chick-fil-a! I've never tried it before, my town could never.  At least we have a McDonalds and a Taco Bell. 

Finally, we board the plane after a few hours. I've never flown and the anxiety runs through my stiff body.  

Maxim grabs my hand and squeezes gently, reassuring me. It helps ease the worry but not by much. 

For some reason he felt the need to get us first class tickets. As I sit down I slowly take in the luxury around me. There's a small divider between me an Maxim and we each get our own mini TV screen. 

"We get all this?" I ask him.

"I hope so, it cost too much."

"Nobody told you to."

He looks over an smiles softly. My heart leaps as he grabs my hand in his. I must be in heaven.