Eminems Assistant

17 - I need help

I had spent the night at Skylar's before I had took the first flight in the morning back to Detroit.

I was home alone now. Marshall was still in LA with Dre. We hadn't spoken since our argument yesterday.

I just couldn't stop thinking about what he had told me. He really had relapsed and I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

I cried a lot. Because I just felt so confused. Why wouldn't he tell me about his anxiety? Why would he take a pill after he was clean for so many years. Was it really my fault? Did I do something wrong?

I just felt so alone. But I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just stayed at home, laid in Marshalls and my bed and watched movie after movie, just to distract me from all my negative thoughts.

After a while I fell asleep.

-

I woke up a couple hours later and checked my phone.

Marshall had called me like a trillion times and left me a few messages.

Him: I need to talk to you.
Him: Di, answer your phone.
Him: I wanna talk to you. I need you.
Him: Call me back.
Him: I'm sorry, Di. I love you.
Him: I just need to talk to someone.

Shit...

So I just called him. He almost answered immediately.

"Di", you heard him sigh.

"Hi", I said softly. "What's wrong?"

Silence.

I heard him letting out a big sigh. "Everything."

"Tell me."

"Just everything, Di. I feel so horrible. I just hate myself... for everything. Where are you? Cause I miss you...I need you cause I love you and...I'm sorry..and—"

"Baby calm down", I said softly. "Breathe."

"Di, where are you?"

"Home. In Detroit."

"Fuck", he sighed and i heard him letting out a shaky breath. "I don't know what to do. I really don't. You're probably still mad at me...I just...I feel so horrible... Di, I fucking relapsed. I'm a fucking drug addict who doesn't have his life under control—"

"Stop", i said quickly. "Calm down."

"No I can't. I cant Di", he said sounding very upset.

I didn't know what to do or how to help him. It was so frustrating. I just wanted to give him a hug so so bad.

"Have you talked to your therapist already?", i asked.

"No. But Dina why are you every time I talk to you about shit like: 'ohh and have you talked to your therapist yet?'", he Imitated my voice.

"Marshall thats not fair! I wanna help you so bad. But I don't know how! Tell me what to do!"

"I would've needed you by my side today. But you fucking went home, Dina. Why do you always run away from your fucking problems?", he snapped.

"Marshall! Are you fucking serious right now? Are you just gonna pretend like you did nothing wrong and put this all on me? How is everything my fault huh?! Why is everything I do wrong? Tell me Marshall! Fucking tell me!!", i yelled into the phone.

That was when my dog Corona suddenly ran into the room, jumped onto the bed and snuggled against me. She always does that when she notices that I'm upset about something.