A Sense of Propriety

Chapter 2

London had not changed much in Cordelia's opinion as the carriage made its way along the cobblestone road. Travelling since early that morning had left her tired, and her back was smarting from being in a stationary position for so many hours.

Her decision to return to London had been a difficult one to make. She had become so accustomed to the way of life at the Manor that the slightest change felt extremely daunting, and the afternoon when this first came to light she had mulled over the thought of returning.

But it was her cousin George who had finalised her decision, for when she wanted to express her feelings on the matter to him, hoping to have a listening ear, he had told her—quite blatantly—that she needed to mature, and that it was not his job to listen to her whining words of being a coward.

She supposed that she should have expected such a response from him, but his words still struck a little closer than she wished to admit.

Was she being a coward by refusing to return to London?

In a manner of speaking, yes, she was. She never belonged among the social elite, and she failed to see how that would have changed now. Even with the assistance of the Masters, she would never be of the same blood as the rest of them.

But her fear of being the social outcast was not the only thing that made her hesitate in returning. There was one other reason, one which regarded a family that so clearly thought her beneath them.

The Marquis of Midrake and his wife.

She wished to see them least of all. If she never saw them again, it would be too soon.

But her cousin did make her reflect upon her options later that evening when she went to bed. If she did not go to London, each day for the rest of her life would remain precisely such as this. Nothing will change.

It was a feeling that did not sit well with her, for she did hope to meet a man and marry one day. Though it was highly unlikely that she ever would, it was currently impossible if she chose to remain at home, unseen and unknown.

Besides, she might become friends with another young lady, which would be beneficial to her rather lonely existence.

And so it was decided that they would return to London the following week. It was a time that would also suit her cousin, since he had business to attend to with the House of Lords, though how long he was willing to stay in the city was another question entirely.

The arrangements were made at a rather brisk pace that Cordelia had not been ready for, and before she even realized it, they had packed her bags, assisted her in a carriage and were already entering London.

And so, to keep her mind occupied so as not to dwell on the conflicting feelings of her arrival, she focused on the distraction of the many buildings as they moved past them, the wheels churning beneath her feet and the clips of the horses' hooves creating a symphony with all the other travellers in the streets.

Her vibrant blue eyes absorbed the sight of a familiar park, noticing individuals milling about the landscape and flowerbeds, while along the street, various phaetons, wagons, horses, and people rushed about in an attempt to complete their daily tasks.

She did not know what she had expected, but she thought that something must have changed after six years. The fact that nothing outwardly looked any different but for several more buildings left an unsettled feeling within her. Surely, if London had not changed then society would not have either.

She would be a misfit just like she always was.

With a heavy sigh, she leaned back against the cushioned seat of the carriage and looked at her aunt who sat across from her. "London has not changed," she commented as she watched the older woman turn the page of her leather-bound book.