Fourteen Moons

Interlude 15.5 - A Simple Question

I lay on my back, the soft sensation of fur embracing me. I place the back of my hand over my face and sigh. What I want... I glance over at the small, innocently sleeping fairy. Her moderately long silk-like hair brushes against her face. It's such a simple question... So why is it that when she asks, it becomes so difficult to answer.

I know what I want, but using her to get it... There's no guarantee that they'd even approve. They'd likely say I'm a good-for-nothing, or talk about how disappointed they are. I roll onto my side, facing the wall, and wipe my eyes. They could've at least told me to my face... but no. I extend my arm and punch the stone wall in front of me. They had to talk about me behind my back... Some parents you are...

"Urh," I wince as I bite my lip and rub my sore hand. Stupid. You don't deserve it. You had your chance and you blew it.

"If you're going to cry," Revus comments, his quiet voice barely reaching me, "Why punch the wall?"

"Because I'm frustrated," I answer, sitting up. He is sitting at the table with skins and leaves spread out atop it. "Are you actually making another bag?"

"Sure," He simply affirms, "After all." He pauses and glances at me with his eyes, "You lost yours and your supplies. Whether you stay with us or not, its pretty idiotic to travel without any supplies."

"I..." I open my mouth to debate his point but stop. No, he's right. Losing my bag in the surge was careless. Even if I wasn't captured, I'd have nothing. I guess there's a chance I could find it but that's about as likely as escaping that jar on my own...

I turn my head and look at Evetta. If she hadn't gotten captured then there's no way I would've been rescued. I'd still be in that jar and the enōōfen would bring me to... wherever.

"Hey..." I mutter as I get up and walk over to the table, "Thanks, for saving me."

"It wasn't you I was trying to save," Revus flatly responds.

"I know, but if not for you..."

"I get it," Revus sighs as he scratches the back of his neck. He focuses his attention on me, "So, what're you going to do?"

I sit down next to him, lean back in the chair, and reply, "What do you think I should do?"

"Hmmm... Well, at the end of the day, what I think doesn't matter. I'm not a skryver, nor can I become a page," He explains, then nods in Evetta's directions, "What matters is whether she wants it, and whether you're willing to bear that burden."

I feel my chest tighten as my legs and fist tense up. I take a deep breath, "That's true, but I still would like to hear your opinion. Otherwise I feel like I'll keep wracking my brain about what I should do."

Revus sighs, "Fine. You want to know what I think?"

I gaze at him and nod.

He stops working on the bag, leans back in his chair, interlocks his fingers and places them atop his head. "If you're anything like Nova, then I'm sure you'd make a great page. Being from the Raine clan, you family has ties to the skryvers so you're likely to be working with them with or without becoming a page." He continues, "I know she'd be happy about it, which..." He pauses and directs a gentle smile at Evetta, "I've learned matters more than I initially thought it would."

"I don't deserve it though," The words escape my mouth.

"Pfft," Revus laughs, "Deserve it?" He continues to laugh, trying to keep his voice down and, as he wipes a tear, he states, "You think I deserve to be by her side? Let me ask you something." He leans in toward me, "Why do you think the world put me by her side?"