I'm Meant To Hate You

17

When I made it back to London, my time was plagued by thoughts. But equally plagued by Mel, and her irritating questions. She wanted to know everything. I had been home for two days, and she was still nagging. She just couldn't get the hint, that it was something that I didn't want to speak about.

"Can you just spill already babe? My throat is starting to hurt with how much it's straining to see if you're okay." She whined and sat on my desk.

"Well fuck off then. No one's asking you to nag. You're being nosey. Go stick your nose in someone else's business." I said, shutting down her countless attempts.

"Oh, come on. Just tell me, you know I can normally help." She muttered, sighing as I kept quiet and sipped on my drink. A knock at the door interrupted her next attempt.

"Miss Fox is here to see you." Rich said, nodding in our direction before disappearing out the door. I hadn't spoken to him since our disagreement. I didn't have anything left to say, and he clearly wasn't willing to apologise, so silence was the only option. For the both of us.

"Well shit. Now I get to see the problem." Mel whispered as the door opened again, the water becoming hard to swallow as I gulped it down at the sight of her. Despite the few days she had spent there, she had managed to come back looking even more golden. Her eyes became more prominent. Especially when they attached to mine, before looking over at Mel as she sat comfortably as she looked between us.

"I'll see you at home then sweetheart." Mel said, what a coward. She didn't even look back before she shut the door. Leaving Emily's eyes to attach back on mine.

"How was Spain?" I asked, breaking the silence along with our eye contact, standing from my chair and perching in the exact same spot as Mel had just gotten up from.

"Harry loved it." Her quiet voice mumbled.

"I don't care how much Harry liked it. I was asking you."

"What the fuck does it matter Kiana?" She sighed, her hands being unable to keep themselves still as she fidgeted.

"Have I not made it clear enough that I care about you. I have tried so hard to keep myself in check, to try and only do things that will benefit you. You just keep obliterating everything I'm saying. I'm on your side. I have supported you when no one else has. I've given you a shoulder to cry on when you needed it. I thought by me doing all that was obvious enough. I thought I had made it clear that I am way past whatever I was like before. Or at least whatever I tried to be like. How much more do I need to do for you to see that?" Now standing in front of my desk, not being able to stay seated, to stay relaxed.

She rushed in my direction from where she was stood, her hands latching onto my white dress shirt before smashing her lips onto mine. Her force sent me a few steps back, harshly landing against my desk, unintentionally letting out a gasp.

"F- Emily. We can't. After everything, we can't go there. We have too much history, too many complications. I-I'm your agent." I said once I had pulled away, trying to catch my breath as my hands held the desk beneath me, trying to desperately keep my hands to myself.

"I fucking know that okay? But you're the gasoline to my fire. We're the most dangerous thing for each other but we're so powerful when we're together. We work so well. We give each other the opportunity to stoke the fire within us. In a way, I need you to keep me alight. I can't be without you. I'm supposed to hate you, I know that, I've always known that. But I can't deny whatever this is. I can't ignore the embers running through my veins, waiting to find out if the fire is going to envelope them again or leave them to die. I need you. And I know you need me just as much, so I'll leave the decision up to you. You know how I feel, so tell me, what am I supposed to do with all of these feelings?" Emily spoke, exhausted as she let out all of the thoughts that were overwhelming her mind. Clearly it was something she had been holding in for a while.

I didn't know what to do, how to react. I'm her agent. I'm Kiana Jones. And I think I'm falling. I'm not supposed to fall, I usually don't fall, but the gasoline in me is slowly spilling, overflowing, falling. Right onto an open fire, one that she has provided for me, opened up to me so bare and on it's last few moments as it was slowly dying in front of me. She wants me to save her, and who am I to say no?

My lips aggressively met her's this time, my hands pulling at her waist to bring her closer. Her hands desperately tugged on my shirt, fiddling with the top few buttons. My hands stopped her, only out of habit. I gently pulled back, my eyes bouncing between her lips and her eyes.

"I know. I'm sorry. I got too close." She heaved out, placing a soft kiss against my cheek before moving her hands lower as she fell against me, taking a deep breath in. "I'm sorry." She repeated.

"It's okay. Force of habit. You didn't even touch me there." I sighed out, partially annoyed with myself for ruining the moment.

"No Kiana. Don't do that. Your body knows your limits. We just found them. It's not a problem." She said, enveloping her arms around my lower body in a hug.

"And what are your limits?" I whispered out as I felt the need to fill the silence.

"Ki I'd let you do anything to me." She pulled back a little, her eyes strong with emotion. My gaze remained soft, flitting over her face.

"You're so beautiful." The words fell out of my mouth in a breathless whisper. Her face gently leaned in, her lips hardly touching mine, making me shiver. I don't know if she was testing me, if she was waiting for me to join mine to her's but I couldn't contain myself and leant into her lips in a delicate kiss.

"Fuck Kiana. You're so....gentle. I'm not going to break. Not in the way you think." She murmured against my lips as a knock on the door interrupted us, making her push me away frantically. Because we were situated stupidly, I went falling off the desk, landing harshly behind it.

"Fuck sake Emily." I huffed, rolling on the floor as I held my shoulder.

"Shit, I'm so sorry Ki. I'm sorry." She said as she rushed to me, kneeling beside me.

"Go away!" I shouted towards the door, my voice slightly strained.

"That's no way to treat a guest Kiana." The voice sent chills through me as I pushed Emily's hands away from me and grabbed ahold of my desk, pulling myself up and ignoring the pain.

"Mum." My voice wobbled a little as Emily sucked a breath in behind me.