By Chance | Complete |

Chapter Fifty

Lyra

My chest felt like it was going to cave in as River kissed my cheek and went to the bathroom to get rid of the condom.

I fucked up.

I fucked up really badly.

I got out of bed and started getting dressed right away.

I had to leave.

River came back out with a dark blue towel. "I brought- where are you going?"

"I have to go."

"What?" His dark brows moved together. "Get back in bed. We aren't done yet."

I slipped my shirt on and shook my head. "You got what you wanted. Someone like you doesn't hook up with someone like me."

My stomach dropped, reality becoming so crystal clear as it left my mouth.

"What? No-"

But I hurried out of the room, not wanting to talk to him.

Actually, I left the house all together. I grabbed my jacket and boots and slipped out, taking the back way to the resort. 

I felt like I was going to be sick.

I just slept with River Evers. The boy I hated most. The boy who treated me just as bad as everyone else, even worse.

I was pathetic.

There was no way he didn't just want to hook up because... he wanted me. It was a game. He won. He got what he wanted.

Now he could go back to all the other Desirable pieces of shit that aren't Teddy or Sasha, and make fun of me.

My heart hurt, It squeezed so tightly as I thought about how good I felt twenty minutes ago.

I know I did that. I always ruined things.

Maybe Teddy and Sasha would pull away from me after the trip.

Maybe they'd find out and end our friendship.
I didn't want to hide this from Sasha. But I couldn't tell her. I didn't want her to think I was like all the other friends that tried to get with River.

My life had been a mess of my own impulsive decisions.

Tears fell down my face as I got to the resort and used the swipe card Teddy gave me to get in. I was able to get into one of the lounges and sleep on the couch for the night.

But I didn't get much sleep. I had left my phone back in my room. I had no idea what time it was or anything.

I tossed and turned and thought about what just happened.

By the morning, my head was groggy and sore. And so were my eyes.

When the sun started to rise in the sky, I headed back through the back path. I didn't know what I was going to do.

I wanted to get in and get my phone so I could text Sasha I was out or something.

I was so anxious, enough to slow my steps to turtle speed to avoid arriving at the house.
I was as quiet as possible, successfully getting to my room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" River voice demanded, causing me to jump.

"Get out of my room."

"No, don't act like I wasn't inside of you last night." He crossed his arms.

"Oh, fuck off, River. You got what you wanted. Go tell your girlfriend and all your friends. I'll help you with whatever prank or joke you guys are planning next."

"This isn't about anyone other than us."

"You got what you wanted so leave me alone. I'm sure whatever it is should be enough for you to leave me for the rest of the year. Max and I got on the topic of people and parties. And he said Emily bragged about her boyfriend, meaning you of course, provided her with a mouse to put in a girls locker."

All colour drained from his face. "Ly-"

"Whatever you're planning to do, keep my family out of it. My sister doesn't need you to drag her name with mine."

"Your sister is a cunt. She deserves someone to smack her."

"Don't." I snapped. "That is my sister. I can say what I want, you can't."

"You really like getting treated like shit. You defend her and you sleep with me because that's what I wanted? You're pretty fucked up."

I deserved that. But It still cuts deep.

Because he wasn't wrong.

"You're actually a psychotic loser, Williams. Stay the fuck away from my friends after this trip. We've given you enough pity. Especially last night."

"Just get out." I walked past him into the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Sasha asked for the third time as she applied the face mask mixture she made. "You seem...off. Ever since I got up this morning."

Guilt consumed me now and I hadn't even opened my mouth to lie to her. The thought just made me feel guilty.

"Just tired, Sash."

She nodded. "Did your sister call yesterday?"

I almost flinched at remembering that. And what happened shortly after that.

River and I hadn't spoken to each other the rest of the day. We avoided each other.

Neither Teddy or Sasha seemed to think anything was off.

And It scared me to have to start pulling away.
Maybe I could contact my grandparents and ask them to move me to the city...or maybe Lilian would hardly notice if I just left.

I had savings, I could find a place. Or I could sneak into Bridgette's house. Mine after graduation of course. Just no one knew Bridgette gave me a secret key.

While my parents took away my key after she died, they didn't know about the one I hid.

Maybe I could live there, I could make it.

I don't know.

But I would figure something out.

"Yeah." I nodded. "She just had a really hard day."

"What about you?" Me? "He was your dad too." She continued.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I nodded. "I just worry about her. She needed them. Far more than I did."
She squeezed my hand. "You needed them too."

"I'm okay. We don't have to talk about this."

"If you want to talk about it, ever, I'm here."

What would I talk about? The truth?

No, the truth was locked away with me.

The truth was, even if I opened up to her about Lilian, she still wouldn't know the half of it.

~ Thank you so much for reading! And over 5.22k reads!!! That's incredible and I cannot thank everyone enough. This book is so important and I've taken so much time to figure out the plot, story, characters and such! Thank you so much! Don't miss the next chapter!
Keep in mind the warnings for the next couple chapters as well.