Y/N's POV:
"Can we.. can I.. um could we.. go back to how we were before? I mean on the couch.. before I went to change? Um.. cuddling?" I asked, my face probably bright red. "I um.. I want to fall asleep with you.. I just uh.. I don't know.. I felt.. safe? when you were holding me.. and I mean its my birthday tomorrow so.. well I mean you did also say you'd protect me aha.." I rambled, crossing my arms.
I felt so embarrassed asking him that. I mean I didn't even know where the courage to ask came from in the first place. It's like ever since I met EJ I've just been.. braver?
He seemed to ponder my question for a second.
Suddenly, he reached towards me and pulled me on top of him, cutting me off from rambling even more and making my face go fifty shades of red.
I was speechless.
I was caught so off guard.
I was.. flustered?
EJ had essentially pulled me so that I was sitting on his lap and hovering over him.
If anyone were to walk in right now.. well.. it wouldn't look like we were just two buddies, you know?
"I.. um.. uh.." I stammered, trying to figure out what to say.
"This is what you wanted right?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I might actually combust.
It was a miracle I hadn't already if I was being honest.
Also fuck me.
Not like I wanted him to fuck me but "fuck me" as in like how did I end up in this situation.. but also maybe I did want him to- nope. Nope. No. No. No. I was absolutely NOT going to think about that while literally on top of him.
"(y/n)?" he questioned, waving a hand in my face.
"Oh um.. uh.. what was the question again?" I replied, mentally punching myself for zoning out.
He probably thought I was so weird.
"I asked if this is what you wanted.. but maybe I misunderstood..?" he responded, trailing off and looking away.
"No! No.. um.. I mean.. yes. Yes, this is what I wanted. Um.. sorry. You just kind of.. surprised me is all," I answered quickly.
"Oh okay good, I was worried I made you uncomfortable for a minute there. But if there's nothing wrong, then can you stop just sitting there and let me hold you? So I can protect you of course. And because it's your birthday tomorrow. You can consider this to be your present from me," he commented, gently tugging my arm and pulling me against him.
This man was going to kill me.
I mean really, I was a goner.
Remember how I was afraid of a murderer being in the house?
Yeah well, there was one right here.
And he was going to murder my heart.
I carefully adjusted myself to be more comfortable and let out a soft sigh.
"Thank you," I whispered, closing my eyes and resting my head against his chest.
"Hey, (y/n)?"
"Yeah?"
"After we figure everything out with the chief and that cult thing.. what do you plan on doing?"
"Hmm.. I think I want to work at the police department. I'm not sure yet, though. I just feel like.. there's something more? Like.. there's something else I'm meant to do.. but I don't know what it is it yet, you know?"
"Yeah.. I understand. Can I ask why you want to work for the police?"
"Can I be honest with you? I don't know anymore. At first I wanted to just.. be good? I wanted to help the good people and make sure the bad people got what they deserved but these past several months have me questioning everything. I feel like even the good people are messed up and the bad people get away with anything they do. Do I really want to be a part of that system?"
"One thing I've learned, (y/n), is that justice always finds a way. It may not happen right away, or in a timely manner at all, but it always finds a way."
His tone took a dark turn at that sentence, and I felt a shiver run down my spine.
Somehow, his words gave me the motivation to finally say what I had been wanting to say for a while.
"I just.. I just wish there was something I could do, a way I could make sure everyone gets their due justice," I replied, sinking further into his chest.
"You want to be a hero?" he asked, gently rubbing my back.
"Honestly? No. Heroes always try to save lives. They never try to kill the villain either. It's always fight, capture, and jail. No.. I think there's some people that really don't deserve to live at all. You can still find joy while you rot away in prison, you know? There's people who write or paint or find hobbies, and then there's those who plan for the day they get out- they make connections, make allies, and then once they're out they just go right back to being scum. Sorry if this sounds dark, but I think the only true justice is death. Maybe a slow, painful one, but death nonetheless," I explained, feeling the humanity slowly drain from me with each word that left my mouth.
"Don't get me wrong, EJ, I know there's good people out there. Good people who go to jail or good people who are unfairly wronged, and I don't wish anything bad upon them, but I also think good people are rare these days," I added.
EJ stayed silent for several minutes.
I wondered what he might be thinking.
Maybe he was trying to figure out the quickest way to throw me off of him and get out of here.
I mean, I must sound insane to him, right?
I began to question if I should have stayed quiet instead of expressing my true thoughts, but just when I was about to laugh and say it was all a joke, EJ wrapped his arms around me tighter and replied.
"(Y/N), you are absolutely amazing. Never forget that, okay? Everything you just said? I agree. I feel the same way," he stated.
My eyes widened as I processed his words.
"Really?" I questioned, tilting my head up to look at him.
"Yes, really," he answered, smiling softly as he returned my gaze.
"I thought I was insane for thinking that way," I admitted, hiding my face against his chest again.
"Then I guess that makes us both insane," he responded casually.
"Being insane doesn't sound so bad if it's you I'm being insane with," I replied, instantly regretting my honesty and hoping he didn't take it the wrong way.
"Yeah? I think so too. But hey.. let's focus our insanity on finding these guys for now, okay? You want justice for your aunt, right? I promise she'll be avenged."
"How can you promise that? I think the only way she can truly be avenged is if those guys are killed. And sadly, murder is frowned upon universally, even if they deserve it."
"I promise she will be avenged."
"But how? How can you promise that EJ?"
"(Y/N), there's something I need to tell you. I've been hiding some things from you. I think it's time I tell the truth."
"The truth?"
"The truth."
What was the truth?
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1247 words
Thoughts? Comments? Pleaseeee keep the comments coming I love them so much, your comments are my fuel fr >~<
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