After All (Passion Book 3)

Chapter Three

His lips were warm and soft against mine, bringing back so many memories. Memories of when I could kiss these lips whenever I wanted and when I could hold his body against mine, like I was now. My hands moved to his back, pressing him against me. I couldn't get enough of him. 

His hands moved to my wet hair, his fingers curling, tugging slightly at the short, wet strands. My mouth opened and his tongue was instantly intertwined with mine. 

These were the lips, the mouth I had dreamed about. The man I had dreamed about for years now. And he was in my arms. 

Eddie pulled away first, panting. He buried his face in my shoulder, groaning, before pulling away and sulking down the hallway. 

I sat back onto the bed, completely bemused of what just happened and his reaction. My head dropped into my hands, and it was my turn to groan. Staying here was a mistake. Coming back was a mistake. 

I wanted to go after him, to question him and force him to talk to me. What the hell did that kiss mean? Given his reaction, given that he hadn't stuck around I knew that we weren't getting back together. That he didn't want to get back together. If he had, he would have stayed and talked with me. 

I wouldn't tolerate him playing with my head again. Not like when we'd first gotten together. 

Getting up, I changed into a pair of sweats I'd brought and a t-shirt. I would go to the ceremony tomorrow, but I wouldn't stick around after that. I would go check into the hotel I'd booked. I would spend the night, and then I would go back to Arizona and never look back. 

What was wrong with me? 

You still love him. Of course, I did. But I shouldn't. Yes, I'd been the one to leave, but I hadn't come here expecting anything, other than to nurse the feelings I still had for him. To watch him from afar and not get involved, because I knew that this would be the last time I ever saw him. 

When I looked up, Eddie was standing in the doorway of the guest room again, a lost look on his face. 

"What?" I asked, a little more harshly than I'd intended. 

He ran a hand through his dark hair. 

"That won't happen again." His voice was a whisper. 

I nodded in agreement. 

"I didn't mean to force myself on you." 

"You didn't," I said. My voice sounded horse, strained. "I kissed you back." 

He shook his head, as though he was trying to dispel some unpleasant thought. "It wouldn't be smart for us to be involved again. Not with so many years between us." 

The five years that we'd spent apart now felt like a vast, gaping ocean with no horizon in sight. Despite what Shannon had said when we'd gone for coffee when I'd made the decision to leave Eddie, we didn't belong together. I didn't know the man he'd become, and he didn't know me. I was just here to support him, as an acquaintance, and because he'd asked me to. 

Tomorrow was important to him. 

"I'll leave," I said, standing. 

"I think that would be for the best," he agreed. 

My heart squeezed painfully, but I reminded myself that it was for the best. We didn't have a future anymore. 

We never would. 

He wasn't mine anymore. 

The hotel I'd initially booked was a ten minute drive from the firehouse. I would be taking a cab in the morning - the ceremony started at ten, he'd told me when I'd left.