Spideypool (one shots)

Fake date

Peter was mindlessly scrolling on Facebook, when he sees a post that said, 'remember everyone, October is take a big booty girl out on a date, month.'
"That's funny." He shares it not really thinking anything of it.
His best friend, Harry was quick to comment, 'first, you're a guy. And two you don't have an ass dude.'

"Rude." He looks in his full length mirror, turning around to look at his butt.
"I have a bit of an ass, maybe not a dump truck, but it's nice."
He realized what he just said and blushed, throwing his phone on the bed and then getting into his Spider-Man suit.

He swings through the city, bored with nothing to do.
"I can't believe Harry said that. I also can't believe I checked out my own ass." He hits himself in the head 'v8' style and lands on a building.
"Okay, get your head in the game." He looks out at the city, waiting for crime because it would eventually happen.

He decided to swing to another part of the city, maybe something was happening there.
He lands on a two story building, close enough to really see if anything happens, but where no one would notice him.
"Come on, please I want something to happen."

"Most hero's are happy with no crime." He turns around to see Deadpool.

"Go away, I don't want to deal with you."

"Why? You want something to happen, well i'm something, I can cause a trouble or fix it." He giggles.

"No. I just want to not think about my personal life at the moment."

"Why? Having problems with your girlfriend?"

"That's the problem, I don't have one."
He mumbles something that Deadpool couldn't hear and then swings away.
But the chaotic character wasn't letting him get away that easily, and follows him.
Spider-Man lands on a tall building and feels safe to check his phone.
He sees another comment on the post he shared.
"I haven't seen you in a while, but I remember you having a nice 🍑"

"Oh my god, Wade." He rolls his eyes, but had a blush hidden under his mask.
"I swear he's just as bad as Deadpool."

"Who's bad like me?"

"Ah!" He jumps back from the anti-hero. "How did you find me?"

"I have my own spidey sense, I will always find that ass."
He was so glad he had his mask on, Deadpool couldn't see his bright red face.
"I may be single, but I'm not desperate." Spider-Man said sternly.

"Well maybe the person you were talking about might be better."

"I doubt it. But..." he goes silent, thinking.

"I'm sensing some tension in you. Want me to help release it?" Deadpool was close to Spider-Man now, pressing him against the wall.
"Get away from me."

"Make me." He holds the hero by his waist, knowing full well that he could break his hand.
"Or do you want me to continue?"
He was thrown back and Spider-Man stands firmly.
"Don't touch me." He swings away after that.

Peter got back home, feeling conflicted. He goes back to the comment wade left and noticed that he was having an argument with Harry.
"Dude I get that you're gay, but Peter doesn't have an ass." Said Harry.

"And why would your straight ass comment about a guys ass in the first place?" Wade retorts.

"Just making an observation, and you're not Peter's type, he likes pretty boys."

"Oh my god, Harry you're so wrong." He comments to make the two stop.
A few minutes later, Wade sends him a message.
"Wanna make Harry really mad?"