Finding Home

Chapter Thirty Four-Nathan

There was nothing quite like holding Paige in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder as they swayed to the music. He breathed in her scent like he had been starved of oxygen, committing it to memory. He had forgotten just how incredible it was. Jasmine and Pine mixed with wood smoke. A man could live forever with only her scent to sustain him. Well, Nathan could live forever.

The world felt right. The emptiness he had felt since he stepped off the plane at Logan International Airport five years ago was gone. The immediate drive to get home to his brother that pushed him to leave without thinking was gone the moment they had landed and he was consumed with thoughts of her. When they found out that his brother was gone, all he wanted was Paige. She had helped him come back after losing his mother and he wanted her to help keep him together after losing his brother.

Somehow the fact that he was next to be Alpha and that she was human wiggled into his mind. When he saw the state of things in his pack and the destruction that they were facing from the rouges he knew he couldn't bring her into this. He wrote and deleted an email to her a thousand times. In the end, he decided that short and simple would be the best. A quick pull on the band-aid and it'd be done.

Paige,
I'm sorry, I had to go and I can't explain why. I will always cherish the time I spent with you. I wish you the best life has to offer.
Take care,
Nathan

He sent the email and deactivated the account he sent it from and regretted it everyday since. Once the rouges had been taken care of he thought about looking for her. Did she go to London like they had planned? Was she happy? Had she moved on? If he was honest, it was that last one that stopped him from looking for her. He didn't think he could bear it if she had moved on with out him.

He tried to date other females, he met every eligible unmated female in his new and growing pack, he'd go to inter-pack events and look for his mate but no other female he was ever with could hold a candle to Paige. All the other females were stars and Paige was the northern lights. Even the memory of her was brighter than any other female. Now that he had her in his arms again he knew why.

Paige had always been his comfort, his home. As the sun set and the light of the moon shone on them, a feeling of safety overcame him. He was safe with Paige, no matter what happened. He'd felt it since she helped him through a panic attack in Bangkok. He was so alone, so afraid but she came and calmed him down. When she put her hand on his chest and picked up his to put it on hers, he felt anchored. She helped him in his weakest moment, she protected him from becoming his worst self. He smiled at the memory.

As if she could sense it, she asked, "What?"

"Hmm?" He was so lost in the moment and memory that it took him a moment to think about what she was saying.

"You're smiling at something. What is it?" He could hear the smile in her voice.

"How can you know I'm smiling at something? You're not even looking at me."

She pulled her head away and looked at him, "I can feel you. What were you smiling at?"

"I was just thinking about how safe I feel with you." A smile graced her face. It was the smile she had only for him. The ground seemed to sway below him as he went weak in the knees. All tension fled as he looked at that smile. He would burn the world just to keep her smiling at him like that.

"You feel safe with me?"

"I've only ever felt safe when I'm with you. Ever since you helped be through that panic attack in Bangkok, you remember? You held my hand to your chest and made me match your breathing. You kept back the terror that was about to overwhelm me. My pain was so great then that Malcolm was going to take over just to get it to stop, and then you came in the room, I was so afraid that I was going to shift and hurt you. But you stopped him, you brought us back. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm both soaring through the clouds and utterly grounded. Like nothing could ever go wrong. I feel safe and loved and protected. I feel like..." He trailed off. Words failed him. There wasn't a word that contained the multitude of feeling he wanted to convey.

He looked out at the view as if he could find the word out there, "I feel like..."

"Home," she said quietly, gazing out at the view below them.

He looked back at her, "Yeah, I feel like home. You feel like home. I'm home when I with you."

She looked up at him, "You feel like home to me too."

Heat bloomed in his chest. Her words flamed the fire of his love and devotion, and reignited the fire of his desire. He leaned down slowly, waiting to she if she would respond to his unspoken question. She reached up to him hesitantly. She looked into his eyes searching for something. She must have found it, because she leaned into him. He saw her movement and met it with his own.

When their lips met it was like fireworks. Sparks fanned out from where they met and spread through out his body. He let go of her hand and placed it on her cheek, the other was still on her waist and he used it to pull her closer. She hugged him to her. Every cell was alive, every neuron was firing, every moment extended into infinity.

He broke the kiss so they could catch their breath. He rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. They were both breathing heavily. "I love you Paige," he said between breaths. "Utterly, completely, and entirely. Everything that I am is yours. I give you all of me. Whether your wolf shows up or not. Whether you stay with me or not. I am yours. I will never want another, I will never be with another. I will be yours, always and forever. From now until the end of time."

He pulled back so he could look her in the eyes. Holding both her hands in his he said, "I will never regret anything as much as I regret leaving you. It was the worst decision I have ever made, but I believe that the goddess has given us a second chance, has given me a second chance. I won't ask you to stay just for me. I know your choice is bigger than that. But I promise you, if you choose to stay, if you choose me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will submit to you and live every day earning your forgiveness."

A/N I've linked the Spotify playlist I made for this chapter. It's in the link section by the share stuff. Enjoy!