Finding Home

Chapter Forty Six-Paige

"Are you sure about this?" her mother asked for the hundredth time. "Maybe there are other ways, there's  still two months left before the bond will fade completely. That's plenty of time to find something."

Paige sighed. She had had this conversation with her mother three times just this morning. She grabbed her suitcase and walked out to car. "Yeah mom. I'm sure. I can't stay. I've got a job and responsibilities in London. I've already been here long enough. Besides, I don't want to wait until the fall to do my defense. The committee will be leaving for the summer holidays soon. I've got to get back and get it done. I can't keep my life on hold anymore." She put her bag in the car and closed the door.

"You can go do your defense and come back, you can still-"

"I can't Mom!" She cut her off, turning back to her mother. "I can't stay here. I can't spend the next two months with him for it to not work. If I do I will stay here forever."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"If the bond fades and he's mated to someone else then yes! I can't fall even more in love with him only to lose him in the end. No, it's better this way. The bond will fade and he'll find someone else. He'll be happy and I'll survive." She forced her voice to be firm even as she fought to keep her tears from falling.

"There's more to life then just survival." Her mother said softly, a final plea to get her to stay.

"I know, I know that. And maybe I would have found that before I met him, but now the best I can do is survive." She hugged her mother fiercely. "I'll be okay mom. It's not like you'll never see me again. I will survive this. I love you."

"I love you too, my dear girl." They pulled away and Paige opened the car door.

"I've got to go. Tell Micah goodbye for me and tell dad-" she paused, trying to think of something to say before she realized that there was nothing she wished to say to her father. "I don't really care what you tell him. Tell him anything you want so he doesn't take it out on you." She leaned forward and kissed her mother on the cheek. She climbed into the passenger seat as Sophie got into the driver's. Sophie knew nothing they said could change her sisters mind so she had watched the scene with quiet resignation.

"Love you, bye." Her mother smiled.

"Love you, bye," she said back. Sophie started the car and pulled out of the driveway. Paige took a big breath and let it out at once to steady herself. They drove out of town towards Boston. Her plan was to get there and get on the plane before Nathan even knew she was gone. She had written a letter for Sophie to give to him once she got back to the pack. If she calculated the timing correctly, it would take as long for Sophie to drive back as it took her to get through security and boarded on the plane. She'd be in the air before Nathan had a chance to beg her to stay. Nathan begging was the only way she would do it. She knew that and took steps to prevent it. Last night being one of them.

She hadn't intended to stay the night with him. She was only planning on a simple dinner that would serve as a final goodbye. A happy memory to leave on, but when he kissed her like that she couldn't keep her desire for him away. She deepened their kiss and let go of her inhibitions. Just for one night, she let herself have what she wanted more than anything. She let herself love him and let him love her in return.

It was perfect, the perfect goodbye. She felt bad that he didn't know it was goodbye. He must have thought it was the beginning of something more. It was cowardly and she knew it but she couldn't face him. When he asked if he'd see her later her resolve almost broke. She couldn't face him and instead said the same thing she had said to him after their very first kiss. He asked for more and she told him "In your dreams."