TALK TO ME

GIVING UP

SUMMARY

"I love you and I want you to know that" I said smiling at her

-You are finding an end to an endless pit- I thought still smiling at Hayley.

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BLAISE'S POV

More days have passed, and Hayley stopped going to school to stay by me, my mind has been foggy for most of the time I would feel sick, puking or passing out. We have been trying all the rituals possible but none of them work they just make my condition worse by the day.

It was Saturday, we decided to watch a movie in the room, "Are you hungry" they asked me standing up from the bed, "No thanks" I answered paying attention to the screen in front of me, I heard a sigh coming from them I could only feel bad to have put them through this kind of relationship. a few minutes later Hayley came back upstairs with some snacks "Hamburgers" they announced trying to get my attention but that only made my stomach churn in disgust and made me puke.

"You haven't eaten in days but your body keeps finding something to reject," they said with a hint of fear covering their voice, my breath was shortened and my body was fatigued by the force of something coming up from my mouth, "I can't anymore," I said breaking down in tears, "Yes you can" Hayley objected angrily at my statement, tears were falling down from my face from the frustration "I need to stay alone," I asked walking to the room.

"She left and walked to the living room giving me some space, that's when the voices decided to reappear in my head "You are useless, you should end it, you aren't good enough" and so on, the words were eating me alive making me feel as if there was nothing and nowhere to go to for me, so I decided to walk to the bathroom again.

I opened the top shelf and brought out a shard of glass I had been hiding from Hayley, I removed my shorts and placed myself in the bathtub, for every sentence they would say I would make a deep cut in my inner thigh, "You should kill yourself" and that was one cut, "she doesn't want you" the second cut, "Nobody wants you" the third one, "They think you are annoying" the fourth and so on, by the end both my thighs had in all up to sixteen cuts on them, some deep while others shallow, some were straight going towards the up while other going horizontal.

Before I could lose my senses because of the blood loss, I turned on the tap waters and left it to engulf my body, my vision disappeared making everything go blank and quiet. "Peaceful" was my last thought before I fainted.

HAYLEY'S POV

She has been in my room for like an hour now, there was too much silence for me and that made me feel somehow so I went to the room but couldn't find her until I heard one of the tap water holes pouring from the bath 'she is bathing' I thought sitting on the bed. Another half hour passed but no sign of Blaise so I entered the room.

Her body was submerged in water, red water, she looked palled out, the water was freezing when I put my hands in it to drag her body out of it, my ear was on her chest trying to get any kind of noise through it but nothing, so I started doing some CPR on her, for minutes nothing was working and I was giving up, she felt cold but warm at the same time, she wasn't breathing and there was no sign or spasm coming from her body, "Please, wake up" I begged feeling tears falling down my cheek.

I have been practising CPR on her body for five minutes until she reacted by throwing up water and dragging heavy amounts of hair in her body, I was shocked and happy about it but before I was able to ask her anything she grabbed the piece of glass and tried to stab it in her leg again "What the fuck are you doing?" I asked shocked by the action slapping her hand away.

Her head turned towards me facing mine, no answer just a stare that didn't look like hers, her eyes looked different even though they were the same.

I got the phone in my pocket and dialled 911 explaining what had happened, the operator sounded shocked by the fact that she was still alive and I couldn't blame her.

The ambulance arrived and took us both to the hospital, she was admitted and taken to surgery because of some damage she caused to her lungs and her cuts. I was waiting on the chair in the waiting area when Mia and Jade stomped towards me "What did you do to her?" her cousin asked me, I looked as if I killed someone, "Nothing" I answered with no energy, she slapped me and asked me to leave the place, I remained there and waited.

A few hours later they brought her to her room, they said her body almost gave up during the procedure and now she had to be stuck to multiple machines just to make sure to give her a higher probability of living.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have allowed you" I sobbed resting my head on her limp hand, I broke down in tears and just waited for her.