POV: Nyoka
I should tell her.
I really need to tell her.
I can’t let her do this without knowing.
Celeste has barely been talking to me since she drove me to her place as she got off early from work and I've just been feeling more and more sick as I know I should tell her.
She'll find out sooner or later and I'd prefer to tell her now before she takes the chance to fuck up everything even more by confronting my ex, my old 'friends' and my mother, all of them homophobic to some degree.
I just have no idea how to bring it up, especially when Celeste is just brushing me off whenever I try to talk.
She's basically locked herself in her home office and I can hear her constantly talking to people through her phone through her door. She's been basically yelling at them but her voice is so muffled that I can barely understand any of it.
After a couple of hours she finally leaves her office, passing by the living room where I'm sat, and have been for the past hour, waiting for her.
"Celeste, wait," I say, chasing after her as she strides to the front door, definitely about to leave.
She doesn't even slow down as I call out for her, only stopping and looking at me when I grab her wrist, physically tugging her back.
"I have to go, princess," she utters, brushing my hair behind my ear. "I'll be back in a few hours, I promise-"
"Just let me talk to you for a minute," I interrupt, dragging her into the living room, ignoring her as she keeps insisting that she needs to go.
I sit her down on her couch, sitting beside her, taking a deep breath as I think about how to start the conversation.
"Celeste, you remember a few weeks ago when that pregnancy test came up negative?" I ask, beginning to twist my fingers nervously.
She nods but bumps her knee up and down, clearly wanting to leave rather than talking to me right now. I place my hand on her leg to stop her and drag her focus back to me.
"Of course I remember. I was relieved when it came out as negative, and so were you," she finally says. "Why are you bringing this up now?"
How do I say it?
The words just get stuck in my throat alongside the vomit that has been building ever since my encounter with my ex. I fold over, throwing up over my own lap, my throat burning as Celeste supports me, suddenly panicked.
"Jeez, Nyoka, are you okay?" She asks, helping me sit up and wipe my lips.
"Sorry, just morning sickness," I chuckle.
I've been able to hide how many times I throw up per day from her but it has been becoming more difficult as I've been throwing up even more. I'm surprised she hasn't caught me throwing up sooner.
The name morning sickness is a complete fucking lie. One time I had to rush into the bathroom at work so I could throw up in peace since no one other than me knows.
"Wait, what?" Celeste asks.
"As I was about to say, it was wrong," I say, my voice hoarse and scratchy. "I'm pregnant."
"Shit, Nyoka, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Celeste demands making me flinch back.
I know she’s stressed but I'd hoped that she'd be a bit more supportive than she's being now. I'd hoped that she'd hug me and comfort me and tell me everything's going to be alright but instead she's just making me feel worse about everything.
As she starts complaining at me about not telling her sooner it makes my heart ache. I rub my eyes a I begin crying, trying my best not to annoy her anymore than I already have with my hitching breathing.
"I'm sorry..."
"Just...we'll talk about this more later," she says, running her hand through her hair. "Try and get some sleep, I'll be back in a few hours. We can talk about this tomorrow if you want to but I need to go now. Goodnight, Nyoka."
She leaves, ignoring my muttered pleas for her to stay a little longer and comfort me. She doesn't even glance in my direction as she leaves, so all I hear is the front door as it slams behind her and her car driving away.
I have to stop myself from throwing up again as I stand, supporting myself with the furniture as I go to clean myself up.
I know Celeste is just stressed but she just made me feel even worse than I already did. I've basically accepted it and have been making myself feel better with the thoughts of Celeste caring for me but with her response now I can't help but reconsider everything.
I still love her deeply but if she keeps talking to me like that I don’t think I'll be able to deal with her anymore.
I don't want it to come to that but at this rate it might.
****
Okay,
Completely unrelated to this part of the story but do you guys have any clue how to come out to parents?
My sisters already know that I'm gay and so do my friends but I want to tell other people in my family.
My mum would probably be supportive but it isn't a topic she really talks about much so I don't fully know her opinion on it.
My dad is a tad bit homophobic at times (not from hate, more like from ignorance but he's too stubborn to even try to listen or try to understand even if I did try to explain it to him) so I don’t really know how to talk about it to him especially. My older sister, who is asexual, agrees that it would he near pointless to try and explain anything LGBTQIA+ to him so I don't know if I want to come out to him just yet in case he starts treating me differently.
My mum should be fine but I'd still appreciate some ideas of how to come out to her, at least.
Thanks and I really appreciate all the support you've all been giving my works! I love reading your comments (a lot of them are quite funny to read)!
:))
YOU ARE READING
Her Inked Scars
General Fiction"Don't worry, princess. I'll be gentle with you," Celeste whispers in my ear as I whimper into the crook of her neck, hiding the flush of my face as she bumps her knee between my thighs. As I sit on her lap, trying to keep quiet, I can feel her gett...
