Mossdapple's Faith

Chapter 23

   "How have you been doing? We haven't talked in a while."

Mossdapple followed closely behind Stonefur. He was taking her to collect herbs. Greenleaf had brought plenty of growth, and Mossdapple had a full night's rest the day before to take advantage of it.

"I've been alright," Mossdapple mewed.

"Just alright?"

"A bit tired, I guess."

Stonefur kept walking in silence. They arrived at a patch of golden flowers.

"Perfect, we're low on tansy," Mossdapple began to pick it by the stems.

"Is it important?"

Mossdapple sighed. "It's for greencough. It's very important."

"I thought that was catmint," Stonefur shrugged.

"Catmint is better, but harder to get."

"Weird," Stonefur mewed. He joined her in picking the flowers.

"How have you been?" Mossdapple prompted.

"Honestly," he mewed, taking a deep breath. "Worried."

"What about?"

"You."

Mossdapple stopped picking the tansy. "Me? Why?"

"You're always in StarClan."

Here we go.

"Why are you always there?"

"I have training."

"Not every night, surely."

"Well, I train with Snowfur and Cloudberry. If I'm not with them, I'm just living there. There are good resting places, good hunting, and I have friends there."

"I see," Stonefur nodded. "You have a whole other life up there."

"I do," Mossdapple sighed. "I wish everyone else understood that."

"I don't think it's that they don't. We just worry about you. You don't look so good."

"I'm only there a few moons a night," she lied.

"That's not true," Stonefur scowled. "Two mentors and a double life? You'd have to be there more often."

"Not you, too," Mossdapple let out a deep sigh, not bothering to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "Nobody gets it."

"You have a life here, too." He looked at her with eyes as round as the moon. "You have friends and kin that miss you. You always seem so distant."

"I don't want to hear it," Mossdapple hissed. "Let's go."

Mossdapple picked up her pile of tansy and broke into a run back to camp.

"Mossdapple!" Stonefur called. She kept running. She heard him follow closely behind.

She stopped running just before they entered the camp.

"Take the herbs to my den."

"Mossdapple-"

"Don't. Just leave me alone."

She entered the camp. Stonefur stayed put, staring at her. She didn't look back.

Stupid furball! she thought. And I thought he understood me.

Mossdapple put the herbs in a neat pile next to the herb store and curled up in her nest. She heard Stonefur enter the clearing and then leave again. She opened her eyes to see his pile of tansy laying next to hers. Irritated, she tucked her tail over her nose and went to sleep.

Mossdapple woke up in StarClan and started walking. She didn't know where she was going, just that she wanted to be alone.

"Mosspaw?"

She spun around. "It's Mossdapple," she corrected, irritation prickling at her paws. Birchface was the last tom she wanted to deal with right now.

"Mossdapple," he corrected. "Are you okay?"

"No," she spat. "Just go away!"

He looked at her with hurt eyes. Guilt washed over Mossdapple, but she was too frustrated to care. She broke into a run through the trees.

"Help!"

Mossdapple stopped in her tracks, skidding nearly into a tree. She looked around for the source of the noise.

"Robinwing is kitting!"

Mossdapple opened her eyes and found herself back in ThunderClan. Fuzzypelt was yowling from the nursery.

Mossdapple quickly grabbed a stick and raspberry leaves from the medicine stores and rushed into the nursery. Spottedleaf and Featherwhisker were still out collecting herbs. She was on her own.

"Mossdapple," Robinwing exhaled. "Where's Featherwhisker?"

"It's just me," Mossdapple muttered, pushing the stick next to her muzzle and placing a paw on her belly. The only time she had witnessed a kitting had been Darkstripe, who had become a warrior just a few sunrises before.

"There will be two kits," she muttered.

"What?" Robinwing mewed. "Speak up."

"There will be two kits!" Mossdapple hissed. "They're coming quickly."

"StarClan help me," Robinwing sighed, flopping on the moss.

Mossdapple wriggled into position to catch the kits.

"Push!"

Robinwing let out a yowl, and a kit toppled out on to the moss. It was a dark brown tom. He let out a pitiful wail and Mossdapple placed him by Robinwing's belly.

"He's perfect," Robinwing whispered. She let out another yowl of pain.

A second kit slid out on to the moss. This one was a black tom. He wasn't breathing.

"Is he okay?" Robinwing wailed.

Mossdapple grasped the kit between her paws and started performing compressions on its chest. It felt like a moon passed by the time the kit let out a gasp.

"He's fine," Mossdapple sighed in relief. She placed the second kit next to his brother and they started suckling.

"You saved my kit." Robinwing stared at her.

"I did what any medicine cat would do," Mossdapple retorted. She called in Fuzzypelt.

"They're perfect," he whispered, gazing at his new kits. "They're absolutely perfect."

"You're so much like Bluestar," Robinwing mumbled.

"Me?"

"Yes," she muttered, dozing off.

Mossdapple shook her head to clear it. "She's going to need to rest," she told Fuzzypelt, her ears hot. "Let her sleep. I'll come check on her in a bit."

"Thank you," Mossdapple." Fuzzypelt touched her ear with his tail and got comfortable next to his mate.

Mossdapple nodded and left the nursery. Being in there made her nostalgic for her own kithood. She remembered playing with her siblings, fighting over scraps of moss and fur while Bluestar watched. A wave of sadness hit her.

Would things ever be the same again?