The Giants Dragon (Loki x Fem reader)

Chapter 14: Waiting

(Y/n) Pov

No one ever explains the phenomenon of death. Or the phenomenon of never existing in the first place. At least, no one explained it to me. Destiney holds all things in her hands, no matter how unexpected they seem or how awful. She knows. I remember in my past years of life I would conduct rituals and sacrifices asking Destiney to protect my people and race. I had asked her to hold the hearts of my loved ones, and to guard the souls of my family and that family's family. 

Light surrounded me and I stare in complete shock. Souls all held together by the ropes of Destiney herself. She was at the center of it all. Destiney. When Thanos had destroyed the universe, he had brought forth an unbalance so great that it took every last drop of power Destiney had to keep it together. Without her, no one would be here now. She gathered the destroyed souls into her arms, letting us sleep in blissful ignorance. Until... until what?

These past years had been the same. I had only now just come to the realization of how important this sanctuary was. It wasn't an afterlife; it was a type of holding place for the destroyed souls. Everyone effected by this unraveling ended up here, it's like a waiting room. I watch as my people live their best lives... yet they are not living at all; it's more like existing. I have no idea how my people made it here, or even why Destiney would've held them here for so long. 

But I... I miss my real family. I miss Bruce, Natasha... even Tony. Tears burn my eyes as I think of the raven-haired god that I had hurt countless times now. When I was alive, I knew what love was, but I had never fully experienced it for myself. Now that I was stuck here, devoid of every emotion I sometimes wonder if somewhere... someone had the heart that I didn't. Sometimes, I could feel it, a heartbeat of some sort at least. I can feel it, I can feel him sometimes. 

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Loki POV

It has been 5 years since what Midgard has called the Blip. My brother Thor has been away on New Asgard with the remaining Asgardians. He hasn't been seeing anyone and he has let the trauma and guilt win. Everyone has, honestly. That witch, Wanda hasn't been seen since the death of Vision. The Avengers, at least what's left of them, dispersed while I isolated myself in a beautiful little fjord in Norway. 

Midgard hasn't completely healed from Thanos, I doubt it ever will. I stare over the fjord and touch the glass windows that separated me from the beauty of the Earth around me. 

"This feeling that you have... is your fault." I grit my teeth and clench my fist against the window. "That feeling of emptiness, anger... it hurts doesn't it?"

"Leave me alone you bastard!" I whirl around to see... me. At least, an illusion of me. 

"No can do, I'm afraid.", he sighed hitting me with MY signature smirk. He has been my constant companion ever since (Y/n) was killed. He is my punishment for my selfishness, my judge for my crimes... and if this goes on any longer, he will be my executioner.  

"Please... there is nothing I can do. I couldn't save her, she is dead!" I didn't mean to yell, but my reflection remains unfazed. Instead, he only gives me a knowing smirk and chuckles. "Leave me!" I screamed.

He lifts his hands in mock surrender before he faded out of my imagination. It was three years until I was able to see her face, but I pushed her away. Now, that she was finally gone forever, the only thing I could push away now was her memory. 

"L-Loki?" I tense and shake my head. No, no, no. "Loki." It's her voice, but it's my torture. These nightmares have been my constant companions for these last five years. "Loki please! Don't push me away." I grab a crystal glass and hurl it toward her. It passes through her, "It wasn't your fault." She said softly, walking towards me. My knees buckle and I sink. She comes closer and I lean my forehead against her stomach, letting her stroke my hair. 

"Why?" I almost sob. "Why did you have to go? Why didn't you come back to me?" She only stares down at me. I never understood why I tortured myself like this. I used to create illusions of her for the soul purpose of hating her. Over time, her illusions just started randomly appearing. At first, I welcomed the challenge, welcomed the excuse to hate someone and have someone hate me. But she never did, she would only stare and endure my constant accusations, and when I would finally break down... she'd hold me until I came to my senses, then she'd be gone. 

"Loki." I rise quickly and whirl around, conjuring daggers. My surprise must've shown on my face when I saw Thor. He looks behind me, and his eyes widen. "(Y/n)..." 

I shake my head, "No, just a cheap magicians trick." Thor takes several steps forward and lightly touches her arm, before she disappears in a fade of green. 

"You haven't been doing well?" I didn't have to answer that. He comes closer to me, "We can save her, Loki." His voice is low. "We know how to retrieve the stones. We can reverse it; you could save her." My world shrinks so small, it seems that only Thor and I populate it.

"Save her..." I turn to look at my brother, one of the only people who I could trust my life with. "We, could save her?"

"Yes, her and all of the Universe." Thor comes closer to me and lays his hand on my shoulder. "We, the Avengers, we have a plan. We have all lost someone, but we will get them back." I sigh and look him up and down. He had changed, and it looked like it was for the worst. "Loki..."

"I will come." I cut him off.   

"Good, because we actually need you for this and if you wouldn't come, we'd have to take you by force." I tilt my head and smirk. (Y/n)... we will meet once again. 

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"Okay, so... we are going to shrink into tiny things... travel back in time... and un-Thanos the universe..." I said while pacing back and forth. Thor sat on a chair, watching me carefully. "And, that will save (Y/n)?" 

"For the hundredth time, Loki... yes!" Thor rubbed his head. "Mr. Stark has created a device that will let us return to the past and regain the stones." I rub my hands together anxiously, "We have all lost, Loki. (Y/n)s death was a weight that burdens us all, we will get her back." I sigh and glance sideways, for a second. I can see my alter ego leaning against a wall, smirking. I don't see (Y/n) though, and my heart races.

"We will save her." I turn to the sound of Natasha's voice, she looked haggard and worn. Her hair was longer than the time I had last seen her. Her eyes had taken on a deep sense of grieving, after (Y/n) left... Natasha and I had been there to comfort each other. We both had something in common besides our love for (Y/n), it was the fact that both of us had large amounts of guilt from our past lives.

Starks voice buzzed over the intercom, "Everyone to the Time chamber Room... lets fix this shit." Here we are, a room full of powerful people... about to undo the worst thing that had happened in our lives. I stride into the room, eyes widening when I see the piece of equipment that lie in the room. I stare down at my body, I was in a hideous suit colored in red, black, and white fabric.

We all stood on the mechanical platform. All of us... as a team...? The word "team" almost made me gag. My eyes glance over the rest of the Avengers, all of them had the same grim-faced expression.  I take a deep breath and gaze around, "Alright, we get in, we get the stones. In and out." Bruce taps out a command on his console, and it isn't long till I am swept into a void of distorientation.

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(Y*!*^%^#?!&) POV

Days. Months. Hours. Who am I? What. Am. (Y/n)! NO. Breaking. Shattering. AHH! Pain. No pain. Lights. Screaming. Acceptance. Depression. Help. Me. Please.

(Y/n). My name is (Y/n)... calm down.

She..... me... whoever I am. I can't live like this anymore. The darkness is all consuming, all taking. I don't know who I am anymore, there's to many. She can't contain them all. Destiney is weak, but something is stirring with the folds of time. Someone... is changing Destiney.