The Giants Dragon (Loki x Fem reader)

Chapter 18: Nothing

Loki POV

It's been three weeks since bringing everyone back, the Avengers have settled into a temporary routine that consists of therapy and heavy amounts of training. I have been in and out of the Compound like my brother, going back and forth between New Asgard and here. My arm, though still in pain, has healed quite nicely thanks to my being divine and so on. However, the scarring is dark and honestly hideous, so I have begun to wear shirts where my right arm is fully covered.

As of the moment, I'm watching her. I do not need to elaborate on exactly who I'm watching, because it's obvious. Right now, she's with Banner working on a math problem or whatever as Natasha watches. Those three have become inseparable, delaying my conversations with her all these weeks. 

"Who are you?" 

I shudder at the sinking feeling in my stomach. That night I entered her mind and searched, and searched... Nothing. Not even her heart remembers me, it's as if Thanos himself erased me from her history entirely. I tilt my head as I watch her smile at Natasha, my hands clench into fists and I look away. As of now, she knows me as Loki the Tricky God with a tricky past. She knows so little of me, while I know almost everything about her... Heh, I feel like a stalker whenever I think of her.  Like right now for instance, she's singing that little song she used to sing when she is happy... 

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6 years ago...

"We were playing in the sand.... And you found a little band... You told me that you fell in love with it, hadn't gone as I planned..." (Y/N)'s voice sang low and quiet as she played with some equation on the hologram.

"What in the ten hells possessed you to sing that song on repeat?" I groan as I watch her, bored out of my mind. "I swear, Midgardian have entire decades worth of music and you chose that? "I shift my position on the couch so I could see her over the book I was reading. "You have the Beatles, Michael Jackson, Journey, I'll even except Beyonce or Taylor Swift." She laughs and turns to face me, her (e/c) eyes sparkling. 

She makes an exasperated eye roll as she finishes the equation and starts a new one, "Out of all the amazing books and plays you could read, and you chose Romeo and Juliet?". She looks over her shoulder at me.

"It's a classic, a Shakespearian tragedy, romantic, and they both die in the end. Easy 10 out of 10." I retort, casually flipping to the page where Juliet stabs herself. (Y/N) chuckles and I nod in approval. I hope we can continue our banter for years to come...

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Present Day

I was a fool. I fool for love, a fool for her. Suddenly I sense something is off, then I blink. I am making full eye contact with her and am just realizing I have been making eye contact with her for a while now. I look away, then teleport the nearest place out of sight... I am so dead.

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(Y/N) POV

It's been a while since we brought everyone back together, honestly, it's been nice. Banner's inner nerd was coming to life as Natasha and I laughed at his dorkiness. I chuckle as Banner circles his final answer and bows to us, "...And that is the mathematical reasoning of how Hans Solo shot first." Natasha and I applaud as he bows once again.

"I'll still say he shot second just to annoy you, Dear." Natasha teases as Banner gives her a warning glare. 

I get up and take Dads hand, "Well, I agree with Dad. Nerds of the Force unite!" 

Banner chuckles and shyly replies, "Yeah, what she said...". Natasha rises from her spot and gives her adorkable husband a chaste kiss. 

"Well... While you nerds drool over Hans and Star Trek or anime, I'm getting ice cream."  She smiles and turns her back as she makes her way to the kitchen, with her lovesick husband close behind her. I smile at their retreating backs, then begin to hum a tune as I begin to clean up the soda cans and Chinese takeout my dad ordered before Tony can come in and sue us. 

These three weeks have been more or less blissful. Pietro and Wanda left with Bucky back to Wakanda to help with her trauma while the rest stayed here at the Compound. Thor has been in and out, coming back and forth from New Asgard then to here. Loki as also been coming back and forth, but whenever he visits, he avoids almost everyone especially me. Not that I mind however, he isn't that important. My mind fills with random thoughts as I try to figure out what exactly I could have sacrificed to Destiney to bring Natasha and Gamora back. My Dragonborn form is still here despite being dormant, my intelligence is the same, my family, and my memory has never been better.

As I finish, I look up and make eye contact with him, Loki the God of Tricks. Something tells me he's been staring for a while and that he's lost in his own mind. I stare back because I can and there's no one here to stop me. Loki is lost in his mind, and I can't see what his minds holds, nevertheless everyone is entitled to their secrets.

When he blinks, I can see him regain his state of mind. His eyes widen as he comes to realize we have been making eye contact for a while now. He looks away, then disappears in a flash of green. Something about worries me, the fact that he always comes back to the Compound only to wander the halls. This isn't the first time I caught him watching me, there have been many other times too. I turn away from the place Loki stood, then head to my room. 

"(Y/n), where are you heading?" I hear my mom's voice from the kitchen.

"My room, I'm just going to relax." I answer, then I close my door. I sigh, knowing relaxing is the last thing I'll be doing as I lay down on my bed. I am the only one who hasn't gone to therapy out of the entire Avengers group, because of this I usually spend hours alone in my room. With Wanda gone, I have the ability to let my guard down slightly with my emotions. As I close my eyes, fully succumbing myself to the nightmares and anxiety, I pray a silent thank you that no one who can read minds were in the Compound.

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Loki POV

She's doing that thing again. The thing where she'll think, dream, and then drown. I have felt this many, many times from her. I know she doesn't do therapy, and with Wanda gone no one is left to rat her out... except for me. And as much as I hate the thought of her being in potential pain, I can't allow her to see me as anything more that The God of Mischief. 

"A-Ah, Loki." Banner's stutter has become a welcome sound as I turn to face him. It honestly feels nice, talking to him. "How's the arm?"

"Very well, thank you Banner." I nod.

"Bruce." He shrugs, "Unless you prefer, Banner, of course." 

"Bruce then." I nod, and he chuckles. When I shift my gaze back to (Y/N)'s room, his gaze follows mine. He knows of my feelings about his daughter, and surprisingly he supports them. When we found (Y/N) didn't remember me, we all agreed it'd be better if we all kept it that way. 

Bruce sighs, then looks at me, "Look, Loki... I know we all agreed that we wouldn't talk about what happened with you two before Thanos, but that doesn't mean you can't try again. She's still the same (Y/N) that you have grown to love." When he starts talking, I wanted to shut him down instantly. But the more I heard, the more I realized how right he was. She was the same, and I loved her. 

I turn to him, offering him a smile, "Thank you, Bruce...".