Bullet ✔️

Bonus: I do

I'd never been to a wedding without a camera in my hand. Even at my best friend's wedding I was looking at everything through the lens—before the bomb went off, of course. This time I was the one who was supposed to walk down the aisle in the perfect white dress, towards my perfect husband-to-be, and become a person I never thought I'd be.

A wife.

I always dreamed of it, of course, but having it happen in less than a week was unreal. I was so deep into planning everything to perfection that I hadn't stopped to think about the fact that it was happening; until I stepped back and looked at the final seating chart. Elina had helped me organize it, she'd told me about every little detail I needed to think about. Like aunt Donna, who couldn't sit next to the two women sharing their husbands without picking a fight. It was a lot to think about, but now it was finally done.

And I fell to my knees looking at it.

I'd made peace with my mom not being there to see me get married a few years ago, but not having dad there hit me harder than I expected. There was no seat reserved for him. For any of my own family, except Billy, who wasn't even technically my family.

It was a lot. It was too much. I couldn't breathe.

My lungs collapsed, making everything hurt. Moving the muscles in my arms to catch my fall as I leaned forward hurt. I lost control of myself and just laid there, face down on my knees, on the floor inside the office Damian made for me in his house—our house—sobbing.

I missed him so much. I still struggled with the guilt now and then, knowing he wouldn't be dead if I hadn't gotten involved with Damian; but then again he wouldn't have let me go once he found me, no matter when or where that happened.

If I hadn't met him, and Billy hadn't met his own match, maybe we would've been together now. We'd be sitting in dad's renovated kitchen, eating his favorite stew, fresh flowers from his girlfriend sitting on the table.. The fantasy was somewhat of a dream, but only because my dad was alive in it. Trading my life with Damian for his would've been a no-brainer, but I had to stop living in that fantasy. Damian made me happier than I could ever dream of, and I knew dad would be proud of the life I'd made without him.

So I had to keep going—to stay strong—to prove that he didn't die for nothing.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Damian put his arms around me and pulled me up against his chest. I didn't register the door opening, or his heavy footsteps.

I sniffled and braved a smile, my arms wrapping around him in an instant, just as his warmth seeped into my skin. "Nothing," I assured him. "I'm fine, I just freaked out not seeing a spot for my dad in our wedding."

Damian pulled me into his lap, holding me even tighter. "He'll be there," he whispered softly. "I have no idea what happens after death, but I choose to believe your parents and my mom are all watching us closely."

He kissed the top of my head, his hands caressing my hair and my back, as I slowly managed to get my breathing back under control. He was right. I didn't know what happened after death either, but I liked to think they saw us, and were proud of us. My business was booming, Damian was in charge of a whole lot of people and different businesses, The Gold Rose being the most lucrative one at the moment, and we were happy.

So I pulled back and sent him a small smile, then I placed a quick kiss on his lips, and my smile grew. "Thanks," I said, "you always make me feel better."

Then I got up on my feet and turned towards the door, making it all the way through and out into the hallway before his big hand wrapped around one of my wrists and his strength pulled me back around. His eyes were dark and gleaming with mischief, just as the side of his lips tilted up into his signature smirk.