you belong with me - Olivia Rodrigo

do you still like her?

During lunchtime in the school courtyard, Jenna, Iris, and I sat in a secluded spot underneath a large oak tree to enjoy the game we would play together most lunchtimes.

We sat in a circle, Jenna to my right and Isa on my left, our school bags and lunch boxes set aside. In the center, was a worn deck of cards, each of us held a hand in an intense game of Uno.

Jenna's knee was pressed against mine as she confidently slapped a wild card onto the pile, covering Isa's draw 4+ card.

"You can't do that!" Isa protested.

"Since when? You can place a wild card on anything!" Jenna argued, brushing off Isa's complaint.

"No, you can't. Pick up four cards," Isa insisted

Jenna ignore Isa. She snatched the wild card from Isa's hands and placed it onto the deck, "I choose red."

Isa looked at her incredulously and then looked towards me, "Y/N, she can't do that! She has to pick up four cards! Tell her!"

I was about to agree with Isa because she was right; you couldn't place a wild card on top of a draw 4. However, as I turned to Jenna to protest, I noticed that she was staring at me intensely.

She placed her hand on my knee, gently rubbing it, and coaxed, "Come on, Y/N/N, place a red card down if you have one." I found myself entranced by her gaze and the soft touch on my knee.

Those goddamn eyes.

Unable to resist, I relented and placed a red card on top of Jenna's.

Isa groaned in frustration and threw her head back, exclaiming, "This is so unfair! She's only letting you cheat because she has a fat crush on you!"

My face turned as red as the card I had just placed, and we all erupted into laughter.

"Basically everything changed since the day after you left"

Isa goes on to explain that at first, Jenna became noticeably less engaged in their conversations, often appearing zoned out and distracted. Slowly, she started to disappear during lunchtimes.

Their interactions grow even more distant, and Jenna eventually reached a point where she completely ignored Isa without any explanation.

Isa explains that the next year, there was a significant transformation in Jenna's appearance and social circles. Jenna shifted her style from light pastel colours to darker, edgier attire, predominantly black. She began spending her time with a different group of people, distancing herself from her previous friends.

The most surprising change of all is that Jenna got a boyfriend, a member of the basketball team who is friends with Josh.

I stopped listening when she mentioned 'boyfriend'. Jenna is dating someone else? and its a boy?

I couldn't blame her for moving on. I mean three years is a long time. But it all seems so out of character for her. Why would she just suddenly stop being friends with Isa? Why would she ignore me the day I come back?

Was she mad at me for leaving her in the first place? Did she realise that maybe she never loved me? Is she straight now? I had so many questions.

Isa's touch on my arm pulled me out of my thoughts, and her gaze was fixed on my face, searching for answers.

"Do you still like her?" she asked, her voice gentle and filled with curiosity.

I paused, allowing her question to settle in my mind. Did I still have feelings for my childhood friend, or was it all just a distant memory from when we were 14? Were those early emotions even real love, or just the intense infatuation of youth? She had been my first best friend, my first crush, and my first kiss.

"I'm not sure, Isa. It's been so long, and we were just kids back then. What I felt for her was real at the time, but I've grown and changed. She clearly has too. I don't know if those feelings are still the same."

Isa's eyes never left mine, and she spoke softly, "Its okay to not have all the answers right now. I'm just glad you're back here with me".

I nodded in appreciation of her understanding and support. I pulled her in for a hug. I'm grateful to have Isa at least.

--

I walk into my bedroom, dumping my backpack on the floor and laying down flat on the bed. I'm finding it hard to keep a certain girl out of my mind.

After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, I take out the box of memories from underneath my bed. Placing the bracelet from my backpack back in the box, I glance at the worn-out pack of Uno cards beside it, recalling the countless games and laughter Jenna, Isa, and I shared during my time in Westview.

What a stupid bracelet. I'm never falling in love again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot movement from my window. Looking up, I see the brunette girl in the house across from mine. Her curtains are wide open, and she's walking around the room, fidgeting with random objects while on the phone. She's smiling while talking. She must be talking to Josh. She hasn't noticed me yet.

Am I being a creep again? No, of course not. I'm allowed to look outside of my bedroom window. Who even designed this house anyways? Why is my window DIRECTLY in front of hers? Seems like a pervert planned it.

I couldn't help but watch her for a few minutes. She tosses her head back and opens her mouth wider when she laughs. She always has something in her hand, like a pen, and she's always twirling it while she talks. Sometimes, she's just holding her hands out, looking at her nails, or maybe just zoned out in her own world.

Woah what am I doing? What the fuck was that? okay now I am being kind of creepy. Pull yourself together y/n. Thank god she hasn't noticed me.

I walk out of the bedroom trying to find something else to do to pass the time.