you belong with me - Olivia Rodrigo

That was hot.

Once home, Olivia and I sit on the porch, and I bury my face into my hands "I can't believe she hid this from me"

Olivia squeezes my shoulder. "Sometimes people don't know how to ask for help. They try to handle things on their own, thinking it's the best way."

"Yeah by getting drunk every night. What a great way to handle it." I mumble

"You have every right to be upset, Y/N."

I look at Olivia, and she looks back at me with a sad smile. I lean on her shoulder, "What happens now?"

Olivia intertwines her fingers with mine. "I'm not sure. But I'm with you." I squeeze her hand in mine.

---

Mom and I had a long chat when she came home that night. She promised to come home straight after her shifts at the diner now. I encouraged her to join an AA support group, which she has been attending every week. Whenever she gets the urge to drink, she goes next door and hangs out with Jennifer who often keeps her busy with chores or watching dramas.

Olivia and Isa have been checking up on me regularly. Olivia often leaves funny notes on her window or calls me before bed.

Jenna also apologised and explained her family struggles to Isa, but she has kindly asked us to keep it between the three of us. Of course, we wouldn't spread private information like that.

In school, Olivia and I have kept up our fake relationship, which has honestly become one of the few things I look forward to every day - holding hands, sitting with each other at lunchtimes, and kissing in the hallways in front of Josh.

Olivia stands in front of me in the hallways, "What class do you have now?" She brushes a strand a hair behind my ear.

Olivia and I have become really touchy lately. This fake relationship has just become natural for us. I'm really going to miss this when she fake breaks up with me for Josh

I give her a lopsided smile, "I have gym with Isa. You?"

She sighs, "Maths, ugh. I wish you were in my maths class. I have no one to talk to there"

I rub her arm subconsciously, "Maybe you should be doing your maths work instead of trying to find someone to talk to"

She rolls her eyes, a smile on her face, "I'll see you at lunch."

She looks behind me for a second before looking at my eyes, "Josh is behind you. Kiss me?"

Well, she doesn't have to ask twice.

I hook my fingers around the belt loops of her jeans to pull her waist closer to mine. She wraps her arms around my neck, and our lips meet.

I'm REALLY going to miss this when Olivia fake breaks up with me for Josh.

I smile into the kiss, knowing that I'm enjoying this a lot more than I should be. Olivia feels my lips curl, and she smiles as well. We make out for a few more seconds, her hands running through my hair, and me squeezing her waist.

Finally, we pull away. Olivia smirking at my dishevelled appearance - swollen lips and messy hair. I quickly fix my composure and clear my throat before she turns and walks away.

I can't believe how many times I've kissed the most popular girl in school.

Isa walks up to me with an approving look on her face, "That was hot."

I ignore her comment and turn to my locker, smiling to myself. Isa leans in and speaks in a low voice, her eyebrow raised and her face showing suspicion.

"You guys have been fake dating for a long time now. I was convinced at the start but it's appearing more and more real every day to me"

I roll my eyes, brushing off her suspicions. "She only kissed me because Josh was behind me. It's all for show."

"Really? 'Cause I've been here the whole time, and I didn't see Josh"

I turn to Isa, confused. I look around the hallway, and to my surprise, there was no Josh. Huh, that's weird. Olivia said he was behind me. Maybe he left as soon as we started kissing.

Isa smirks and whispers in my ear, "Are you still sure it's all for show?"

I think about Isa's words. Did Olivia just use Josh as an excuse to kiss me? No way.

My heart skips a beat, but I brush off the feeling and Isa's comments. I can't be getting delusional, or it will just hurt my feelings even more.

--

Throughout the week, Olivia's behaviour becomes increasingly ambiguous. She lingers a little longer during our staged kisses, and her touches feel more genuine. At times, she looks at me with a certain softness in her eyes. It's confusing my emotions.

This is starting to feel way more real than it actually is and I'm starting to go crazy.

I find myself overanalysing every encounter with Olivia. During class, I make up fake scenarios of Olivia and me in my head, dreaming of taking her out on dates or kissing her.

I start to realise that my feelings were becoming stronger and stronger. This fake relationship might actually take a huge toll on me in the future.

Is there a chance that what Isa keeps saying might actually be true? Is Olivia starting to develop feelings for me the same way that I have for her?

My mom and I are over at the Rodrigo's again for dinner. After eating, Olivia and I wash the dishes then head up to her room, leaving mom and Jennifer downstairs.

We sit and talk for a while on her bed before I decide to bring up the question that's been occupying my head for a while now.

"Olivia," I start, my voice unsure, "there's something I've been thinking about."

"What's up?"

I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "We've been going at this fake relationship thing for a while now. Do you......do you still want Josh back?"

Olivia's expression shifts, and she pauses for a moment. "Do you still want Jenna back?" she asks, avoiding my question.

I think to myself. Do I want Jenna back? Or do I only want Olivia? I'm so confused.

The room fills with silence for a few moments, Olivia and I intensely staring at each other, searching for some sort of reaction.

"I don't know..." I say.

I get deja vu from one of our first conversations on Olivia's bed where we asked each other the same thing. Except that time I was sure that I wanted Jenna back.

Olivia looks down at her lap, biting her lip softly. For a split second, I see something on her face—disappointment. But I brush it off, thinking that I'm just overanalysing it. She shakes her head as if she's shaking her thoughts away, and she puts on a smile. The smile looks almost... forced?

"Yeah, I want Josh back"

I feel a pinch in my heart. I knew there was no way she would ever feel the same about me.

"Sorry that it's taking a bit longer than expected. But there are rumours going around that Josh and Maya broke up. So if we persevere a bit longer, he might ask me to get back together with him soon," she explains.

I muster up all the energy in me to avoid looking heartbroken. I feel like crying again, and I feel stupid for even having the slightest bit of hope that my love was requited.

I need to go home.

I make some lazy excuse about doing my maths homework and say goodbye to Olivia. I briefly excuse myself in front of Jennifer and my mom, before walking back to my house. When I walk into my room, I immediately close the curtains, crawl into bed, and let the tears spill.