After I finished the crepes Lillian had bought, I decided it was time to go home, so i began on my usual path lined with wildflowers. By the time i got home, it was already dark. Tiny fire bugs had started to come out. Dad would still be at the Ministry, working on some new goddamn case. Another night alone in the "home".
I played soft music before got in the shower, and felt my muscles start to relax slowly. Mom always made me shower before bed, even though I hated it. But now it's something I do religiously. I might forget to have breakfast but i can't forget to shower.
About an hour later I had changed and was in bed, waiting for sleep to take over. It wasn't instant but when I finally did go into slumber, it was that wretched dream again.
That day, I was home early from school, excited to show mom my test score. But all the excitement vanished when I set foot inside.
I found her on the floor, bleeding to death. One of her wings torn apart, life leaving her golden eyes. I rushed towards her with tear filled eyes. That's when I saw him. A gold dragon with sharp features staring at me intently.
I wanted to go after him, but I had more pressing matters to attend. She died in my arms. I watched her body turn lifeless.
From all the things a soul shouldn't experience, watching their mother die tops the list.
I felt numb. I couldn't process what had happened. I felt heavy, but no tears came. That's when the panic attacks began. At first I would only get pains in my chest, they would stop within a few minutes. But gradually, I began feeling sharp pains starting from my palm shooting up to my arm and chest.
That's what I felt when I woke up from the nightmare. A layer of sweat on my forehead. My breathing erratic, and hands shaking.
Dad was apparently home, and stood before me with a worried look plastered on his face.
"Have you not been meditating Orion?" He asked, handing me a glass of water.
"I have. I- I'm fine." My voice cracked.
He nodded and continued " I met Lillian today. Said she bought you crepes."
"Yes, I was in the meadow when she bought it."
"Orion, she's trying really hard to help you. If you just acknowledge the things she's doing for you, might help to make things go back to the way they were."
"Back to the way they were? Dad do you hear yourself? Everything's changed! She's gone. She's gone and she left a gaping hole in my life. I've been struggling with panic attacks and trying to feel something for the past year. And you act like it's not a big deal. Like what happened was normal. You wouldn't even get me on meds. And you have the audacity to tell me how I should act? Maybe you should go dad. I wanna be alone."
My head hurt from this whole conversation.
Yes he did look hurt. But right now, I needed someone to not criticize my every waking moment.
After that, I can't fall asleep. It's going to be a looong night.
YOU ARE READING
𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞~𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬
Fantasy"𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞." He seethed cold glare at us as he struggled to stand. His wings were torn but his ego was as gigantic as ever. It amazes me how he was still alive. He should have been dead. He...
