×°georgs little sister°×

Chapter 9 - The Shadow Is Back

I pull down my sleeve over my blood darkened arms, I let out a whine as the wool laced fabric stratches and tears the early formed scabs. I thought I wouldn't let myself get this bad again but I feel out of control. It's okay I'll just cover it and no one will see. I promise myself glancing back up at the mirror I groan hissing at the face that appears in front of me looking down on my traditional uniform of legging flares and a now commen long sleeve jumper healing the seasonal cold breeze in the air. A nock on the door snapped me out of the darkening stunnle that is my mental health problems. I turn to the door and stammer towoards it my hand shaking it's grip on the handle I open the door peering out georg looks down on his little girl. "we've got school, tom is driving us" I smile as my head is filled with his image, then my mind flashes in the direction of the man with the perfume of ciggerete and old coins the grip on my arm tightening and controlling my body. I hear footsteps and look beyond the door frame and as georg walks towoards the front door I battle my shoe laces.

The car drive is tense my eyes glued to bills dark eyeliner and grin in the downpointed mirror. Tom has a tight grip on my thigh as I bite at my sleeve looking along the lineing before noticing a blood stained patch against the grey fabric. I wave of instant panic floods through me I tune my head to tom and instantly hide my wrist my eyesight turning red as the veins in my neck tighten and contract. I see the lead up towoards the school and isgh of relief tom in the corner of my eye looking down at myself. God....this is why I didn't want to get bad again. My eyes begin to tear up.

As I walk into the average Tuesday morning in the high school of frankfurt Belgium, a beloved English lesson. Mr strang looks me up and down before grinning to himself, I shudder at his creepy demeanor and clearly predatory intensions. I take my seat next to Beverly in our shared seating plan I stare at the fractles of cracked glass In the window across from me looking out and on the barbed wire fence a form of protection and anti escape almost like the red marks serating the surfess area of protuding bones and oddly thin skin. My traumas and injuries are but a checkpoint for my mental illness not a starting or a sign leading up to these events, I guess it's just always been this way. I shake under the pressure of the rooms saddening atmosphere. And let out a few heavy sighs watching as the few dog walkers and joggers pass by within the lengthy and everlonging hour. Before I notice a familiar face exiting across the school grounds being followed by a dark shadowy figure. the zombie like female stature passes across the grass towoards the abandoned anddecaying bathroom I manage to make out the cruel face that is protected by her evil dirty hair I look down at myself with hatred then back to the window the evil girls eyes surpass my ability to comprehend how she was concidered perfect and me, dirty. She truly managed to make me feel guilty by just being sat in English like any other person. God why did she have to be so loved, was it because she managed to fool everyone with her perky anti depresent appearance. Her tanned skin was violent and harsh in contrast to her light eye makeup she shaded on herself to impress the boys she chased without seeming desperate but cute and flirtatious. I think about the man I love and why would he ever want me, was I just a choice to annoy others to hold on his arm like a trophy or was I only here to annoy my brother was that the only reason he "loved" me, I hang my head in a deep depression before looking back up at the evil girl who I was oddly so jealous of, Evie. She was now running catching the attention of the few fellow classmates of ours, as she became out of sight to us I managed to realise who the face of the man's tall figure was. My mouth opens in shock catching the attention of the few sat in eat shot I lean closer across teh table as my eyesight is blured by the tears fighting my closing eyelids quickly streaming down and hitting the hands wiping my red under eyes with deep violet undertones from another restless night. My mind flashes back to taht very night that set me back 10 steps in life, leaving em with perminent scars and bruises no amount of soap can rub away. My head aches and my legs long to leave this menacingly bright classroom. The man, no boy. The boy who attacked me and forced his newest shipment down my throat. I thought he was gone. I thought he would be caught up in the prison sistem till i was old enough to protect myself. Get out. Get out. Get out. Thoughts rattle through my head and I watch this girl willingly join him in the mildew stained bathroom who only wanted my blood smeared across the floor. I felt rage approach me, a dark shadow behind me caking me in a blood thirst, my face contorts violently as 8 bite at my lips like sandpaper against soft untouched skin. My buckles turn a pale colour as I grip the edges of my table the shadow behind me cradleing my urges of torture. I hear a loud piercing noise dismiss the classroom as I struggle to gather myself away and into the hall. Red colours my eyes and cheeks before is see the carefully manafsctured sign on my locker. "druggy" is writen in a red glitter pen
Anger repents "shes one to talk, I've met her dad" I explicitly say to the nasty and pure evily crafted comment my eyes trace up and down. After what I just witnessed I find it funny, how girls always choose to fall inlove with the men who resemble there father in any way. Is huder at the thought of that. She wants to be hurt. She wants the pain. I look down at my wrist, maybe we are more similar than I thought we were. Frowning to myself any peace that once stood in the bubble no-one dared to stand in around me. Avery slammed her hands against her locker letting out a gasp of relief I turn to her, She giggles "what's got you down *nickname*?" she seems honestly concerned so I point at the narcissistic note on my belongings she scoffs "shes one to talk" "yeha you'll never guess who I saw her running towards the sheds with" "WHO" she exclaims followed by multiple heads turning in our direction I grin at the warmth I feel in her pressence. "you remember the guy that You called at the party" I emphasise my words so she can understand the weight of the situation. "she stops grabbing my arm and I begin to pull away before fixing myself and fighting my trauma response to not upset her, my star." WHAT I THOUGHT THAT BASTARD WAS IN PRISON" avery exclaims infuriated and engrossed shaking me lightly before pulling me into a hug, I feel myself loosen into her body heat and the wrath of the day shedding of of me and falling onto her as she comforts me with her vanilla scent. I hold onto this comfort to release my anxious and off putting emotions to a person of my age. As we release the hug she holds onto my elbows looking into my eyes her ey rows low and shadowing her eyes "a-are-are..."sge restarts her sentence "are you ok" I nod "to be honest I'm feeling alright about it she enjoys being hurt, so bring on the pain" the way she stabbed me into the heart floods back into my vision and I get taken back to the night that changed everything, the people and person I loved. God why can't these feeling just "GO AWAY" I yell into the darkness around me frustration turning into electricity in my palms as I thrash my arms around. "EVIE WHAT DID I DO TO YOU" I yell as sparks fly hitting me in the face before glowing in front of me. Beneath the layer of thick smoke I walk towoards the third perspective of me crying at my knees as she berates me in front of her friends I bark out orders to stop the madness that I am in and the only answer to a situation I found myself in would be that I was insane. Maybe I was crazy or maybe I was just a teenager.