Late Night Thoughts

Cupid's Arrows

2 WEEKS PRIOR TO THE BREAK UP

"You look down, what's on your mind?" Jack asks as he catches a glimpse at my apathetic face.

"I'm good, don't worry about me, Jack. God only knows how many problems you deal with on a day to day basis." It was true. My problems are nothing when compared to Jack's. A small altercation does not compare to a spiraling drug addiction and depression.

"You're hard to read, I'll give you that much. If I didn't know you well enough, I'd let it slide. But in our case, I do know you well, so, spill." I look him in the eyes, his pleading for information, so that he can twist it and make me feel better.

And that's all it took for me to start going on a rant. "Okay I'm sorry there, but if your girl has insecurities, for God's sake, reassure her about them. Like fuck, if she's afraid of you losing feelings, it's probably because you don't make her feel as wanted as she was before."

"Hey hey hey, did you talk to him about it?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did, because you know, we have a pretty open relationship, I thought I could talk to him about it. But instead, he fucking rolls his eyes and asks how many times he's gonna have to tell me before it gets through my head: he loves me."

Jack pulls me into a hug. "Does he really?"

"Yeah, it's just me overreacting, I think, I'll be back to normal tomorrow. We'll be back to normal tomorrow."

"Don't let him walk over you like that, he's treating you like dirt."

For the rest of the night I went on and on about how great Nolan was. I romanticized him to the point where the knives he pressed into my skin looked like Cupid's arrows. And I despise myself for letting myself get to that point.