A test

20.

3386 Words

Joey's POV

I wake up really happy today. My baby said that he loved me last night. Well he said it when he was sleeping, but still. He said it and my whole outlook has changed over night. But before I really get to happy, I need to confirm he knows what he said. It's one thing saying something while your asleep or half asleep. It's a whole other thing saying it while your awake. And I NEED to know what he might have meant by it as well. Is he accepting me as his daddy while he is Little? Is he accepting that he has a Little side? Is he wanting me to be more of a father to him? Or could it have been his real father that he was talking to in a dream or something? I didn't know and I really need to know.

I finally open my eyes and look down at him. I nearly jump as I see him already awake and staring at me. He smiles at me and I smile back. "No mean to scare you daddy." He called me daddy and my heart fluttered a little. I know he has been calling me that since Sam told him that a trusted person that is male is called daddy. But this time it sounded different to me. It sounded more... real or something. Like he meant more to it then normal.

"It's okay. I'm okay. You just surprised me is all." I was a little flustered this morning. "You ready to get up now?" To my surprise, he shook his head no. "No? Then what would you like to do then? Do you need more sleep?" He shook his head again and I watched as he was thinking. It seemed like he was trying to think of a way to tell me something. Maybe it had to do with last night? Did he remember what he said? I lay there watching him giving him the time he needed.

He looked like he was really thinking hard. Or he was constipated. I did not laugh. I really wanted to. He looked so cute at that moment. But then his face cleared and he looked up at me again. "We be hones wif each uder, right?" I nodded not wanting to interrupt where he was going with this. "We talk before I go to hospital. We talk about maybe me have Little side or little kid side. Way fo me to not stwess so much. About past and what happen to me. But we no talk about it sense then. And I want to know why." I could see in his eyes he really wanted to know. "I need to know if you would be okay if I did have a little kid side to me. I know you been taking care of me. And I know that you have to treat me like a little kid alweady. But that just because of casts. But what about after? What if I still want bottles and Leo? I know I be in pull-ups forever. But what about diapers? I can feel when I have to go poop now. But only a minute or two before. And now I is talking like little kid sometimes too. I not know why and dat scares me not knowing. Is that my wittle side? Or somfing else? An it not all the time ever."

He was starting to shed tears as he talk now and I had to stop him for now. "Hold on a moment kiddo." I said as I pulled him up fully on top of me. I scooted up myself so I was more comfortable as well. "Let me set your mind at ease a little bit. First off, we haven't talked about your little side because I didn't want to push you. Not with what you have gone through lately. I have no problems with you having a little kid side to you. I like that side of you. You seem more happy when you show that side. So even after your casts are off, I still will like holding you and take care of you." His tears slowed quickly as I was talking and rubbing his back.

"Now as for the bottles and your pacifier Leo. You can use those as much as you want. Even when your big you can still use them if you want. To be honest, and we are being honest with each other right now, right?" He looked up at me still with tears in his eyes. He nodded to me and then I told him. "I would prefer that you use your bottles all the time. They seem easier for you to hold and drink out of. But of corse you have options here. Sippy cups and cups with straws would be perfectly fine as well. And you can use adult cups and glasses when ever you want. But only when your big." That last bit got him a little confused.

"I have been reading up on the whole Little thing. Now I'm no expert or anything. But from what I have been reading there are a couple of different types of Littles. Some stay Little. Some slip a lot. And some only go Little every now and then. Then there are the ones that fight there Little side and try never to go Little. I don't want you to fight it. I want you to feel comfortable enough around me so you can slip when ever you need or want to. I want you to know I will be here for you at all times." He nodded but I still did answer his confusion yet.