A Bang and a Whimper

15

A few days have passed since Thor told Odin of his relationship with Jane. He has been carefully avoiding his father and even more careful to keep Jenna from him. On this day, he has kingly business, so he leaves Jenna with Loki in the library and goes to do what he must in order to keep the kingdom running- the order of the day is road repair. It sounds so very unappealing and he would much rather be in the library.

Jenna has rarely been in the library with no restriction on her time. When her mother had been alive, she had been smuggled in once in a while to find a very specific volume on some astronomical phenomenon or another, but in the year since her passing, she has not had the opportunity to wander in it. This is, however, Loki's favourite way to discover new reading material and he encourages her to get lost in the stacks. Fearing she will do so literally, she slips her hand in his and leads him where she wants to go, selecting books on botany, fine wood carving, and weaponry to bring back to their reading table.

"Uncle? Do you know if the library holds any volumes of children's stories from different realms?"

"I do not know. Would you like me to look?"

"Yes. My mother had a beautiful copy of Grimm's Tales when I was much younger, but she dropped it in the stream when reading to me and it mildewed. I miss it."

Excited at the prospect of discovering something new, Loki beams, "I will see if I can find it for you. Do not go anywhere, I will return shortly." He disappears into the stacks.

She is intently studying a diagram of different carving tools when a gruff voice interrupts her study, "I did not expect to find you here."

She freezes, keeping her eyes on the page, "Hello, Grandfather."

"Do not call me that."

"Even after an entire year of doting on me, you would say this?"

"Yes."

"That is stupid."

"What did you say?"

"I said that is utterly, entirely stupid." She looks up from her book, angry, "You would adore me if I were just like you, but the moment you find out that I am not, the entire person you came to know is worthless. That means you never really loved me at all." Her eyes brim with hot tears and she pushes the book back to keep from ruining the ink.

"How dare you speak to me so insolently!"

"If I am not your granddaughter, then why does it matter how I speak to you?"

"I am still Odin All-Father and you will respect that!"

"I owe you nothing!" She is ready to flee when Loki comes from the stacks, a book in hand.

"I found it. What is the-" He stops, looks quickly from Odin to Jenna, and drops the book on the table, placing both hands on her shoulders, "Are you alright?" She shakes her head, "Come here." She stand and he holds her, gently turning her so he stands as a barrier from Odin, "I only heard a little of what you said, but you will not raise your voice to her."

"You cannot command me. I am still your elder and hers. And though I am not king, I am still the All-Father and you will acknowledge that."

"Uncle, I wish to leave."

"We will, my love, we will."

"She is not your family, either, Loki. Stop pretending she is."

Loki looks Jenna in the eye as he replies, "Blood or built, family is family. Her mother taught us this. And I intend to honour that."

"Her mother was of Midgard!"

"Perhaps that is why she was so wise when it came to family. When one lives only a short time, one must value people all the more greatly, no matter where they are from."

Jenna hugs him, "Thank you."

"You are always welcome. Now let us find your father." Odin tries to step in front of them to prevent them from leaving, reaching for Jenna's arm, but a look from Loki stays his hand, "Touch her and I will end you."

"You dare threaten me?"

"I dare threaten anyone who lays a finger on her with the intent to harm her. Now move aside."

After a tense silence, Odin does as Loki asks.

Once in the hallway and well out of earshot, Jenna speaks, "You forgot the book."

"A book is not as important as your safety, child. We will find it again."

"He said I was no longer his granddaughter."

Loki stops and turns to her, "Do not believe you have done anything to deserve this."

"I told him that if he could throw a whole year away, he must not have loved me at all. Love does not do that."

"Unfortunately, sometimes pain and anger override love. It did once for me and I regret it."

"Father?"

"No. I tried to reject him but he was blessedly persistent. Your grandmother. I told her Odin was not my father and she asked if then she was not my mother. And I agreed, as I had no better answer. She died before I could make amends."

"Oh." Jenna does not know how to respond to this.

"I hope your grandfather is merely too hurt that he was not told earlier to respond rationally. I hope he will come around in a few days. I hope he will show you that he does yet love you. But in case he does not, please, dear girl, promise me you will not blame yourself in any way for his decisions."

There is so much about him she does not know, despite knowing the story her grandfather told her. Something in his face says he speaks from his heart and from his own mistakes. She nods.

"I will do my best."

"Will you talk to someone if you do begin to feel this way?"

"Yes."

"Good. I love you, my darling niece. You are a light."

She smiles and takes his hand.