A Bang and a Whimper

16

When Loki brings Jenna to Thor and she tells him what her grandfather said, Thor is furious. He cannot understand his father. Loki gently talks him down from his plan of find-Odin-and-scream. It seems like a fine plan to Thor, but Loki insists it will do no good.

When he is a little more calm, Thor cracks a small smile, "You are so much still the man I knew in our younger days. You have talked me out of many a rash thing."

"Except storming Jotunheim in retribution for disturbing your coronation. That one I could not talk you out of."

"Well you did cause the problem in the first place."

"I still tried to talk you out of it."

"True, true. So what do we do about Father?"

"Can we do anything? He is so very set in his ways."

Jenna interrupts, "If you don't mind, I would like to just go to bed now. I really want to forget about him for a while."

Thor excuses himself from Loki and leaves to tuck her in. When he returns, Loki has helped himself to a glass from the liquor cabinet and has poured him one as well.

"So...you asked what we do about Odin."

"Yes. We cannot let him do this to her."

"I did my best to stop it. I was so far back in the stacks that I did not hear but the last few exchanges. I did not think he would venture to the library today."

"I am proud of you, Brother, for standing up to him. Jenna said you threatened him?"

"I likely should not have done so, but yes. He tried to stop us from leaving and I told him I would end him, or anyone else who dared place a hand on her to harm her."

"He will not like that."

"I think he ws rather stunned. But it is true. For her, I will."

"You are a good uncle."

"Thank you, Thor. That means a great deal."

"It is true. But now we must figure out how to deal with Odin."

"Shall we sit down and spell things out for him? Tell him in no uncertain terms that this is the shape of your family and he will learn to accept it or be left out of it?"

"Our family, Loki. And I think perhaps that is all we can do. I did not tell him how much hiding Jane was hurting Jenna. I should tell him that as well."

"He will not take this well."

"No, he will not."

"Would it be best if you do this alone? He reminded me yet again today that I am not part of his family. He has said he wishes to understand why I have been what I have been, done what I have done, but I do not believe it. Not with what he has said."

"I will not let him define you out of this family. You, of all people, know how anger overrides reason."

"I do. And I reminded Jenna of this as well- that he is hopefully acting out of shock. She told me that love does not reject this way. And in the hall after, I told her what I did to Mother. I think it stunned her. But she needed to know that people who love one another can be cruel when they are too angry, proud, or afraid to speak truth."

Thor embraces Loki. There is something incredibly brave in Loki's admission of this to his daughter- this moment of deep vulnerability- and he does not know how to put into words how grateful he is that he would share it to try to teach her that acting this way is not necessarily a sign of hatred or rejection.

Loki relaxes in Thor's arms. This entire ordeal is emotionally taxing and he is remembering far too much of what it felt like to hear Odin say "no" on the Bifrost. Thor, though, is safety. He always has been. And he has learned so much from the one who always sought him and always protected him when he needed it. It is how he knows that what he is doing for Jenna is right- it is what Thor would do for him. And many times during his years on the throne as Odin, he found himself thinking "this is not what Thor would do" as he played his part.

"Do you wish me with you, Thor, or should you do this alone?"

"You will be with me- we are brothers. This family is ours."

Loki rests his head against Thor's shoulder, his heart lifting a little with Thor's words, "A moment, though, Thor. Please. To rest." Thor smiles and lets him snuggle against him. When they were children, Loki often sought the protection of his older brother's arms, especially after dealing with the court, or punishment from Odin. Knowing that there was always a refuge had kept Loki from running away from home more than once.

When he is ready, Loki sits up and smiles, "Thank you."

"Of course. It is good to have you back. All of you, body, heart, and mind."

"You are a delightful sap. Now call for someone to come watch Jenna and we will shatter our brief peace by dealing with your father."

So Thor asks Sif to sit with Jenna and calls for Odin; they meet around a round table in one of the smaller dining halls, "What have you called me here for?"

Thor clears his throat, "I know what you said to Jenna."

"It should be no surprise to you."

"But it is. And I thought better of you, Father. Jenna is a child. She needs her family- every one of us. But if you cannot accept that her family includes both Jane and Loki, then it is not her fault. She has done nothing to deserve such treatment and heartbreak."

"You know the way this world runs, Thor."

"I do. And I know that you can lead the path to change or stay steadfast on your path away from this family."

Odin's jaw drops and he is at a complete loss for words.

Loki adds, "Jenna's feelings about her mother, Thor."

"Ah. Thank you." He addresses Odin, "I told you because it hurt Jenna too deeply to hide her mother. To not even be able to say her name or to tell you her memories of her. She wanted to share this joy. And not being able to do such has taught her that her mother's origin is something to be ashamed of. And I cannot let my daughter go through life feeling like that."

"Odin, you will regret this if you continue to reject her. We are trying to teach her that even people who love one another do horrible things sometimes. We are trying to keep her open to forgiving you for this. But we cannot do it forever. At some point, she will stop believing us."

Odin laughs, "You? Of all people, you are the one to speak of forgiveness?"

Thor does not find this amusing, "Yes, he is."

"And how is he to teach it if he cannot practice it? You still reject me as your father, do you not?"

"Do you still reject me as your son?" Odin says nothing, "In the entire time of my return, my healing, you have not once addressed me in a way that made me think you did not still consider me a monster. You have said that you once called me yours, but never indicated you would again. So no, I do not call you father. Not yet. But I also know I have had decades of being you to think about such things. You have had but a year."

Thor rises and Loki follows him, "I will leave you to think, Father. I love my daughter as you loved me. As you once loved Loki. And I will not let you break her."

Odin has not moved from his place at the table as the door closes behind them.