A Bang and a Whimper

32

Sif accepts Loki's invitation to supper and joins the family regularly. Fandral often comes as well, as he otherwise would be alone and he prefers this built family over sitting at home by himself every night. Hogun is his opposite- he likes to eat alone, but once in a while it is nice to have others to talk to over a meal. Volstagg has his brood at home, but at least once a week he brings them to the table for storytelling, laughter, and to build their community. He sees no reason why his children should not consider his friends their aunts and uncles in addition to the ones they already have.

Odin has watched these gatherings from the outside. He has not yet told Jenna that he wants to once again be her grandfather. Every time he sees the friends gather for a meal, hears the jokes, the uproarious laughter, the songs, and the chatter of the children, he feels sad. This is something he once wanted for his own family. He knows he could be a part of it, but there are two problems with this- firstly, he would have to talk to Jenna, and he does not know if she will accept what he has to say. And secondly, he would have to speak to Loki, and he is not entirely sure how he feels about Loki. This is the Loki Odin expected to know- the one that he had envisioned as he watched the boy grow up. Elegant, mischievous, thoughtful, and playful. Not the angry, spiteful creature he became for those years between. But Odin has to keep reminding himself that he lost decades of time and that he does not know what he was like during the years on the throne. He does not know when the change happened, or how. And he still does not understand how his son could hate him so much for not telling him of his roots, or how he could descend into whatever madness it was that caused him to invade Midgard. Or how he could ever have recovered from it.

He sends a message to Jenna- a simple letter asking if she would grant him audience to ask for her forgiveness and he signs it as her grandfather. But she does not respond. He wants to bluster and be angry, but he realizes that her life is also very busy. There are lessons filling her waking hours, trainings with Sif and the Warriors Three, and hours spent in the library studying. Thor briefly told him that she was getting ready to assume her role as princess and to be introduced to the court. She must learn an overwhelming amount in the short time before then, things that his boys were raised to know from their births. Or, in Loki's case, from shortly after his birth.

He watches these preparations from the various hiding places in the palace. She is a quick learner, graceful, and eager to get things just right. A little too much like her uncle in that regard. There are days she is so exhausted that she falls asleep after supper wherever she is, whether that is in her father's chambers or her uncle's, sometimes even dozing at the table. There are also days she is frustrated by her mistakes to the point of tears and both men comfort her the best they can, gently suggesting other ways of looking at things. She is catching on. And then Thor tells his father that she feels ready, that there is a date set, and that he can make his own decision as to whether or not he wants to stand in the throne room with the rest of the court when she is presented. But there is also a warning in Thor's message, and Odin knows he will never speak to his son again if he does anything to ruin the day for her.

Jenna is excited to be presented to the court. She has learned so much in the past months about how she will be expected to behave and dress when they are not in the private areas of the palace. Her father has assured her that they will still sneak out of the palace for Midsummer's Eve revels and there will be no change in that tradition. But still, there is a lot to remember. She and Loki have worked out a system of small signals for if she feels lost or missteps and they have taught it to her father. She does not want to feel stranded or alone.

The day before her very big day, she has her final gown fitting and makes sure that her father knows just how she wants to be introduced. Then she is told to rest. But there is no rest in her mind. There is a letter from her grandfather unanswered on her desk and she cannot think of the right words to say in response. Instead of brushing up on her notes for the ceremony, she seeks out her uncle and finds him in his rooms, working on his own book.

"Uncle? A moment?"

"Of course, dearest Jenna." He waits for her to continue.

"Can we sit together on the couch? Perhaps read?"

He smiles and puts away his manuscript, "Which book? I would be delighted. It has been far too long."

"Yes, we have been too busy with princessing. I will be so glad when tomorrow is over. At least then I can stop going over and over and over the details of which direction they want to twist my hair. It's just hair! Four meetings over it! It's nonsense!"

"You will still have lessons and time training, but things will slow down. We will find that we can once again read every evening or take walks in the gardens."

"I hope so, Uncle. I miss that." She goes to his bedroom and returns with a well worn hardbound book, "How about 'Trigger Warning'? I think I need something creepy."

"Well there is plenty of creepy in there, my dear."

"Start with 'Click-clack the Rattlebag' and then go from there."

"The most creepy one of all, perhaps. Did you know the first time we read this, I stayed up half the night listening for all the little sounds around me? It was eerie."

She giggles, "I still do that."

"To be honest, so do I. The story is that good."

The snuggle together on the couch and he opens the book. At one time, he read the whole story, but now they divide it and she reads the child's lines and he reads the narrative. It makes the story more effective. They read like this for hours; there is no limit on their time this afternoon and evening. It is very much like how things were so early on in their relationship and it is something so familiar, so comfortable, that soon Jenna forgets how nervous she is about the following day.

Before they join the rest of the family for supper, she puts away the book and slips her hand in his, holding it tightly as they walk the halls, "We have to make the time for this, even if things get busy with the court and princess life. I think we both need it far more than we can explain."

"I agree. I have missed our time spent wandering in words these past few weeks."

"Tomorrow is going to change everything."

"Yes...and no. There will be more lessons, appointments to keep, and duties to attend, but we will all still be the same people in the same family."

"Was it hard for you?"

"On occasion, yes. But I had a much harsher parent pushing for perfection. You do not. Your father is working very hard to do things differently- to follow our mother's lead." He stops and turns to face her, lifting her chin so she looks him in the eye, "My dear girl, you are surrounded by love. There will never be a time you cannot find help, or retreat to talk things over. Being presented to the court and realm will not change who you are unless you wish it. It will not, cannot, separate you from us. It is just a new title, a new schedule. If you ever feel that it is too much, tell us. We are right here with you." She gives him a big hug and he holds her tight, "Always remember you are a light, child. No one can take that from you."

"Thank you."

When she lets go, they walk to the dining hall in silence. It will be a lively supper, and there will likely be toasts and songs, and possibly even some magic. It will take her mind off things for a little while. But Jenna knows that, when she falls in bed exhausted at the end of the day, she will still be asking herself what to do about her grandfather and if there will really be time for all the things she loves in this new reality of the court and acting the part of royalty.