Sagas

{22} A change of heart ~ D

We got out of the saloon and joined the students moving about, whiling away time, as they waited for P.E to start by four o'clock. Some of them were already in their jerseys, while others still had their uniforms on. Classes ended at two o'clock, and Lawrence and I had gone to the saloon right after classes. I weaved my hair into cornrows, while Lawrence had a fresh haircut. Lawrence dusted his clothes, trying to get rid of the hair particles that still stuck to them. He looked clean, and his new haircut made him even more attractive, highlighting his handsome features.

"I need a shower," he said as his hands swept his neck and arms, his irritation at the prickling hairs increasing by the minute. "Quit staring at me, will you? You're creeping me out," Lawrence added, feigning disgust.

I laughed at his words and moved my eyes away from him. Like Lawrence's haircut, I also hoped my new hairstyle made me look put-together enough, and adequately covered up the tension I felt inside at the thought of facing Phoebe again.

Just like the rest of the school activities that took place this week, Principal Katherine also instructed that we resume training today, stating that Phoebe had had enough time to recuperate. And since we had missed two days of training, we were going to train today and on Independence Day tomorrow, when the rest of the school would be celebrating.

I missed being near her and talking to her. It had been a long, difficult week, and while I did as she asked and kept my distance from her, I wasn't sure I could endure one more day without speaking to her, even though I dreaded being judged by her. I had never cared about what anyone thought and never minded how my actions affected others. And it was strange that I now cared about what she thought of me.

I wanted to tell her the truth, to make her see that I wasn't in love with Becky and that the only reason I was still with her after what transpired between them in the common room, was because I couldn't let Becky go, not when I needed her.

I was upset with Becky, not because of how things ended up with Patrick or the trouble it got Kevin in. I didn't give a fuck about any of those. Patrick was a bag of dirt, and I didn't share in the grief other students wallowed in, nor did I feel a bit sorry for him. And Kevin's arrest would be the best thing that had happened around here in a while, as long as his absence was permanent this time. In simple terms, it was good riddance to the both of them.

The reason I was mad at Becky, was because she had messed with Phoebe. She had found another giant piece of the puzzle I was putting together, and when she shared her findings with me and Lawrence on Sunday, the pieces I had been working on began to take on a clearer shape. She had asked a cleaner to rummage through Phoebe's room on Thursday, and they had found some pills. It didn't end there; she looked up the pills and discovered they were sleeping pills, anxiety pills, and another pill for a condition called 'Haphephobia'. Her curiosity rising, she proceeded to check Phoebe's files and found out that Phoebe's condition made it difficult for her to make physical contact with people. Becky had known everything and kept it to herself, and on Saturday, she had taken advantage of the information, using it to hurt Phoebe in the worst way she could. And that was a line she should never have crossed.

I had done my research on Phoebe's condition, and the more I understood it, the more eager I became to know her and find out what had made her this way. The discovery explained a lot of things I had noticed but didn't quite understand. How she was always fully covered, why she seemed so nervous all the time, and how she avoided direct contact with others. She was an enigma, always giving me something new to ponder about, and knowing about her condition made me want to protect her even more. And it was this desire to keep her from harm that presented me with another piece of my puzzle.

I had that dream again today-the dream about the girl I made a promise to-and I finally understood it. The girl was Phoebe, and something had happened to her to put her in that state. It was why the girl in my dream always screamed when I touched her, because Phoebe couldn't be touched. I had tried to understand the dream for weeks when the answer was right in front of me. I didn't know what happened to her to make her this way or to put her in that darkness, but I would find it all, and little by little, I would understand her completely. She was probably the Aruthel my dragon always told me to find, all those years ago when he was the only companion I had. And she had come to me, came all the way to my dreams to find me, and then, she had begged me to help her out, to protect her from something she was scared of. And I had promised. I had promised time and time again and still let Becky harm her. Let those puppets touch her right in front of me. But that was the last time-the last time anyone would hurt her.