Freed From Desire

Part 10

Katie

I checked my phone for probably the hundredth time today, feeling a pang of disappointment when the notification was, once again, something random like getting tagged on instagram. There were tons of fan theories going around about me and Caitlin so I was getting tagged in different things and edits constantly. Usually I had my phone on do not disturb for that very reason.

But not when I was waiting for a reply from Nora. 

It was later in the day, I'd finally gotten up and invited Viv to go on a light jog with me. Just something to move our bodies without feeling like we needed to puke in some bushes on the way. 

So far we had covered every imaginable topic, starting from discussing the game and little Myle to arguing about different syrups to use in coffees. Vivianne had done an impressive job of avoiding the topic we both knew we were actually here because of, letting me open up on my own time.

"So last night," I started hesitantly. She was the least judgemental person I knew but I still felt like crap about this whole situation so it wasn't easy to talk about even with Viv.

But she just looked at me, a light smirk on her lips and nodded for me to go on. We had fallen into the same slow pace, Viv shortening her gait a bit to fall into step with me. She was quite a bit taller than me so it was always a compromise on what felt like a jog to one and a walk to the other.

"Whose place did you two end up at?" she simply asked, causing me to stare her down with wide eyes. Had we really been that obvious?

"Uh.. Mine," I eventually replied with a sigh.

"I'm guessing she didn't stay for a romantic breakfast or you wouldn't be in such a sour mood."

I was quiet for a few moments. At first I had thought that this was all a mistake and that's why I woke up feeling like absolute crap. Well, besides the hangover that threatened to end me.

But the more I thought about it, the more I leaned towards Viv's understanding of things. Which bothered me. A lot.

"I just don't get her. One moment she acts like there's nothing going on but then when we're alone it's like.. she lets her guard down. But before I know it, the wall goes up again and I'm left wondering what the hell is going on. She said it's just sex and that even that was apparently a mistake. But there's other moments when it's just.. different," I rambled, letting all my thoughts just flow out of me.

Vivianne nodded towards a bench on the side of this trail we were running and we both jogged over there, taking a seat. "Well have you tried asking her?"

"I did, two minutes before she left my place. She just did that face she does and said everything is fine which was obviously a lie or she wouldn't have left in the middle of the night," I shrugged.

"You do work together so maybe she's just apprehensive about the whole situation and doesn't want to get more involved. You know, just like a casual thing?" Viv offered and I had to agree that it made sense. But..

"Okay but when we fell asleep she was like.. the cuddliest little spoon imaginable. That doesn't exactly scream casual to me," I rebutted. Or maybe I was convincing myself because I didn't want it to just be casual. But that was too scary to admit.

"She was also drunk, people act differently then," Viv reminded me. Which was true.

"Differently or just more honestly?" I asked in return to which we both eventually shrugged.

"Women," she sighed and I nodded before resting my head on her shoulder.

"Literally."

___

It was early in the evening by the time Nora finally texted me back. I had successfully managed not to send her any more messages in the fear of coming off as too strong. But I'd still checked my phone religiously for the whole day.

Nora [17:23]: Yeah, I definitely haven't been feeling great today so that can serve as my punishment for the shots

Such a simple reply that it made me wonder why it took her a million hours to send it. Or maybe she was busy. Maybe busy with someone. My brain was already working overtime.

Maybe that's why I did it. Or maybe I was simply insane. But instead of typing a message back, I pressed the call button and waited anxiously. She picked up on the second ring.

"Uh, hi.." Nora's voice sounded anything besides confident. But at least she answered.

"Hey, sorry.. Figured calling was easier," I, on the other hand, tried to sound as chill and unbothered as I wished I was feeling. "Hope I didn't interrupt anything."

"No, I was just making some food finally. The slightest hint of an appetite has returned. Remind me to never do absynthe again," she laughed softly and I shuddered at the memory of that green liquid. Whose idea had that even been?!

"Yeah, I'll agree with you on that," I nodded, cursing myself silently. Why did everything I say sound so damn awkward?! I felt like a teenager, talking to her crush for the first time. Which also was a thought I quickly suppressed.

"You left your top at my place. I figured I can bring it to you tomorrow, but well.. we probably don't want people seeing me return your clothes," I tried a different approach.

She was quiet for a little while, although I could hear the faint sounds of what I thought was a knife on the chopping board.

"Yeah, it's best if no one finds out about last night," she agreed, her tone different somehow. But I couldn't really place it. "Uh, I also have your shirt."

Memories of her in it flooded my brain and I smiled involuntarily. "You can keep it," slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself and I closed my eyes, swearing in my thoughts. Maybe calling her hadn't been such a good idea.

Nora was quiet again and I had no clue if she was just focusing super hard on whatever she was making or simply not wanting to talk to me.

"Have you eaten yet?" she suddenly broke the silence, shaking me out of my thoughts. It took me a few seconds to convince myself that I hadn't misheard her. Maybe she was just concerned about my wellbeing as.. the team physio..?

"Um well I had breakfast like.." I looked at the watch on my wrist and cringed. "Seven hours ago." Okay, maybe food hadn't really been on my mind. 

"I'm really bad at cooking for one so.." Nora said and trailed off again. Was this an invite?! "I'm making soup. You know.. easy on the stomach," she added. It was quite the contrast. She had no problem telling me what to do in trainings. Or bed.. But this quiet and somewhat awkward version made me feel all fluttery in my stomach. 

Or maybe that was the hunger at the mention of food.

"I could be there in ten," I offered, gathering up all the courage I had in this moment and hoping I was right in assuming this was where she was going with it. Or trying to go, bless her.

"That works," she simply replied and I silently raised my fist in the air in celebration.