I think i will carry you with me for the rest of my days.
Remembering you does not go away simply because you are gone.
It's bitter-sweet. To want to never think about you again but to be dying to talk about you and everything that happened. Not a day goes by where I do not think of you. Not a day goes by where I'm begging for someone to mention your name so I can talk about you.
You never said goodbye and part of me believes that means you're coming back and I don't know what I would do if you ever came back. I could have been anything in the world during that time in my life yet all I wanted was to be yours.
I thought it was getting better, I truly did. But some nights at 3 am I lay there thinking everything over, trying to figure out where the fuck was I not enough for you.
I will never forget the night my father held me in his arms as I sobbed in that hospital bed. As I cried out my lungs and heart. As I cried out your name wondering why I deserved to suffer like this. I will never forget him trying to get me to breathe as I desperately gasped for air between sobs. I'll never forget the heartbreak on my father's face when I screamed for you to love me as you were in bed with another woman.
