Hololive: Stories

Let you break my heart again (AmeSame)

"I'm feeling kind of sick tonight" I told Ina as I excuse myself from the dining table. Myth was having an off collab earlier and now we're all crashing on Calli's and Kiara's place. They all acknowledge me and went back to their conversation about who can beat only up faster amongst the five of us.

All I've had is coffee and leftover pie that Ina bought earlier before we had the off collab I guess It's no wonder why I'm feeling kind of sick. Gura was exceptionally hyper today, that's cool, it always brightens my day whenever she's having fun. Calli and Kiara are well aware of my feelings towards the blue shark and they've been nothing but supportive.

I'm grateful, if only they know that Gura doesn't feel the same way. How would I know? I've been playing with time, I know it's bad and I'm abusing my time travel privilege just to make her look at me the way I look at her. I promise I did my best to stop but... Still she takes up all my mind. I don't even think that she care like I do, no matter how hard I try to make her look my way, her eyes has always been on Ina.

I should stop, heaven knows I've tried, but I can't help but turn back the time again and again. I can't let Ina have Gura, in all the timeline I've been to, I always seems to fail at making me love me back, no matter how much I try, how much I did for her. She always choose Ina. I don't hate Ina for that, it's not something she can control but some part of me wishes we've never met her at all. Maybe then.. will Gura look my way. It's selfish of me, I know, but thinking of the possibilities is making me crazy.

"One day, I will stop falling in love with you" I tried to convince myself again and again to just move on. Ina clearly deserve the best and if Gura's the one then I can't ruin it for them.

Cause I know that some day, someone will like me like I like you.. but until then, I'm going to keep loving you. Stupid? Pathetic? You don't need to tell me. I know how stupid and pathetic that sounds like, but I just can't help but think of that specific shark. So until then, I'll just drink my coffee, eat my pie and keep pretending that we are more than friends.

After refreshing my mind and keep a positive front out I return back to find them moving from the dining table to the living room, they were setting up uno and it was only Calli, Kiara and Gura who's playing, while Ina just sat on the couch watching them. I sat down by Ina and nudge her on the shoulder gently, "Why aren't you playing?" I asked, she simply shook her head and said that she doesn't feel like playing for now and prefer to just sit and talk with me instead.

She's probably just saying that because she's worried as I told her I felt a bit sick tonight. I appreciate the gesture a lot but sometimes it irritates me how nice she's to me. A part of me wish it would've been Gura instead...

Gura gave us a glance and I could see that she's sad that Ina wasn't playing before returning her attention back to the game. Kiara and Calli were obviously ganging up on her which not to our surprise Gura was super clueless.

My eyes were focus on Gura the whole time while occasionally looking at Ina as she's talking to me. To all of our surprise even with Calli and Kiara trying to set Gura up to lose she still won the game. Gura jumped to her feet in celebration and went to hug Ina to which took Ina by surprise as she was focus on talking about collab ideas to do with me in the future that I wasn't paying attention to at all. I watched them, they look so good together, then of course I'll let her break my heart again.

I just don't understand... I'm trying to understand still, what I am to you, Gura? More than the songs we've exchanged? Midnight calls? Sunset views?

But of course all of those were because of Ina. Songs we've exchanged because you can't figure out the songs Ina love. Midnight calls because you're having dillema on what to where on your dates with Ina. Sunset views you sent me because they reminded you of me. Of course how could I still not know, I'm just a bestfriend to you. I'm just in major denial, still am..

I promise I didn't mean to cry, but I can't help it whenever I get overwhelmed and confused because of your actions. If only you knew, what I felt like whenever all you do is talk about Ina when we're hanging out. Have you ever wondered how shitty it'll make me feel? I thought you asked to hang out because you want to spend time with me. I guess I'm just being delusional.

I told Kiara and Calli that I'm going home tonight. Although we promised to have a sleep over together, I just can't emotionally handle watching Gura being too close with Ina. Both Ina and Gura look at me with concerns as it's rare of me to pull out of our plans together. "Hey are you okay?" Ina caught up to me outside of their apartment. How I wish it was Gura instead who cares about me more.

"I'm fine, you should go back with the others, I just wasn't feeling that well today" I lied to her.. well partially, I do feel unwell, but not because of the coffee I drank of the pie I ate. Of course I'll not tell Ina that.

"Oh okay, I'm sad that you had to leave early, I enjoy our talks today though! We should hang out more soon!" She said enthusiastically. Honestly.. she's so annoying, but I can see why Gura loves her. She's Inanis, the kindest person you'll ever meet. I'm grateful to have her as a friend but it's just unfortunate for me how she's the one Gura love.

She hug me goodbye and I promised her that I'll make it up to her in the future as I somehow felt bad by her genuine gesture towards me. On my way back I thought to myself again..

One day, I will stop falling in love with her. Some day, someone will like me like I like her. Until then, I'll just keep drinking my coffee, eat my pie and pretend that we are more than friends. Then of course I'll let you break my heart again.

A/n: I feel like writing Angst so here's Amesame one.. enjoy? :'D
Obviously inspired by the song hope you guys like it.

As usual I don't proofread my work before publishing if there's spellings or grammatical error my apologies.

Ctto: https://twitter.com/yppah1060/status/1727191423647375695?t=tIOEn6TeZIy0DQrYDe1AXw&s=19