Arrow : Shado of the Past

Lust for escape

It's getting old...dying or at least mentally draining myself, as well as physically, only to be brought back on the brink of the abyss for no fucking reason. I tried to die the other day, and I made myself a promise to go to Olivers home and hand over the location of all the evidence they need and share his, as well as his father's, true fate. Only then could I die. Instead, my dumb impulsive mind jumped off a bridge. I have that twitch sensation in my muscles again, I know some things goanna happen. I know I'm goanna be awake soon. It's more a matter of where do I wake.

It's the intensity of what happens after I nearly die that hurts me the most. I see him. I only see him. Every time I close my eyes, I see him. He's why I don't sleep. He's why I find it so hard to just give up and die. It's all because I couldn't save him, and now he's here to make sure I never have peace again. Oliver is the reason why I must open my eyes right now.

I sprung up, still hurting. Everything still stings and whimpers for the end. At least I don't have to go back to that watery image, though. The room was dark, and the only light was emerging from a dimly lit orange lantern across the room.

"Maseo? Tatsu?...Akio?" I called out into the shadows of the room using my Chinese accent for the first time in a long time. No reply.

The glow was scary, I'd rather it be fully dark. At least, then my fear could feel more warranted, and I wouldn't be able to see whatever emerges from the depths. I scrambled to move my legs and arms, but they were bound to the bed I was on. Whoever took me from that river saved me only to tie me up and leave me here. I hope Maseo and his family got away.

"Do you wish to die?" Asked a voice that dominated the formerly feared shadows. I can't be scared now, though.

"Who's there?" I returned fire.

"Do. You. Wish. To. Die?" The voice sounded reminiscent of something. Like someone who had saved me before, though, someone who had wronged me too. Despite all uncertainty regarding my situation, I decided to respond truthfully.

"Yes,"

"Do you wish for me to kill you?"

"Yes,"

"Why?"

"Because I can't afford to live anymore," I firmly stated as I slumped my head back into the mattress, I even had a pillow.

"Why..."

"Are you going to sit and ask questions all day, or are you going to do something about this?"

"I could untie you, but you first have to untie yourself from the shackles that bound you to death,"

"Fuck your metaphors and shoot me or stab me or whatever!"

"I believe I have already committed to the second option," Stated Nyssa as she came forth from the dark depths and bathed in the warm glow of the lantern staring at me curiously.

"Yeah... you stabbed me..." I stated reluctantly, now refusing to take my eyes off the enemy.

"You have been bathed in a lazuras pit, an option I wish to one day bless me...I apologise for the tyrant that is Merlyn for taking you out too early, leaving your scars behind,"

"You're not sorry. One of these scars is caused by you,"

"And it seems to have healed nicely and again. I formerly apologise for the harm that has been inflicted upon you,"

"Your father wants me, I assume..."

"Yes,"

"Alive?"

"Yes,"

"Dressed in just a bra and jeans, or do I get something a little less revealing?" I said boldly. Nyssa looked down to the floor, attempting to hide her teeth deepening into her lip. She's nervous.