Keeping Secrets (Book I)✔️

Chapter Eight

Florence:

I looked over and found Eric's blue eyes staring at me. I frowned and looked away, I hadn't spoken to him in a while now, I kind of missed him but I finally made up my mind. It was a hard decision to make and even harder hiding how I felt around everyone because I couldn't open up and tell them what was going on in my mind. I began talking again and trying to eat my food but I didn't feel hungry anymore. I got up and left the table, telling Kevin, Charlotte and Emma I needed to go to the bathroom.

As soon as I exited the cafeteria, I made my way towards the bathrooms. I heard the doors of the cafeteria opening and closing again and then footsteps coming towards me.

"Flo." I heard Eric call, still a good bit behind me. I walked faster. "Flo!" He called, even louder now. Please, anybody but him, I thought. I knew it would be unfair to not give him an explanation but I was chicken, especially when it came to things like this with Eric. He had caught up with me now and stopped me in my tracks, standing in front of me. I looked up at him with tired eyes, I really wasn't in the mood right now. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, sounding a little concerned.

"Nothing." I brushed him off and tried to walk away but he stopped me again.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he looked at me with pain in his eyes. I shrugged. "God damn it Florence answer me!" his voice dripped with frustration. I avoided his eyes for a moment, deciding whether to just be honest with him or not. "Flor-"

"I'm tired of this okay?" I was getting angry now too. I looked him in the eye, his expression dropped. Was it panic maybe? No it couldn't be. "I'm tired of keeping things from everyone and acting like I don't even know you when other people are around."

"You know I don't want a relationship Florence."

"And neither do I, that's not what I'm getting at." I said through gritted teeth. Was he trying to make me out to needy? I wasn't needy, I didn't want to go out with him either. I just wanted to be able not hide things from my friends, I wanted to be able to look for advice and I wanted to just hang out with him whenever we wanted without making sure no one we knew was around. It was seriously getting on my nerves the more I thought about it. "We should just quit while we're ahead." I finally said. He looked really angry now.

"Why? What's wrong with this? Do you want to tell everyone about us or something?" he demanded, I knew he was getting agitated now.

"I never said I wanted to tell everyone. I just-"

"Good, because there's nothing to tell. There's nothing between us Florence and there never will be, you were just someone I fooled around with every once in a while." His words were like venom, burning through my heart. Tears pricked my eyes but I refused to cry in front of him. I was shocked at how much his words hurt but I didn't want to stand there any longer and show him how much he affected me.

"Fuck you." I spat before brushing past him and storming off towards the bathrooms. God I was so angry and just so heartbroken at the same time. You were just someone I fooled around with every once in a while, his words rang in my ears again. Why was I so stupid? I knew that was what this meant to him all along, why did I try to pretend it wasn't? I felt so horrible and hurt and I just didn't want to think about it anymore. I never imagined I would allow myself to feel like this over Eric. I knew all along what I was getting myself into.

I didn't feel like going back to lunch or to any classes I had after it so I walked out of school and went straight to the nearest McDonalds for comfort food and then on a very long drive to clear my head. I had all of my windows open as I flew down empty roads, not caring where they took me. I had the radio turned up full blast and all I done for a good three hours was listened and ate and cried every now and then.

Why was I getting so upset? You know why Florence, I thought. You really did a good job at pretending you didn't care about Eric, but you know you really do, even if he doesn't care about you too. But then I remembered what he said that night at the party, just because I don't want to go out with you doesn't mean I don't care about you, that was such a lie! It made another tear slip down my cheek. Why was I still crying? Snap out of it Florence!

My thoughts were just one big blur, I was confused as hell. I began to make my way to the park a few minutes away from where I lived. I parked and got out of the car, making my way to the more reserved part beside the lake. There were no benches so I sat down on the grass, watching the ducks waddle and swim around. Because it was mid-February, it didn't get dark as early anymore and the sun was just beginning to set, making the sky a beautiful orange-blue color. I sat there for a while, still feeling slightly down but not as bad as before. Eric wasn't worth it.

Just then, I heard barking and someone shouting.

"Skip! Come back here now!" The owner demanded. I turned around but it was too late to get up now. The dog was running towards in my direction and jumped on me, licking my face. I squirmed and opened my eyes when it stopped to see a huge German Shepard breathing heavily and smiling at me, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he did so.

"Skip!" The voice sounded familiar and like it was getting closer now. I laughed at the dog's expression as it tilted its head to the side, staring back at me. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry- Florence?" the person stood by my side. I looked from the brown work-shoes beside my face all the way up to the person's face.

"Hey." He said sheepishly, he looked embarrassed now.

"Hey."