Keeping Secrets (Book I)✔️

Chapter Twenty

Florence:

I was lying on my bed listening to music when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said loudly. The door opened and I was surprised to see Charlotte standing there in front of me.

"Hey." She said quietly as she stepped in and shut the door behind her. "Your dad let me in, I just wanted to see you."

I hadn't spoken to Charlotte, Emma or Kevin properly in a while now. I was too busy trying to calm my racing thoughts and avoiding Eric and his calls and messages. Why was he still trying to talk to me, couldn't he get the hint already?

"Want to sit?" I asked, sitting up and leaning my back against my head board. She walked over to the bed and sat down, mirroring me.

"So how are things?" she asked me, but I wasn't looking at her. I held my knees close to my chest now, and focused on the wall in front of me.

"Fine." I said quietly. I was lying though. I was actually stuck in a rut and I had no one to talk to or ask advice from. There was a silence that filled the room for a few moments before Charlotte spoke again.

"What's Eric done now?" she asked casually, but a hint of concern could be detected from her voice.

"Something he can't fix." I mumbled, surprised at how she found out but too tired to show it. Could Chloe have spread it around already? "How did you know?"

"I've always known Florence, I am your best friend after all."

"Really?" I turned my head to look at her now. She nodded.

"I had a feeling, since well ages ago. But I only put together the pieces fully a few months ago. We were at Evan's party and you were drunk and muttering some nonsense about how much you liked Eric's house. He said he'd take you home, he seemed so protective and concerned about you that when he offered to take you home, well I wasn't sure Florence. But I knew it; I knew you two had something going on and that he'd bring you home safely so I let you two go." I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment.

"Oh god, did I say anything else about it that night?"

"No, don't worry." She laughed. "Evan helped me to put the pieces together, he told me how Eric had been acting weird lately and we both talked about you two."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Charlotte, but please, don't tell anyone else. It was supposed to be a secret."

"But why?" she asked, curiosity showing on her face.

"Why?" I gulped. Why? I thought. I tried to come up with an answer.

"Yes, why. It's clear that you two care about each other, so why keep it a secret?"

"I- I don't know. I guess I just went along with it, I didn't care. We were never a couple Charlotte."

"Could've fooled me." She replied. "It's so obvious your feelings' are there, why not act on them?" If I had been having this conversation with Charlotte last weekend, I probably would've cried but I was over that now. I was more angry than upset right now.

"They aren't. I really liked him Charlotte, I did, but I know he doesn't feel the same. Sometimes, I would think he maybe could and recently, well it's been great between us but I haven't been honest with him. I haven't spoken up and said what I wanted to say to him and now everything's messed up. I know now, he never felt the same about me."

"What do you mean? What did he do?" she quizzed me about all of the things that happened between us. I told her everything, just like I had with Jake and it made me feel better as she listened intently. Her brows furrowed at the mention of Chloe and our chat in the bathrooms a few days ago.

"She's just jealous Florence, can't you see?" she replied.

"Of what?" I laughed, she really had nothing to be jealous about.

"That Eric genuinely likes you, you have him wrapped around your finger I bet."

"No." I shook my head, "I don't. I don't want him there either, I'm done with all of this." I said with a lot less finality than I wanted.

"I know that if all of these things with Chloe and what Mick said are true, then Eric really isn't good enough for you. Hooking up with other people is what you signed up for, not an actual relationship. But I think that there is still a chance that those two were lying, you need to ask him first."

"I'm staying away from him from now on. I don't ever want him to make me feel the way I did last weekend again. It was partially my fault too which means I have to be more careful." We talked for a while longer and then Charlotte left.

"Just think about what I said, okay?" she gave me a hug before leaving and held me at arm's length. I nodded but I knew I wouldn't. I would just leave it and both of us would go on with our lives.

Once she left I was on my own again, lying on my bed listening to music. I had another message from Eric but I didn't bother reading it. I thought about how it might be a little unfair of me to not give Eric a chance to explain to himself but if I was honest, I felt embarrassed about the whole thing now, including my feelings.

I had pushed everything aside that I felt I needed to say to Eric all the way through the months we had spent together. All of these things, these little realizations and insights into what happened, were only coming to me now.

There was this deep sadness and regret with in me that I didn't tell Jake or even Charlotte about. Although a part of me was done with everything and the complications of Eric, there was still a sliver of me remaining that wished he would want me. That he would like me back and that Chloe and Mike were lying to me. I wanted Eric, when I thought about it, I really did but not now.

It had taken too many bad feelings instead of good to realize how deeply I had fallen in love with him over the last few months. I loved our visits to IHOP, our drives, just talking to him made my day even a little bit better. I regretted holding back, and although it was something I would never let pass my lips, I admitted to myself that if I could go back and change things, I would. But I couldn't.

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Thanks for reading, please vote and comment if you liked this chapter! This chapter is dedicated to DirectionersSlay1, thank you:) Everyone should go and check out her fanfic book on her profile!  And don't forget to check out my romance book "Menacingly" too:)

A. Summers xo